


Official Ship Log of the Strawhat Pirates

by merryfortune



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Drabble Collection, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, Multi, Oneshot collection, Other, Polyamory, Quality of Writing Jumps Wildly Between Chapters, Queerplatonic Relationships, Requests, Some Chapters are Alternate Universe, Some Chapters are Canon Compliant, Some Chapters are Canon Divergent, Swearing, Tumblr Fic, Writing Style Jumps Wildly Between Chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-09-12 11:49:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 116
Words: 42,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9070402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merryfortune/pseuds/merryfortune
Summary: A variety of unrelated One Piece mini fics. Chapter 1 functions as a Table of Contents.Affiliated with shitstrawhatssay and (the now deactivated) shitstrawhatsship tumblrs.





	1. Table of Contents

  * **Lap Dance (For Your Eyes Only)**
  * Tags: Usopp/Nami, implied NSFW, T Rating,
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Grinding || First Kiss**

  * Tags: Zoro/Sanji, Fluff, T Rating,
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Country of Constellations**

  * Tags: Zoro/Nami, Canon Typical Violence, T Rating,
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Tongue Tied**

  * Tags: Zoro & Luffy, Fluff, Comedy, Slight Illness, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Under the Influence**

  * Tags: Coby/Helmeppo, Canon Typical Violence, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Gross Human Relationships**

  * Tags: Law & Chopper, Usopp/Kaya, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Content Enough From Afar**

  * Tags: Ace/Shanks, Pining, Unrequited Love, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**He Said Shut Up & Dance With Me**

  * Tags: Luffy/Nami, Luffy & Nami, Fluff, Implied Angst, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Tony-Tony Chopper: The First Movie**

  * Tags: No Relationship, Chopper-centric, Plot, T Rating
  * Requested by Tumblr user zjstars



**Waiting**

  * Tags: Law & Luffy, Lufy/Law, Fake Dating, T Rating,
  * Requested by Tumblr user livinforluffy



**Not What You Said Last Night**

  * Tags: Usopp/Sanji, Implied NSFW, Morning After Fic, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Sleepy**

  * Tags: Smoker & Luffy/Law, Luffy & Everyone, Robin/Nami, Hugs, Polyamory, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Seeing Red**

  * Marco/Luffy, Swearing, Sexual References, Over Protective Ace, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**The Scent of Smoke is Like Friendship (There but Not seen)**

  * Tags: Smoker/Luffy, Outsider POV, Tashigi's POV, Angst, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**To Many Strings of Fate**

  * Tags: Luffy & Everyone, Luffy & Hancock/Law, Zoro/Sanji/Nami, aro-ace!Luffy, Swearing, Sexual References, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Unprofessional**

  * Tags: Nami/Tashigi, Makeout Fic, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**It Totally Counts as a Date**

  * Tags: Smoker/Luffy, Nami/Tashigi, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Got to Complain to Someone**

  * Tags: Zoro/Tashigi, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Against Authority's Advice**

  * Tags: Smoker/Hina/Tashigi, Swearing, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**In Which Luffy is Petty**

  * Tags: Law/Zoro/Luffy, Hugs, Lovers Bickering, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Nopes Out of That One**

  * Tags: Ace/Law, Nami/Tashigi, Smoker/Luffy, Nudity, Implied NSFW, Alcohol, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**One-Sided**

  * Tags: Coby/Luffy, One-Sided Love, Unrequited Love, Pininh, Unrequited Pining, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Super Casual Date**

  * ~~~~Tags: Ace/Nami, Sabo/Nojiko, Fluff and Angst, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Crushing**

  * Tags: Smoker/Luffy, Coby/Luffy, Unrequited Love, Angst, Vent Fic, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Tactile**

  * Tags: Brook & Franky, Light Angst, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Parenthood Wasn't What They Said It Would Be**

  * Tags: Corazon/Belle-mère, Fluff, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Don't Mess with Us**

  * Tags: NLN Siblings, Bullying,  Slight Violence, Canon Typical Violence, T Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Inject Caffeine Straight Into My Eyes**

  * Tags: Monster Trio, Ambiguous Relationship, Relationship Open to Interpretation, Alternate Universe - College, Swearing, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Once Upon a Time**

  * Tags: Usopp/Kaya, Kohza/Vivi, Post Canon, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Restaurant**

  * Tags: Sanji/Luffy, Alternate Universe - Modern, Autistic Character, Ableism, Inaccuracies, T Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Unanswered Questions**

  * Tags: Smoker/Law, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder**

  * Tags: Coby/Luffy, Light Angst, Friendship, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Basorexia**  

  * Tags: Corazon/Bellemere, Fluff, G Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Bachelors & Spinsters (B&S)**

  * Tags: ASL Brothers & NLN Siblings, Alternaue Universe - Canon Divergence, Alcohol, Reference to Revreational Drug Use, Swearing, Sexual References, T Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Sex on the Beach (the Cocktail, Of Course)**

  * Tags: Sanji/Nami, Alternate Universe - Bar, Alternate Universe - Modern, Sexual References, Alcohol, T Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Here Comes a Thought**

  * Tags: Nami/Tashigi, Angst, Canon Typical Violence, T Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Coarse Like the Desert | Soft Like Silks**

  * Tags: Kohza/Vivi, Fluff, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Wanted Posters**

  * Tags: Smoker/Luffy, G Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**A Really Cool Feather**

  * Tags: Marco/Luffy, Fluff, G Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**He Was Safety**

  * Tags: Usopp/Kaya, Fluff and Angst, G Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Away in the Night**

  * Tags: Sabo/Koala, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Fluff, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous  



**No Use Worrying**

  * Tags: Smoker/Luffy, Pre-Slash, Swearing, G Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Bras 'N' Things**

  * Tags: Hina/Tashigi, Alternate Universe - Modern, Humour, T Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**The Empress' Speech**

  * Tags: Robin/Hancock, G Rating
  * Requestsd by Anonymous 



**Burning**

  * Tags: Ace/Sanji, Angst, Character Death, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



  **Duologue Only**

  * Tags: Sanji/Luffy, Humour, Swearing, T Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Tongue**

  * Tags: Smoker/Luffy, Makeout Fic, T Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Savouring Domesticity**  

  * Tags: Zoro/Tashigi, Domestic, Fluff, G Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**What Are You, 12?**

  * Tags: Bonney/Perona, Fluff, Humour, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Honey, We're All Gonna Die**

  * Tags: Shanks/Makino, Fluff, Discussions of Death, G Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**What Are the Chances?**

  * Smoker/Ace/Law, Outsider POV, Luffy's POV, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Like a Bride to Husband**

  * Tags: Marco/Luffy, Canon Compliant, Light Angst, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**The Happy Lie**

  * Tags: Smoker/Luffy, Light Angst, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Staring Blankly at Bad Jokes**

  * Tags: Usopp/Kaya, Alternate Universe - Modern, Blind Character, Inaccuracies, Humour, G Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**A Story of Heritage**

  * Tags: Usopp/Robin, Character Study, G Rating
  * Requested by Tumblr User regirockerinspace 



**Server and Customer**

  * Tags: Smoker/Luffy, Alternate Universe - Modern, Alcohol, Swearing, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**The Sky is Green**

  * Tags: Nami/Tashigi, Alternate Universe - Soul Mates, Canon Compliant, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Kingly**

  * Tags: Sanji/Luffy, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Sexual References, Canon Typical Violence, T Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**When I Was Your Age**

  * Tags: Ace/Law, G Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Faulty**

  * Tags: Smoker/Luffy, Luffy & Everyone, Alternate Universe - Soul Mates, Canon Compliant, G Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Love is Like a Punch to the Face**

  * Tags: Smoker/Luffy, Alternate Universe - Soul Mates, Swearing, Canon Typical Violence, T Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Chubby Cheeks**

  * Tags: Helmeppo/Coby, Fluff, G Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Baby on Board**

  * Tags: Smoker/Luffy, Alternate Universe - Modern, G Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**The Coffee Table**

  * Tags: Zoro/Sanji/Luffy, Sexual References, Sexual Hunour, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Cooking with Class**

  * Tags: Sanji/Nami/Ace, Alternate Universe - High School, G Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**College Students, Am I Right?**

  * Tags: Sanji/Luffy, Alternate Universe - University, Swearing, Sexual Reference, References to STIs, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Double Dating Means Double the Trouble**

  * Tags: Ace/Tashigi, Smoker/Luffy, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Ashes?**

  * Tags: Ace/Nami, Arlong/Nami, Alternate Universe - Modern, Abusive Relationship, T Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Oops**

  * Tags: Usopp/Robin, Nudity, T Rating 
  * Reauested by Anonymous 



**Graffiti**

  * Tags: Sabo/Koala, Alternate Universe - Modern, Trans Male Character, Implied Transphobia, References to Cissexism, Swearing, Sexual  References, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Not So Accidental Accident**

  * Tags: Ace/Bonney, Alternate Universe - Modern, Swearing, T Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**A Broken Nose**

  * Tags: Usopp/Kaya, Alternate Universe - Modern, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Bad Decisions Were Made**

  * Zoro/Luffy/Sanji, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Sprinkles the Chihuahua**

  * Tags: Law/Bonney, Alternate Universe - Modern, Swearing, Sexual References, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Protest**

  * Tags: Zoro/Perona, Alternate Universe - University, Disabled Character, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Idiots Don't Float (Unfortunately)**

  * Tags: Zoro/Luffy/Law, Canon  Compliant, Drowning, Swearing, T Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**When the Squad Hits the Mall**

  * Marco/Luffy, Izo & Haruta & Luffy, Alternate Universe - Modern, Nonbinary Characters, Genderqueer Character
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**This Seemed Cuter in My Head**

  * Tags: Hancock/Robin/Hina, Fluff, G Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Property Party**

  * Tags: Zoro/Sanji/Nami, Alternate Universe - Modern,  Alcohol, T Rating 
  * Requested by two Anonymous Tumblr Users



**Beaten, Bruised, and Bloody**

  * Tags: Sanji/Nami/Usopp, Canon Typical Violence, Canon Typical Injuries, T Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Luffy the Friendly Ghost**

  * Tags: Smoker/Tashigi/Luffy, Alternate Universe - Modern, Yōkai, Swearing T Rating 
  * Requested by Anonymous 



**Cuz Baby, It’s Do or Die**

  * Tags: Smoker/Luffy, Fire, Canon Compliant, Canon Typical Violence, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Don’t Let Me Die**

  * Tags: Garp & Gold Roger, Garp/Gold Roger, Ambiguous Relationship, Canon Complaint, Character Death, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Stuck**

  * Tags: Sanji & Luffy, Fluff, Canon Complaint, G Rating
  * Requested by Tumblr user lauri3n



**Sister**

  * Tags: Sanji & Reiju, Canon Complaint, Slight Pre-Canon, Angst, T Rating
  * Requested by Tumblr user redorangespiderpaulpaulsorrn



**Midnight Moping**

  * Tags: Law & Penguin, Canon Complaint, Slight Pre-Canon, Angst, G Rating
  * Requested by Tumblr user axel-the-female



**A Feeling of Family**

  * Tags: Law & Corazon, Canon Complaint, Slight Pre-Canon, Angst, G Rating
  * Requested by Tumblr user m1cky386



**Sit in My Lap**

  * Tags: Sabo/Reader, Canon Complaint, Slight Pre-Canon, Male Reader, Fluff, Second Person, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**A Sweet and Hopeful Declaration**

  * Tags: Sabo/Koala, Canon Complaint, Fluff, G Rating
  * Requested by Tumblr user apples-oranges-lemons



**Nuisance**

  * Tags: Zoro/Nami, Canon Complaint, Fluff, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**‘Bite Me’ | ‘If You Insist’**

  * Tags: Law/Luffy, Canon Complaint, Fluff, T Rating
  * Requested by Tumblr User kaizokunohime



**Did you buy me… lingerie?**

  * Tags: Ace/Marco, Canon Complaint, Sexual References, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Laundry Day Shenanigans**

  * Tags: Nami & Luffy, Canon Complaint, Fluff, G Rating
  * Requested by Tumblr User empresskira



**Between a Rock and a Hard Place**

  * Tags: Sanji & Zoro, Canon Complaint, G Rating
  * Requested by Tumblr user lauri3n



**I Need You to Fake Date Me**

  * Tags: Marco/Sabo, Alternate Universe – College, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Please Don’t Leave Me**

  * Tags: Ace/Marco, Canon Complaint, Angst, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Sandwiched**

  * Tags: Zoro/Law/Luffy, Making Out, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Bloody Idiots**

  * Tags: Nami/Sanji, Canon Compliant, Blood/Injury, Canon Typical Violence, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Alabasta will have an heir**

  * Tags: Kohza/Vivi, Future Fic, Canon Compliant, Illness, Pregnancy, Fluff, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Against A Wall**

  * Tags: Sabo/Koala, Canon Compliant, Fluff, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Still Young (the Morning After)**

  * Tags: Smoker Law, Implied NSFW, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**The domestic bliss was nice for the few minutes it lasted.**

  * Tags: Corazon/Bellemere, Fluff, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Stale breath when you wake up**

  * Tags: Corazon/Bellemere, Fluff, Implied NSFW, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Vigilante**

  * Tags: Ace/Law, Alternate Universe – Superheroes, Character Death, Canon Typical Violence, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Don’t Wake Me Up (That’s When the Dream Ends)**

  * Tags: Strawhat Pirates, Canon Compliant, Future Fic, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**What’s Cooking Good Looking?**

  * Tags: Corazon/Bellemere, Canon Divergent, Fluff, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Time Changes People**

  * Tags: Arlong/Robin, Robin & Strawhat Pirates, Canon Compliant, Canon Typical Violence, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Sick of the Rain**

  * Tags: Ace & Marco, Canon Complaint, Sick Fic, Swearing, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Victim or Perpetrator**

  * Tags: Ace/Law, Alternate Universe – Cyberpunk, Canon Typical Violence, Alcohol, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Tashigi’s Office**

  * Tags: Nami/Tashigi,
  * Requested by Anonymous



**It’s All Subjective Beneath God’s Stars**

  * Tags: Smoker/Luffy, Major Character Death, Angst, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Wishful Thinking**

  * Tags: Nami/Tashigi, Slight Angst, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Can You Die?**

  * Tags: Bonney/Perona, Discussion of Death, Alcohol, T Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous



**Admiration (And A Little Bit More)**

  * Tags: Smoker/Luffy, G Rating
  * Requested by Anonymous




	2. Lap Dance (For Your Eyes Only)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nami likes to tease Usopp when they're alone.

   There was something about when they were alone that emotions erupted. There was a look, in Nami’s eyes, that was vivacious and flirtatious but for Usopp and for Usopp alone. Yes, their chemistry was that of friends and of fools but there was something aflame beneath it all. Passion, care, and sometimes – rarely – there was something else: lust.

   Nami swayed her hips, dancing to music that didn’t exist and yet somehow, Usopp heard it. He heard clearly and concisely. The rhythm her body conveyed silently. He was impressed. Her skirt spiralled out from around her waist in yellow pleats. The fabric rode up, slightly, and gave a pale impression of her upper thighs yet it hit Usopp hard.

   His eyes wandered up from her long legs. She had a deviant smile and a glint in her amber eyes. A smirk. A tease. Usopp licked his lips. He relished it; seeing the secret sides of his girlfriend.

   She laughed. A strange medium between sincere and false. Usopp didn’t mind though. He liked it. He really liked it.

   ‘Care to join me?’ Nami asked, sultry and she extended her hand gracefully towards Usopp.

   He stammered carelessly: tongue-tied.


	3. Grinding || First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji considers the pros and cons of weaponry versus going without.

   The best part about using hand-to-hand combat over weapons was that, there was less maintenance involved; or so Sanji had decided. It was much easier to stretch out a body and treat it right by eating the right foods and whatnot than having the grind swords or keep brass knuckles polish and whatnot.

   Orange sparks flew off of Zoro’s swords in wild directions. Completely and utterly unpredictable. Zoro paused, a moment, and he set down his sword. He wiped sweat off his forehead and Sanji didn’t want to admit it but he was absolutely entranced. Zoro had a bulky and muscular physique: it was very easy to stare for far too long. Sanji couldn’t help but admire Zoro’s strong, vast forearms and overall butch appearance; and somehow, time seemed to slow as Zoro took the back of his hand and wiped his forehead.

   Sanji bit into his lip and watched far too intently than he should have.

   ‘What’re you staring at, Curly Cook?’ Zoro asked.

   Fuck, he caught me! Sanji thought and he slammed his hand, cigarette perched between his fingers, into the wooden deck. The cigarette was snuffed with a smoke ridden hiss. Sanji recoiled awkwardly; not having meant to do that and now he looked utterly foolish. Zoro coked an eyebrow.

   ‘What was that about? Weirdo…’ Zoro muttered as he picked up his sword again.

   ‘Wait.’ Sanji said weakly.

   Zoro huffed. ‘Make it quick.’

   Sanji smirked and he took the challenge. It had to be the heat - it was too bloody hot out here – because Sanji was feeling very baselessly emboldened. He leaned in and grabbed the scruffy neck of Zoro’s shirt.

   With all the grace of a Casanova, Sanji pressed a cheeky kiss unto Zoro’s lips. He rolled his eyes but kissed back. He had to admit: Sanji had good technique. Zoro, however?

   Zoro left much to be desired but Sanji was confident he could teach him to kiss properly, after all this was only their first kiss.


	4. Country of Constellations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nami and Zoro team up to take back the castle.

   The night air was thick with smog and smoke. Fires raged in the distance and black smoke clotted out most the sky. It was suffocating. Horrible, terrible, but the Strawhat Pirates had to rage on. Once more, they had gotten themselves interweaved through happenstance with a country’s internal affairs which had amounted to explosive violence. Just their luck, right?

   That was always their story, right?

   No, not this time. This time the stakes seemed higher. The losses seemed great. It didn’t even sound dramatic – not even from Usopp – that the apocalypse was nigh: complete and total destruction of this tiny country ravaged by too many factors to count.

   Could the Strawhat Pirates come through once more? Like they had for Vivi? Like they had for Conis? Like they had for Shirahoshi? Like they had for Rebecca?

   They hoped so. They always had hope.

   The crew was in shambles. Bloody, ragged, out of breath and to the brink of exhaustion but they battled their own bodies and the bodies of evil-doers around them. It was the best they could do. They were beyond the best they could do.

   Nami and Zoro had ended up at the Palace’s ballroom. They were surrounded by the Royal Guard no longer Royal, no longer loyal. They breathed heavily, glaring, and they tried to assess the situation but it was hard to think with so much noise and adrenaline. They could barely hear themselves think.

   So, they had to rely on each other.

   ‘Na-Nami, you can hear me right?’ Zoro asked; his face was in shreds.

   ‘Of course I can.’ Nami replied.

   It was funny. They couldn’t hear themselves but they could hear each other. Their hearts and souls were more attune to each other than itself. Love could do wonderfully bizarre things in a pinch; in a crisis.

   ‘Then let’s dance.’ Zoro laughed with a bloodthirsty grin. ‘This is the ballroom after all.’

   ‘I only tango, you know.’ Nami flirted back as she wiped blood and dirt off of her face.

   Intertwined with absolute violence, the two were able to banter nonetheless as they pummelled mercilessly through the enemy.

   ‘Sounds good.’ Zoro replied. ‘I got two left feet though.’

   ‘Don’t worry, I’ll teach you.’ Nami replied as she swung her Clima Tact around bluntly; clouds going here, there, and everywhere.

   An hour passed – but it felt like a minute – and already, much had changed. Here, between them, they had decimated the Royal Guard that had assaulted them. Outside? The skies were clearing.

   Zoro smirked. ‘Luffy?’

   ‘Luffy.’ Nami affirmed.

   The two wandered to the huge, gaping window that was once a perfect arc, now just a hole: no glass, no curtains, no nothing.

   ‘They call it the Country of Constellations for a reason.’ Nami said as she came close. The floor close to the hole crumbled underneath her sandals. She looked up and was entranced. She smiled earnestly and seemed revived.

   She gazed at the stars. They were beautiful. So beautiful. Clear and crisp. Nami had never seen such clarity of constellations. She felt blessed to be here. If only there hadn’t been so much hatred and violence plaguing the lands then, maybe, she could fully enjoy it.

   Zoro couldn’t appreciate the stars. For him?

   There was something much more beautiful – something much terrestrial – standing beside him. And he couldn’t take his eyes off of her: bathed in blood and starlight. Her eyes twinkling. She was grander than any constellation.

   ‘Étoile Filante, we shall save you, for the sake of Princess Stella.’ Nami murmured.

   ‘Y-Yeah, we will.’ Zoro mumbled awkwardly. He sheathed his swords and his hand wandered to Nami’s hand. Their fingers interlocked naturally.


	5. Tongue-Tied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy swallowed a bee.

   _A-Are you serious_?! Zoro thought to himself as his eyes bugged and shoulders squared. His fingers twitched.

   ‘Zohro.’ Luffy complained. ‘Aye ayte a buh.’

   Luffy face was very much puffed up. His tongue had grown fat and bumpy. His forehead was almost blue. Zoro couldn’t even see Luffy’s eyes, to be honest. He did, however, seem very ashamed of himself. Zoro didn’t need eyes to realise that.

   ‘Aye ayte a buh.’ Luffy complained again.

   ‘A what?’ Zoro teased.

   ‘A buh!’

   ‘Let’s find Chopper. I’m sure he can deal with all this.’ Zoro sighed.

   ‘Awwight.’ Luffy grumbled and he crossed his arms.

   Zoro let Luffy march past him but a second later, he face-planted. It was like his legs had turned to jelly. A cloud of dirt rose up around Luffy. He stuck his arm out of the mound he had created and gave Zoro the thumbs up nonetheless.

   ‘’M f’n.’ he mumbled; now with a mouth full of dirt and grass; not just his swollen tongue and cheeks. Zoro was impressed though. In such a state, it should not have been possible for anyone to speak but Luffy was always good at doing the impossible. And, perhaps, Zoro himself should not make that judgement either since he could communicate flawlessly with a sword’s grip in his mouth.

   Somehow, Zoro suspects, it was not a bee Luffy had eaten. Chopper would soon be the judge of that.


	6. Under the Influence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coby and Helmeppo avoid their first mistake as fully fledged Marines.

   It was the thrilling conclusion of their first big mission under Garp’s tutoring and without his guidance. He had let his two little protégés go out and fight without him. He wasn’t spoon feeding them anymore. It was time for them to get a taste of the real world.

   The mission had been simple. Arrest one (1) petty criminal. Helmeppo and Coby had taken bigger criminals that this bastard with Garp. It felt demeaning but Garp wanted to know they could operate without him. He hadn’t been the toughest on them after all; a strange restraint on their relationship - acting as though he was worried to repeat past mistakes.

   What mistakes?

   It didn’t matter.

   All that mattered was that the pair had been successful. In their pristine uniforms, they had cornered a minor thief - B List at best - and arrested him but there was a strange quirk of events wherein the two Marines and their prey were alone and filled with adrenaline.

   Helmeppo had had the bastard by his neck. Blood pumped rapidly through him as he breathed shallowly. Adrenaline could get a man drunker than liquor; or at least, that’s what Coby hopes because a moment of weakness and learned cruelty almost followed.

   ‘Those who break the law are punished. We are the law.’ Helmeppo growled and he went to do something terrible.

   Fortunately – or unfortunately – Coby stopped him. With a dignified expression and serenity in his hands, he held onto Helmeppo’s shoulder and yanked him backwards; only enough so Helmeppo’s eyes could meet Coby’s steely conviction.

   ‘No, Helmeppo. We are not the law. We are merely its followers. It’s not up to us to decide who lives and who dies.’ he stated firmly. ‘Don’t you want Garp to proud of us?’

   Helmeppo weakened. He was defeated effortlessly.

   ‘Your right, Coby.’ he admitted.


	7. Gross Human Relationships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Law and Chopper have a bitch fest about human relationships.

   ‘Law.’ Chopper piped up.

   ‘Yeah?’ he replied, vaguely interested in the conversation about to unfold. He would much have preferred the companionable silence as they both read from the same book.

   Chopper looked up and bumped Law’s chin with his hat as he had been sitting in Law’s lap.

   ‘Do you need to pee?’ Law asked as Chopper continued to get restless.

   ‘No! I just want your opinion: puppy love? Where are you on the topic?’ Chopper asked.

   ‘Quite frankly, I am disgusted by most forms of human relationships that are built on affection rather than practical gain.’ Law replied.

   ‘Thank goodness! It’s just, Usopp got a letter from Kaya and I don’t know who Kaya is but she’s made Usopp super gross lately and I can’t complain about how gross Usopp is being because of her to Nami because she thinks it’s “sweet” same for Sanji and I’m Usopp’s friend so obviously I can’t complain about his behaviour to him; that would just be rude. Luffy doesn’t care; same for Zoro but he’s happy Usopp is getting “action; even if it is only in paper” - whatever that means. Robin and Franky and Brook all think I’m being cynical or jealous or that. So yeah.’ Chopper ranted.

   ‘Go ahead, bitch away about how gross human relationships are.’ Law encouraged with a wry smile.

   What an odd little creature, he thought to himself as Chopper enthusiastically took his invitation to complain about puppy love.


	8. Content Enough from Afar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ace is a sad sack at a party and Marco attempts to be a Bro™

   Ace sighed wistfully. He sprawled out over the counter and gazed dreamily into the distance; just beyond where the object of his desires sang and dance; almost like a muppet because of how deeply immersed into fantasy Ace was feeling. Nothing seemed real with his blank gaze as he tried to watch reality.

   He sighed. Again. Slowly he reached for his mug of frothy ale. He drank and not once did he remove his gaze from Shanks; even though he almost missed his mouth as he drank his ale.

   ‘Your pathetic, honestly.’ Marco announced upon his arrival at the bar. He sat down noisily next to Ace and Ace barely registered his presence.

   ‘I know.’ Ace replied after far too long a pause.

   ‘Where’s the usual go-getter I know? Chasing skirts, kissing beards. What’s different about him? So what if Shanks is one of the Four? Your Portgas D. Ace.’ Marco encouraged.

   ‘I’m also Luffy’s brother. Shanks wouldn’t go for me knowing that. He’d say I’m too young; too akin to a nephew or a son.’ Ace lamented.

   ‘You don’t know unless you ask him.’ Marco pointed out.

   ‘Don’t have to.’ Ace shrugged as he put down his mug.

   ‘Then be a sad sack; miss out on a bitching party.’ Marco spat.

   ‘I am completely content, sitting here, a secret admirer.’ Ace replied; his voice full of resignation and acceptance.


	9. He Said Shut Up & Dance with Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy and Nami celebrate Cocoyashi Village's freedom.

   Cocoyashi Village hadn’t been this alive in a decade. And now, even as everyone was on the brink of exhaustion and passing out where they stood because they had eaten too much, drunken too much, celebrated too much, lived too much, it had still never been more alive.

   Even though she was drunk, bleary eyed and thinking far too much, Nami herself hadn’t felt so genuine and good in a decade. She couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t believe Luffy.

   He was on the dance floor and he caught Nami’s gaze. His smile continued to widen upon catching her attention.

   ‘C’mon Nami, let’s dance!’

   He yelled out, unabashed, not even thinking that he might be too hurt to move - that Nami might be too hurt too move.

   Nami got to her feet anyway. She was fine. Probably fine. Just so long as she didn’t think too much she would be fine.

   Luffy grabbed her hands gleefully and roughly swung her around. Nami squealed, unafraid although surprised. She laughed raucously: truly. And Luffy loved it. He didn’t even think she was capable of such an honest noise after so many long years of tears and deceit. He was absolutely delighted for her.

   Together, they danced a crazed, jolly dance. They twisted their hips and tugged on each other’s hands. Their clothes whipped about and their mouths flapped. It was great fun: the last dance in Cocoyashi Village.


	10. Tony-Tony Chopper: the First Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all who wander are lost but Chopper sure as h*ck is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this scenario, imagine Pokémon the First Movie except replace Pokémon Trainers with Pirates and most Pokémon with just your usual One Piece style monsters.

   Chopper had been separated from the group. He accidentally took a wrong turn when everybody went to grab Zoro from taking a wrong turn. This castle sure was big. And red. And ancient but Chopper wasn’t scared because upon the Strawhat Pirate’s immediate arrival, they were informed that all paths looped back to the main hall and that as guests, they had special privileges.

   So yeah, Chopper wasn’t scared. Nope… not at… all.

   He padded through cob webbed halls. He could only hear the sound of his own hooves as his mind raced. He really wished that he was with the others. There was something seriously strange about this whole arrangement. The Strawhat Pirates weren’t usually guests anywhere and, on top of that, they had also been informed that the Heart Pirates had already arrived. Apparently, both were early.

   Chopper hoped he would run into Law sometime soon. That would make everything a lot… less… nerve-wracking.

   Chopper, after walking panickily for who knows how long in suffocating silence, was soon confronted by a door. He grinned and breathed a sigh of relief.

   This must be the main hall I was told about, he thought to himself as he reached up best he could to get the iron knocker. With a little bit of oomph! He was soon able to go inside but the room he found was not the room he was looking for.

   This room was far, far stranger and it utterly terrified Chopper but, across its dimly lit intererior, he saw another door. He decided to risk it.

   He carefully padded into the room; as though afraid to disturb the dust that had settled over the years. But, as he stepped foot in the room, the lights immediately came on. They were fluorescent and harsh: didn’t match the Gothic aesthetic of the remainder of the castle. Yes, there was definitely something odd about it and furthermore, under the light, Chopper realised this room was perfectly spotless and it even smelt bleached; clinical.

   He turned his head and he found that lining the room were all sorts of gears and buckles and metallic boxes all linked into one, as well as some sort of machine that allowed moving pictures and a bunch of plastic letters attached to some of its hardware. It was bizarre.

   And it beckoned him with an unnatural voice and flashing black words against a cyan screen: ‘Enter. Enter. Enter.’

   If only to shut it up, Chopper approached it and he scanned the plastic squares with different letters. He’d never seen anything like it. Thankfully, there was a button for “Enter”.

   Chopper decided to press the button.

   ‘Operation initialised.’ the machine announced. A jarring noise followed and one of the boxes opened. A sterilised tray and a conveyor belt revealed inside of it.

   The machine spoke again: ‘Input DNA?’

   ‘DNA? Why could it possibly need that?’ Chopper asked himself.

   Chopper was suspicious, but curious. He walked over to the box. He couldn’t quite reach so he shifted into his more “human” form and from here, he was able to put to put a few loose hairs onto the tray.

   The box snapped shut fast and Chopper did, for five minutes, have his arm stuck in there but he managed to escape it. With that, the machine began to process it. It rattled all sorts of facts about Chopper but most of which it told Chopper was that he was unprecedented. The machine passed the box into the next room so Chopper excitedly followed it.

   In the second room, there were a lot of glass cases with amorphous liquids suspended in them. It was highly unsettling. Chopper could have sworn most of the amorphous liquids had eyes and mouths… moving…. As though begging for him to stop – or, perhaps, something else to stop.

   The machine was noisy here and there was snaps and cracks and pops and hisses and it was terrifying. Every noise the machine made came from within the box and it sounded so tortured. There was a pause.

   Was the experiment… a failure? Chopper pondered but apparently not, the box continued on and it moved into a third room, so Chopper passed through another heavy door.

   And, in the third room, there were empty cages. All sorts of sizes but all tough enough looking to contain anything. It unsettled Chopper.

   The machine powered down as the small box tumbled into a larger box; far taller than Chopper in his “human” form. Steam hissed out from underneath the iron door and Chopper was hesitant to approach it but he wanted to see what was inside. What was the purpose of the machines?

   Despite its height and weight, the door was exceptionally easy to open. It swung out lazily and more steam escaped.

   ‘Hello.’

   A voice so familiar it was his own greeted Chopper and he could make out a figure in the midst of the steam. He waited a moment and it was gone, dissipated, and revealed a body so familiar that it was like his own: antlers, a hat, a chubby body, skinny limps, hooves.

   Fur was a deeper colour – more chocolatey and it had strange, black stripes – and the creature’s clothes were a different colour palette but that blue nose was utterly unmistakeable.

   ‘Hello.’ Chopper replied.

   ‘My name is Tony-Tony Chopper. I have a bounty of fifty berries. It is good to meet you.’

   And now, Chopper must scream.

   The clone – it was undoubtedly a clone – screamed back: ‘I’m sorry! Does my bounty scare you?’

   ‘No, I’, Tony-Tony Chopper.’ Chopper replied, exasperated and petrified.

   ‘Huh?’ Clone Chopper tilted his head; to the right.

   Chopper furrowed his eyebrows. He put his right hand up so Clone Chopper put up his left. They attempted to “mirror” each other but it failed. Clone Chopper insisted to go right when Chopper went left; left when Chopper went right. It was an interesting note.


	11. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy and Law have an odd relationship; the details of which they are not quite ready to share with their crews.

   ‘I don’t like lying to my crew.’ Luffy admitted.

   ‘It was your idea.’ Law replied.

   ‘I panicked. I didn’t know how to tell them what I was really thinking.’ Luffy said. ‘Why didn’t you just… deny it or whatever?’

   Luffy fidgeted with his fingers. Law shrugged. He didn’t seem to have expected such a question from Luffy.

   ‘I don’t know.’ He confessed.

   ‘Bonehead.’ Luffy muttered.

   ‘I guess, the best thing we can do is wait out the initial honeymoon phase and hope for the best.’ Law added.

   Last week, the Strawhat Pirates had asked – interrogated more like – Luffy and Law about their special relationship. They weren’t dating. Now, a week later, they still weren’t dating but they were fake dating.

   Luffy was aromantic.

   As was Law.

   Neither of their crew’s new that so their crews assumed the reason their captains were sneaking about and behaving so fondly and completely and utterly un-Alliance-like fashion was because they were dating. It was a natural assumption. Law didn’t blame them as aromanticism was such an uncommon orientation, that he himself wouldn’t have suspected Luffy as being the same as him that way so things had gotten complicated because of their own misunderstandings about each other.

   ‘I feel… weird.’ Luffy pouted.

   ‘Fair enough.’ Law agreed; an even voice. Neither here nor there. ‘We’ll just have to wait for the right time to fix this mess we made.’

   ‘Bonehead.’ Luffy muttered again. ‘No, wait… I’m a bonehead.’


	12. Not What You Said Last Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usopp teased Sanji over something he had said earlier.

   Usopp smirked and closed his eyes. He jaunted his shoulders and flaunted his hips. He could hear the embarrassed hiss of Sanji’s breath escaping his lips. It made him swell with pride.

    ‘You… are not wearing that.’ Sanji said and he hid his face in his hands. It made it all the more delicious to Usopp.

   ‘Why not? I look.. great.’ Usopp said and he spun on his heel. His shirt – his only clothing, it ought to be noted – spun with him.

   ‘At least button it up.’ Sanji said and Usopp leaned down.

   ‘Not. What. You. Said. Last. Night.’ Usopp teased between exaggerated breaths.

   Heat radiated off of Sanji as his face went scarlet. He further buried his head in his hands. Usopp couldn’t help himself; not anymore so he let out a great, big-bellied laugh until his lips went numb and tears were in the corners of his eyes.

   ‘It’s a hideous shirt.’ Sanji muttered.

   ‘But it is your hideous shirt.’ Usopp pointed out.

   Sanji groaned incoherently. He liked that hideous shirt though. On him. And maybe on Usopp but not right now!

   He should definitely burn that shirt now.

   Which would be a shame actually. It was unique to that store Sanji had bought it from. The only one of its kind: pink with green detailing reminiscent of vines. It had some sentimental value too.

   ‘Just put some clothes on.’ Sanji growled and he picked up Usopp’s pants. He bunched them and hurled them at Usopp’s face.

   ‘Not. What. You. Said. Last. Night.’ Usopp screeched.


	13. Sleepy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy has a very cuddly bedtime routine and everyone gets involved one way or another.

   It had been absolute cluster of problem after problem today and tomorrow wasn’t looking all that crash hot either. Although, “tomorrow” ought to be taken in the loosest sense of the word as “tomorrow” was really three hours today.

   Having the Strawhat Pirates and Heart Pirates team up was usual given their very well-known alliance. Putting the G-5 into the mix… yes, that is somewhat odd and through all the hullaballoo of today – er, yesterday.

   Tashigi was rounding everybody up. The Thousand Sunny Go was foreign territory and she didn’t trust that sunflower on the figurehead but everyone was getting comfortable. As much as she hated it, she did feel secure on board. Even though it meant she would have to put up with overly friendly nicknames between her men and Strawhat’s crew. Not to mention, she would have to put up with that arrogant asshole Zoro. At least Nami was an absolute delight to be around.  
Nami yawned and stretched out.

  'Before I forget, don’t question Luffy’s bedtime routine.’ She plopped down on the bed and patted the bed. ‘Robin, let’s share a bed since we have guests.’

   'If you insist.’ Robin giggled mutely.

   'What about Strawhat’s routine?’ Tashigi asked.

   'You’ll see in… five…four…three…two…’ Nami counted down.

   The door slammed open and Luffy bounded through. He plopped down on the bed with Nami and Robin. A brief cuddle pile ensued and Luffy soon gave up.

   'We have a very affectionate Captain.’ Robin explained. ‘Good night, Luffy.’

   'G’night, Robin.’ Luffy said and he got up, He saw Tashigi and gave her a great big hug too.

   Tashigi stiffened and Luffy noticed. He awkwardly backed away. ‘Sorry, should have warned you.’

   Tashigi glared daggers at Nami and Robin were amused by the situation. ‘I was warned just; not in a clear and concise manner.’

   'Well, g’night too you too, Swords Lady.’ Luffy said and he bounded off again.

   'I assume, he does that every… night?’ Tashigi asked.

  'Indeed.’ Robin replied.

   Nami pecked Robin’s cheek.

   'Good night, Robin. Good night, Tashigi.’ Nami said as she curled up under the covers. Down on the deck, Tashigi could hear Luffy’s rowdy footsteps. For someone off to bed, he still had plenty of energy. She didn’t know how she was going to cope. Then she had a horrifying realisation. She had no idea how Smoker was going to cope.

   As it would turn out, Smoker would cope just fine. Luffy came barrelling into the men’s quarters and hugged good night to his crew; the G-5 had yet to receive some of Luffy’s affections as they were all camped out in the kitchen and surrounding areas wherein Luffy was not allowed to visit after hours so he didn’t eat through their food stock.

   'Good night, Smokey.’ Luffy chuckled as he hugged Smoker around his waist. The height difference was real. He even had to stretch his arms to make sure it was a proper, big hug.

  'Alright, g’night.’ Smoker replied: passively accepting the eccentricities of Luffy and even ruffled Luffy’s mop of black hair.

   'Where’s my hug?’ Law said in faux mockery as he walked in from the connecting room; probably having just brushed his teeth or something.

  'In a minute. Lemme just hug, Smokey a lil longer, Tra-guy.’ Luffy replied and Smoker still held himself awkwardly; uncomfortable with the realisation that Luffy was more or less snuggling his front.

   Luffy eventually uncoiled his rubbery arms from around him and moved onto Law wherein Smoker realised he definitely got the better of this situation; unless Law actively sought out this kind of behaviour from Luffy in which he doesn’t not want to be filled in with the details.

   Law wasn’t quite hugging Luffy back but he had his hand on Luffy’s shoulder and Luffy had his head on the crook between Law’s neck and shoulder. He hugged tightly and even added a giggly smooch on Law’s jawline to top it off.

   'Rack off Luffy, some of us’re tryin’ to sleep!’ Usopp roused and Luffy unwrapped himself from Law’s front.

   Smoker had completely forgotten that there were four others’ in the room. He was surprised they could deal with this… shenanigans; or maybe they were just that tired.

   'Love you too, Usopp! Good night!’ Luffy retorted back, snarky. But having hugged, Luffy was satisfied and he toddled off to find his hammock amongst the others. Smoker sighed, gave up, and found his own bedding in the men’s quarters. Law turned the lights off soon after.


	14. Seeing Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ace was not aware that his pure and innocent baby brother was dating his sleazy best friend. An overreaction ensues.

   And in that moment, Ace felt his heart break. He’d never felt more betrayed as his jaw slackened and he couldn’t rip his gaze away from such an obscene, profane act of public affections.

   Normally, he was all for it. Hell, normally he added to public displays of affection but not today. Nope, nope, nope: not to-fucking-day. He’d never felt more attacked: that was his best friend… with his baby brother!

   They were smooching! On the lips! For a total of – Ace counted a moment – three seconds. Three seconds! That… was… horrendous; how dare Marco defile his pure and virtuous maiden baby brother – how dare he?!

   So, naturally, it was up to Ace to intervene and protect Luffy’s honour.

   He stomped over from the other side of the kitchen where the two were “goofing off” – making each other laugh, hugging, and more three second kisses interspersed between it all. How dare Marco?!

   'What on… earth!?’ Ace demanded.

   'Fuckin’… chill, Ace.’ Marco replied as he disobediently – purposely – kept his right arm across Luffy’s shoulder, hooking him there. He smirked.

   'I AM AN ETERNAL FLAME, BABY! What are you two doing?!’ Ace asked.

   'I believe the young’uns call it “flirting”.’ Marco replied.

  'Yep!’ Luffy chimed in.

  'B-But you – you two are my best friend and brother! Noooo; nopity-nope-nope. I’m having none of this. Thirty centimetres, you two!’ Ace crowed.

   'We’re both consenting adults; can’t trust us, eh? You’re best friend and you’re brother.’ Marco pointed out.

   'Don’t twist my words!’ Ace snapped.

   'Ace…’ Luffy whined. ‘You’re embarrassing me.’

   'Good! I’m your big brother! That’s what brothers do!’ Ace retorted.

   'Sabo wouldn’t.’ Luffy replied, snarky.

   'Leave him out of this; we both know he would be just as against this as I.’ Ace replied.

   'You and I both know, he’d be chill with it.’ Luffy replied.

   Ace went red-faced. He was absolutely right. Sabo wouldn’t care just so long as they were both consenting. He swallowed.

  'But I’m your big brother! I get worried!’ Ace yelled.

  'I wouldn’t do anything with Luff that I wouldn’t do in front of an eighty-year-old woman.’ Marco replied.

   'I saw you steal an eighty-year-old woman’s purse once.’ Ace replied.

   'Yeah, but it’s not like I had sex or something on front of her.’ Marco replied.

   'Whatever; just leave us alone. Just ‘cause your single and bitter.’ Luffy shrugged.

   The gasp from Ace that followed was not a human sound. Who taught Luffy to be so sassy? It was not Ace!

   A pause followed wherein nobody knew if they ought to say or do something but eventually, Marco broke it:

  'Oh… you broke him, Luff. Good. Maybe he’ll leave us alone.’  
That managed to revive Ace. He gestured wildly. ‘YOU TWO WIN THIS TIME BUT THIRTY CENTIMETRES!’

  'Don’t worry, Luff, I got thirty centimetres.’ Marco laughed with a wink.

   To say that Ace was a fiery red in the face after that would be an understatement.


	15. The Scent of Smoke is Like Friendship (There but Not Seen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tashigi has to ask the tough questions but has faith her best friend shall not misguide her. She trusts the friendship they share and cherish.

   There is never a good way to ask but it needs to be asked.

  Tashigi raised her head and her heart pounded. She knocked on the door and somehow, she could barely hear her knuckles hit the wood. A nervous sweat boiled on her skin. She bit her lower lip and waited for a response. She knocked again; just to be sure and she gripped her papers tighter. 

   She felt as though she had been banished from her office – their office in pursuit of the morning paper and some official forms. That’s when she had grown suspicious. Smoker never wanted to deal with the government paperwork that came with his job. It had always been her duty but today, he had made an active effort to care about bureaucratic protocol.

   There was still no response even though a minute had passed. Tashigi would know. She counted the seconds.

  'I’m coming in, Sir.’ Tashigi announced with a wavering voice; a wavering conviction.

   'Though she knew she needed to ask, she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to hear the answer.

   She came in through the oaky door and braved the smoke. Smoker was trying to conceal something as he was letting off black clouds but she squinted through the murky air and saw him fumbled with the Den-Den Mushi.

   'What are you hiding, Sir?’ Tashigi asked, heartbroken. She wanted to sound firm but instead, she sounded pathetic. The smoke assailed her lungs but she no longer cared. She’d long grown used to the stench on her, on him, on them: their office.

  'I’m sorry, Tashigi. It’s improper.’ Smoker grumbled. 

   'We’ve always been improper.’ Tashigi pointed out somberly as she stepped forward. ‘I have always been your right-hand woman. Please, God, don’t ever think that you have to hide things from you. I will forever walk by your side regardless. I may not always agree with your decisions but I will stand with you. I would walk through Hell for you.’

   'I know Tashigi.’ Smoker replied quietly. ‘But, I wanted to protect you. A stitch in time to save nine, if you will.’

   'Thank you but that is not necessary.’ Tashigi said. Resolute. Eyes drying.

   'I have taken Strawhat…’ Smoker’s voice trailed off and the smoke thickened.

   'Yes?’ Tashigi prompted.

   'As a lover.’

   That did not go in the direction Tashigi had expected; had prepared herself for. 

   'I see.’ she replied. She blinked. ‘I’m glad you could follow your heart. I’m sure it will prove useful in the long run; if not, I’m glad you could be honest with him, yourself… and me.’

   'Thank you, Tashigi.’

   The smoke lifted and that was a face that Smoker should have concealed: he looked leagues away from his usual rough and tough persona. But it was a face for Tashigi alone: one that reassured her that he did treasure her and their friendship.

   'I take it you don’t need the papers then?’ asked Tashigi.

   'Only to use as cigarette cases.’ Smoker replied with a wry wink.

   'Of course, Smoker.’


	16. Too Many Strings of Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy fails to explain his feelings and the crisscrossed and intricate sexual, romantic, and platonic relationships in the crew (and beyond) don't make it easy either.

    ‘Ugh, they’re arguing again.’ Nami whined as she plopped down at the table. Above deck everyone could hear the guests – Boa Hancock and Law – go at it. Again. They couldn’t be in the same room together without some sort of war or words erupting. No one even knows what they’re arguing about.

   Luffy stomped into the kitchen with a pouty face. ‘They’re arguing again.’ He announced; as though it were new news as he sat down, cross-legged, on a stool.

   'We can tell.’ Usopp muttered.

   'You look upset.’ Nami noted. ‘Do you know why they’re arguing.’

   'I don’t get it. Something about how Hammock doesn’t like being bitten on her shoulder? And then Tra-guy brought up how Hammock apparently hogs hugging me. It’s a mystery.’ Luffy sighed. ‘There was also stuff about “pulling out”.

   A stunned silence ensued and Luffy did not understand why. Although, silence was bit of an overestimate: the clanging of Sanji dropping a pan full of rice did echo through.

   'Luffy.’ Sanji piped up as he stepped away from the stove. ‘Are – Are Law and Hancock… dating?’

   Luffy tilted his head. ‘Is it dating if I’m involved?’ he asked.

   'Oh, my stars.’ Nami muttered. Her eyes widened like she had perceived the visage of Heaven and did not like what she had seen.

   'Yes?’ Sanji replied.

   'Then yeah, they’re dating and I’m there too.’ Luffy replied.

   'So, like, you’re dating… both of them?’ Usopp asked.

   'No.’ Luffy replied.

   'So why are you there too?’ Usopp asked.

   'I’m here with you guys… aren’t I? In a special way.’ Luffy replied.

   'Yeah, but you’re not dating us like I’m dating Zoro or Sanji.’ Nami added.

   Luffy frowned. His face went red. ‘But yeah… I’m like? Here too…’

   'You don’t make any sense.’ Usopp roused.

   'Fuck this, I’m getting Robin. I’m sure she can translate Luffy’s nonsense into proper sentences.’ Zoro huffed. ‘I’d go get the lovebirds upstairs but…’

   Zoro’s voice trailed off and his sentence was punctuated by a… pleasured, feminine squeal.

   'Bye, bye, Zoro.’ Luffy piped up then continued to try and explain his feelings and perspective using the worst or too simplistic words; as well as odd hand gestures.

   Zoro eventually returned with Robin and she was able to clarify Luffy’s statements. Although, she would never reveal the only way she knows Luffy’s feelings was because she had inadvertently instigated the latest fight between Hancock and Law; she and Hancock were having a gossip session which had devolved into Hancock complaining about the size of Law’s genitals and somewhere along the lines, it also became her complaining about how reluctant Luffy was to platonically kiss her.

   Robin did take a moment to listen to Luffy though. And used that to supplement her understanding of Hancock and Law’s relationship.

   'I believe Luffy is trying to say, he considers us all his queerplatonic partners so even though some of us have sexual or romantic partners, he still believes there is that connection between him and your relationships anyway. He also has established a queerplatonic relationship like that with Hancock and Law.’

   'You got… all of that from Luffy just deciding he’s part of our poly triad and Law and Hancock’s relationship?’ Nami asked.

   'Yes.’ Robin said with a chilly smile.

   'Dammit Robin, that’s cheating. You can read dead languages; of course, you can get whatever language Luffy uses.’ Zoro grumbled.

   'Indeed.’ Robin agreed with a chuckle; consciously guarding her little secret.


	17. Unprofessional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nami makes being bad feel so good.

    Oh God, it was bad, it was completely and utterly unprofessional but Tashigi was a firm believer in letting the heart want what it wants. And it feels good to be bad: fingers in her hair, hot breath on her lips, and Nami on her desk. This was bad. She was a Marine. Nami was a pirate. Then there was the issue of what Nami ws sitting on which was all highly classified, unfilled out, official government paperwork. Good God, Nami makes it worth it.

   Nami smelt of citrus and tasted even sweeter. She was a fantastic lover: playful, flirty, and grounded when need be. Everything Tashigi was looking for in a woman. Fabulous. She only came with one drawback: limited face-to-face time by virtue of being a pirate. It was a cruel deal but Tashigi had taken it and she was going to spend limited time with Nami right.

   Tashigi put her hands on Nami’s face. Nami had such lovely, rounded cheeks. Nami nuzzled against Tashigi’s raw, calloused hand.

   'I think I love you, Tashigi.’ she murmured as they kissed.

   'I think I love you too, Nami.’ Tashigi replied, teary but not meaning to.

   Their kisses – sweet, warm, citrusy – seemed to heat up. Tashigi could hear her heart beat and it was like it was preaching of all the virtues of Nami. It was wonderful.

   The two ladies were so wrapped up with each other – their kisses, their sweet nothings – that they didn’t hear heavy footsteps approach the door.

   It was only when the oaky door slammed open and a guttural voice announced itself, did they realise.

   'Tashigi!’ Smoker growled.

   'YIKES!’ shrieked Nami and she recoiled away from Tashigi who plopped down on her comfy office chair.

   Tashigi’s eyes went wide. She swivelled around to face Smoker whilst Nami brought her legs up onto the desk. The papers squished and tearing beneath her. Her hands hovered around her waist; uncertain if she had to whip out her Clima-Tact or not.

   Smoker was unsurprised. He had no look of shock in his face. He was completely and utterly unfazed.

   'Good to see, I’ve been a good influence on you. Carry on.’ Smoker said and he left.

   Tashigi touched her kiss swollen lips. ‘Th-Thank you, Sir!’ she shouted out.

   'Smokey, you’re so cool!’ Nami laughed.

   The door slammed shut.

   Nami grinned like the cat that got the cream. ‘Want to continue?’  
Tashigi was breathless but leapt to her feet anyway. Her hands clamped onto the edge of the desk.

   'Hell yeah.’


	18. It Totally Counts as a Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the worst Marines team-up with the worst pirates and what is not a double date ensues.

   This was not a double date. This was a strategic affair between secret allies on opposing sides of the law: Marines and Pirates merely coming together over lunch. This was official business.

   Or at least that’s the mindset Tashigi and Smoker had coming to the arranged diner. They slid into the booth and their compatriots – Nami and Luffy respectively had already ordered drinks and some food; their dirty plates to the side.

   Nami propped herself up and had a curly straw between her and her drink: a foamy, fizzy, orange-scented (and presumably flavoured) spider.

   'Hey, Babe.’ Nami said and she grinned wide.

   'Smokey! Long-time no see! It was great to hear your voice over the Den-Den Mushi but it’s even better to see you!’ Luffy basically shouted.

   'We are on official business. Please desist with the suggestive comments.’ Tashigi worried then proceeded to hiss: ‘What if somebody hears us?’

   Tashigi sat down and Nami sat in closer.

   'They’ll think I scored pretty damn well.’ Nami flirted.

   Tashigi flushed.

   'Tashigi.’ Smoker warned. 'Giving her a reaction will only make it worse.’

   'C’mon Babe, I got a straw for you and everything.’ Nami said with a wink. She swivelled the second, curly straw around. ‘I hope you like ice-cream floats. I love them.’

   'I ordered you a steak earlier.’ Luffy added excitedly towards Smoker.

   'But you ate it?’ Smoker guessed.

   'I ate it.’ lamented Luffy.

   'It’s fine. We aren’t going to be here long enough to eat.’ Tashigi cut in decisively.

   'A quick meal won’t hurt.’ Smoker shrugged.

   'We have official business.’ Tashigi tittered. ‘Anyway, here’s my latest report on corruption throughout the layers of the Marines. I also managed to contact your grandfather and your not-informant-’

   'Friend!’ Luffy piped up.

   'Not-informant,’ Tashigi insisted, ‘Coby and he sent well wishes. Garp, at this point in time, is too wrapped up with his own duties to assist with this case.’

   Nami leaned down. There was something about Tashigi’s voice that could make drying cement sound interesting.

   And Luffy?

   He was very chuffed about this total not-date. There was something about sharing a meal with Smoker that made everything taste better. If only he hadn’t already gone and eaten his first round of food. At least he could always order more.


	19. Got to Complain to Someone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro and Tashigi mostly spend their 'dates' complaining.

   ‘I love him but I also want to strangle him, you feel?’ Zoro said with a regrettable sigh. He thought about Luffy’s smiling face and how difficult it actually would be to strangle him given his rubber physiology.

   Tashigi nodded sagely as she brought a tea cup to her lips. She paused, savoured the fruity scent of the Earl Grey tea, then took a sip. She smiled and placed the china down once more.

   'I know exactly what you mean.’ Tashigi replied. ‘If I had a berry for each time I wanted to strangle Smoker, I would have more money than your bounty.’

   'Fascinating.’ Zoro replied.

    She always brought it up: the differences that clouded their relationship. He didn’t mind as much now. It was probably her way of limiting herself; making sure she doesn’t get too carried away with the fantasy love life. He was, after all, her weekend lover and the Strawhats were only her fair-weather friends.

   'Thanks though.’ Zoro added. ‘I appreciate having our little catch ups.’

   'I appreciate our little catch ups too.’ Tashigi replied quietly. ‘It doesn’t feel real. It’s like a little break from reality.’

   'I like our not catch-ups better though.’ Zoro pointed out.

   'You do?’ Tashigi asked. ‘I don’t. You almost let a harpy crush my shoulder blade once during out not catch-ups.’

   'Want to spar then?’ Zoro suggested.

   Tashigi sighed and her lips pursed. ‘It’s not exactly a couple thing to do, don’t you think? We can do that any time we want on our not catch-ups but we can’t just… bitch and gossip about our friends during then. Why don’t we do something more romantic for a change?’

   'Are you saying sword maintenance… isn’t romantic?’ Zoro asked; faux insulted.

   'Yes.’ Tashigi replied.

   'Then what do you want to do then?’ Zoro asked.

   'I don’t… know.’ Tashigi replied shyly.

   'Because I think spending time with you is romantic enough.’ Zoro sighed.

   'Really?’ Tashigi asked; a scarlet blush bloomed in her cheeks.

   'Yes.’ Zoro lied. He wasn’t the romantic type but Tashigi was a sap for it. Besides, if he could complain about his best friend to his girlfriend then maybe he can complain about his girlfriend to his best friend – or maybe, to Sanji. He’s the sappy type.

   Actually… that seems like a good idea.


	20. Against Authority's Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garp summons the three troublemakers to his office and gives them a stern lecture.

   'It has come to my attention,’ Admiral Garp began gravely, ‘that much fraternisation has been taking place between you three. I shall give you the benefit of the doubt and believe any explanation you throw out as I respect you three and the choices you make regarding personal statuses.’

   The three problem kids, as Garp would consider them, glanced among themselves. Awkward and trying to prompt each other with desperate, pleading eyes alone. To their surprise, it was the “weakest link” who decided to take charge. 

   'Actually,’ Tashigi piped up, resolute as steel, ‘we have been fraternising quite a lot. We are all dating and if you have a problem that then, well, you are going to lose three of your best officers.’

   Hina’s smile widened and she put her hands on her hips. ‘You heard the lady.’ she growled.

   Garp shook his head. ‘Good to be brave.’

   'I like to think we are.’ Tashigi said and she felt a sudden weight over her shoulders. She glanced backwards and smiled fondly: Hina and Smoker protectively put their arms around her.

   'I’m glad you three are happy.’ Garp said. 

   He wasn’t just Strawhat’s Grandfather. He was everyone’s grandfather.

   'There’s not much I can do, you know.’ he sighed. ‘Just try to remain strictly professional during work hours; or at the very least, around those who don’t need to know.’

   'Does the entirety of our crews count as people who don’t need to know?’ Tashigi required.

  'Yes.’ Garp replied.

  'Fuck.’ Smoker mumbled.

  'The G-5 are our beautiful, idiotic children. I love them.’ Hina stated in a manner which seemed oddly averse to what she had announced.

   Garp sighed and rubbed his temples. What was with young people today?

   'Just try to appear professional around the right people.’ Garp announced.

   'Will do, Admiral Garp.’ Tashigi said.

   'We’ll try.’ Smoker smirked and Hina gave an odd facial expression which, honestly, frightened Garp and clued him into her thinking: she was likely to do the exact opposite of remain on the downlow about her partners.

   Garp tried. It wasn’t his best efforts but young people today were too bull-headed and he was too big-hearted.


	21. In Which Luffy is Petty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy is bored by Zoro and Law's bickering so he gets some petty revenge.

   It had been ongoing for about five minutes now but it felt more like five hours. Luffy hadn’t spoken up yet, merely sitting and watching but he just couldn’t bring himself to find his voice. It was getting pretty violent now. 

    Law and Zoro were having an argument. Both were obviously having touchy days and wanted to de-stress. Nothing said de-stress better than skin-to-skin contact; a good old fashioned hug but both wanted an exclusive hug from the same person and were struggling to find a reasonable way to decide who gets to hug who first. The who in this situation being none other than Luffy.

   Luffy stuck his pinkie finger in his ear and idly tried to distract himself from the creative array of insults that the two were hurling at each other. At this point, Zoro and Law were so deep in their argument that it was like, Luffy no longer mattered: only finding the next, hip, cool way of calling each other a “bonehead” without actually using “bonehead” as that was not the next, hip, cool way of calling each other names. At this point, they wouldn’t actually notice if Luffy were to slip out.  
He let out a sigh.

   Actually, he perked up, that didn’t sound like a bad idea. Maybe he could just slip out and let them tire themselves out with pointless bickering. And maybe, just maybe, in the meantime, Luffy could get a hug from someone who wasn’t feeling angry.

   That was a great idea!

   Now, who to hug…. 

   Robin! Yes, she was the perfect candidate with all her arms it would be the cuddliest hug ever.

   Yes, it was perfect. Not to mention, if Zoro and Law were to catch Luffy hugging Robin, they would probably get pissed and it would be hilarious. Luffy was becoming more and more enticed by this petty idea.

   He watched carefully as the two were still deep in argument as he uncrossed his legs. He hopped off the stool quietly and soon made a brash exit. No pursuit… yet.

   Luffy soon found Robin in her favourite book reading nook. She pushed her sunglasses over her forehead when she noticed Luffy approaching. She paused from her book and smiled serenely at Luffy.

  'Something I can do for you, Captain?’ Robin asked, tender and mild as anything but Luffy was sure she probably wanted to read more than help set a dispute pettily.

   'Can I get a hug?’ Luffy asked.

   'Sure.’ Robin said and she started to read again. Meanwhile, she had arms manifest around Luffy and she gently hugged him. He giggled and it didn’t take long for Zoro and Law to find him like that either.

   Robin read in peace. Her mind somewhere else; bless her. A terrible war of words soon broke out again between Zoro and Law but rather arguing about Luffy, they were now arguing with him but he had a scamp of a grin on his face. He had no regrets over being petty.


	22. Nopes Out of That One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ace and Law are drunkenly looking for a private place for some canoodling but interrupt other couples who had already found a place for some canoodling.

   Law was something of a chucklehead drunk: he was giggly with loose lips. A lot less inhibited than he normally was and was strangely cheerful with a splash of morbid humour. Ace’s usual traits are just amplified under the haze of liquor. Put them together, and trouble was abound.

   Ace and Law were leaning on one another for support. Their legs not the best supports for their weight at this time. They were bumbling through the halls, making strange comments to one another and whispers of a kiss left along their skin as they tried to find a hidey-hole for some hanky-panky of their own.

   'Can’t go wrong with a closet.’ Ace hiccupped and Law reached for the handle.

   He jiggled it and ended up yanking the door back.

   'Oh.’

   A stunned silence followed: looks like they weren’t the only ones after some classic hanky-panky in a closet. Tashigi and Nami were quite red and sweaty and heavier outwear like jackets and jeans were around their ankles and interspersed with the general clutter of the closet.

   'C-Could you please… knock?’ Tashigi asked as her cheeks flushed brighter.

   'Instead, the men closed the door on them and wandered off – pretending they hadn’t seen a thing. The door was now sideways on its frame because of the force Law had used to open the door. Judging by the sounds of the things, the ladies were able to move on and pretend they hadn’t been disturbed either.

   Law and Ace toddled drunkenly down the hallways and ended up in the lounge. The party was over by now; everyone had gone to their respective sleeping quarters to stave off hangovers or to the showers to get cleans. So, no one should be there but intoxicated reasoning was often flawed.

   They noisily crept into the lounge; still ghosting each other with faint kisses and vague promises of what was to come. And then, they discovered the ultimate mood killer: public displays of affection between his little brother…. A Marine.

   It was okay when Nami did because Nami was a corruptive little mink and Tashigi wasn’t exactly the biggest threat in the world but when Luffy was getting it on with motherfucking Admiral “White Cloud” Smoker.

   'Luffy.’ Ace growled and his arms slumped off of Law and he straightened his back.

   Luffy languidly pulled himself off of Smoker’s chiselled front.

   'Yes…?’ he replied with pursed lips swollen from intense kissing.

   'What are you doing with the enemy?’ he asked.

   'Nonya.’ Luffy replied.

   'What’s nonya?’ Ace asked.

   'None of ya business.’ Luffy said and he bolted.

   It looked like Law and Smoker had a lot in common that night. Neither were going to get laid any time soon.


	23. One-Sided

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coby writers a letter to Luffy and is uncertain if he ought to include a more emotional and personal voice in said letter.

   Coby sat down and he slid the chair forward; he was careful not to make any sounds. He smiled to himself and looked down at the paper: cheap, browning, and wrinkled but it was lined and he was ready to write. 

   He was going to write a letter to Luffy. He may not ever send it but he would write in the earnest that Luffy would read it. It was very important to Coby which was why he was prepared for mistake after mistake. 

   He took a deep breath and picked up his quill. He gently dabbed it in his ink well and began to write. He started simply: a greeting, musings about the weather, and what he had been up too. He wrote well but blankly. It was dull and had no rhythm but it was short. Luffy could easily skim through it and grab the important parts as it wasn’t overcomplicated and spilling forth with superfluous redundancies. 

   But… Coby didn’t know if that’s what he wanted to write. He wanted to leave some sort of impassioned mark upon this paper that revealed his true feelings. Friendship ran deep between them but somewhere along the way, it had borne other feelings… romantic feelings. 

   A letter of love was not the most compatible confession for Luffy. No, he needed someone to be upfront with him and in person. Affections in writing were not for him but writing it out was so much easier than speaking it.

   Here, Coby could courageously write out what he was thinking without the risk of sounding foolish was he was perfectly manipulating the temperament and tone and rhythm of his thoughts. There was no mumbling or fumbling. It was orchestral and he conducted everyone perfectly with each _thwip_ of his goose feather quill. It felt sublime to have such control over his words yet even still; three words evaded him.

    _I love you._

   As it would turn out, there was something Coby couldn’t write but there were so many ways of saying “I love you” without uttering any of those words. Saying “I love you” can be favoured out over well wishes and begs for determination and tokens of bravery. 

   The rhythm of Coby’s letter changed as he powered on. He tied together all the things he wanted to tell Luffy with what he could find himself telling Luffy. Coby knows its unrequited. He knows Luffy doesn’t see him that way and good God it feels as bittersweet as a drop of the divine nectar. 

   Still, Coby persists against that terrible pining, the terrible whisper in his ear that reminds him that Luffy – heroic, humorous, amazing Luffy – does not return his love. He finishes up on his letter. He reads over it and slowly, the words twist from dull to exuberant. His heart races and palms sweat.

   He shouldn’t.

   He has to.

   He doesn’t.

    _Riiiip_. Coby can’t bear it. He shouldn’t have written something so embarrassing. He tears his letter in half: he separates the dreary facts from the flowery emotions. Luffy only needs the first half of the letter. He doesn’t require Coby’s emotions; just his memories plain and simple. 

  Coby does not discard the second half of the letter but it feels a lot heavier than paper in his breast pocket than it should.


	24. Super Casual Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Ace and Nami hogging the couch, Sabo settles for a different approach for wooing Nojiko but she already has something else in mind.

   Ace and Nami were hogging the lounge but Nojiko supposed that was fine. She and Ace could sit side by side at the dinner table. What was not fine was how affectionate they were being: Nami was lying atop of Ace, they were playing footsies under their blanket whilst Ace was telling stories of his courageous feats on the sea or even from childhood, and Nami was drumming her fingers on Ace’s chest – did he ever wear a shirt?

   But Nojiko sighed. She glanced towards Sabo was intensely reading a book. Her lips curled into a smile. She inched towards Sabo and nudged him; her ankles brushing against hers as she attempted to initiate her own game of footsies. 

  'I’m busy, Nojiko.’ Sabo said with a sympathetic smile.

  Nojiko smiled. Somedays, she just wanted to fix that gap between his teeth but, somehow she suspects, a lot of Sabo’s endearing charm would be taken away if she were to have to her way. 

   'Doing what?’ Nojiko asked.

   'Reading.’

   'Reading what?’

   A hush fell over Sabo’s voice: ‘One of Nami’s old textbooks on navigation. Her notes are at least a decade old and I must admit, they are far more advanced than any note I would take now as an adult.’ 

   Nojiko giggled and she jostled Sabo’s arm. ‘Stay quiet. She would be embarrassed if she heard you say that.’

   'Why? She’s a genius.’

   'And she gets better at her craft each day. She would be appalled by such outdated notes. Embarassed to Hell and back.’

   'I see. So, now that you’ve thoroughly distracted me from research tough, is there something you want?’ Sabo asked.

   A loving look fell across Nojiko’s eyes as she smiled serenely. ‘I want some sort of alone time. With you.’

   Sabo glanced out towards the window and grinned. ‘The rain’s stopped. I didn’t even notice. Want to take a walk? If you like, but only if you’re ready… do you want to take me to pay respects to Bellemere?’ Sabo asked.

   'I would be honoured, Sabo. I’m sure she would be thrilled to meet you.’ Nojiko replied.


	25. Crushing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's called a "crush" because it crushes you.

   It wasn’t an issue of status. It wasn’t an issue of pirate versus Marine. It wasn’t even an issue of gender.

   Coby sighed. He was sitting. Breathing fine but he felt so choked up like was being suffocated. But it worse. Way worse. So much more violent. Like he was being choked or strangled. He sniffed. He looked away but only for his gaze to return.

   He shouldn’t focus on this. He knows he shouldn’t focus on this. It’s all he can focus on and he has to will his eyes to stay dry. He’s coming up with excuses though. If anyone asks; he just put too much pepper on his food, this island must have a high pollen count today, probably some dust or even an eyelash.

   Surely, they’ll believe that… right?

   He doesn’t even believe it.

   Coby mumbles as he speaks. No one thinks anything unusual of it. He always mumbles when he speaks but he doesn’t want to. He wants to speak up so badly he could explode from all the pent-up words he could never say. Of all the things that died inside of him.

   He feels as though tears aren’t the only thing at risk of leaving his body. His soul too. It tarnishes in this sadistic show of affections.

   He’s being overdramatic. Coby knows he’s being overdramatic but he doesn’t care. Or maybe he does. Maybe he cares too much but with one thing on his mind – no, two things on his mind – he doesn’t have the capabilities of focusing on anything else. They’re just… shoved away. Gone.

   'And that concludes it.’ Smoker grumbles as he chugs the last of his cider.

   'Kiss for the road?’ Luffy asks. Innocently. Giggly. With a huge grin slapped across his face. A grin that could never, ever leave. It was a grin that can’t leave.

   It doesn’t make Coby sick even though it repulses him. His eyes shy away. He tries to shut everything down. But his head, evil and wretched jealousy is screaming over and over: “Luffy Smoker Luffy Smoker Luffy Smoker Luffy Smoker” and Coby has had enough!

   Luffy cocks his head. ‘Hey… Coby? You okay?’

   Coby panics. He waves his hands exuberantly. Anything to hide his true feelings. He smiles: purposefully crinkles his eyes. His cheeks pinch and it is as though his skin had turned brittle as it caused him so much pain to do so. He could feel it. Tiny tears that threatened to burst. To turn him into a pathetic, bawling baby over his unrequited love.

   'Who… me?’ He laughs awkwardly. ‘Luffy, I’m just…’ His voice cracks. ‘I’m just so darn happy for you.’

   He lies. And it is the most soul crushingly terrible thing Coby has ever felt; incomparable to the War even. He doesn’t know how. It just is.

   With a shrug, he is believed.


	26. Tactile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brook and Franky confide in each other over particular things the rest of the crew wouldn't understand.

   Franky lumbered into the kitchen. His body was positively drooping with exhaustion. He half slammed against the fridge as he opened it. He grabbed as many bottles of ice cold cola as he could with his hands then lugged himself to the table where he plopped himself down heavily. The table and chairs seemed to jump.

   The soft, dainty chink of china followed.

   Franky turned his head and decided he was too tired to be surprised so, instead, he deadpanned: ‘Brook… When did you get here?’

   Brook chortled good-naturedly. ‘I’ve always been here.’

   ‘Fair ‘nough.’ Franky groaned as he opened all his bottles.

   Their caps popped noisily and he soon chugged most of the bottles. Brook continued to sip his tea. It was pleasant.

   Then, Brook set down his china and there was a strange shift in his demeanour. He was terribly hard to read but even with Franky’s bleary eyes and current low tolerance for foolery, could tell there was something troubling him.

   ‘You ‘right, man?’ Franky asked.

   ‘Do you miss it?’ Brook asked sharply.

   ‘Miss what?’ Franky asked. He must’ve missed something that Brook said; his ears were still ringing with whistles and bells from when he had been tinkering below deck with his beloved engines.

   ‘The simple pleasure of touch?’ Brook asked solemnly.

   Franky shrugged. He had more skin than Brook but most of his was useless as it simply decorated an otherwise terrifying, steel frame.

   ‘Sometimes.’ Franky said. ‘You don’t miss it until its gone.’

   ‘Indeed. The others…. They wouldn’t understand, would they?’ Brook inquired.

   ‘We’re lucky – I’m lucky – to have you. I can complain about the weird stuff with you.’ Franky said and he cracked a wry smile.

   ‘I feel fortunate for having you too, as part of my social circle. Never would I have imagined… a skeleton and a cyborg.’

   ‘Yeah, eh.’ Franky agreed with half a puff of laughter.


	27. Parenthood Wasn't What They Said It Would Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellemere and Corazon are more than ready for the challenge called joint parenthood but they consider themselves more than prepared.

   Parenthood wasn’t what they said it would be. Oh no, it was much, much easier. It wasn’t hard work. It was fun. Or maybe, they had just gotten lucky to be blessed with three children none of whom are blood but by the stars were they family. Well, maybe not just yet.

   Bellemere’s girls still weren’t sharing their toys with this new boy they were told: “Hey, meet your brother. Don’t burn him alive.”

   And Law was now in a new biting phase because the girls were picking on him but Corazon had had a very stern talking to with his son. “These girls are your new sisters, and remember: it’s not polite to a hit a girl… or swap her head onto the table.”

    Bellemere thought it was going to be so, so, so hard. She was used to be a single mother. Stern, caring, and fun all at once or when she needed to be. She didn’t need a man but she needed love and she found both in a man whose name meant heart. What could be more fitting than that?

   And she loved him. And she knew her daughters would love him. Sure, her girls were a little rough around the edges with strangers but she knew they’d come good. Until then, Cora may have to weather a few harmless pranks here and there. He understood though. If he were small and girlish, he would find it insulting to have a new man in the world: one who is supposed to be a patch for a hole that wasn’t there. They’d never known a family to be nuclear: a mother, a father, and two-point-five kids. 

   Corazon laughs though. He never thought he would be part of a such a cookie cutter family but Bellemere reminds him in his mirth; “We ain’t married, asshole” and lights up a cigarette. 

   It’s been a long day. They collapse on a lounge that is suddenly too small for the family but goes too nicely with the other furniture to be replaced. They snuggle into each other and sigh.

   'Law’s a real handful, isn’t he?’

   'He managed to single-handedly extend bedtime by two hours because he didn’t want to eat his bread.’ Bellemere sounded absolutely soulless.

   'And like your girls are all sugar, spice, and everything nice?’

   'He has an unfair advantage with that Devil Fruit. At least no bones were broken. I fear the day.’

   'As do I.’

   'But it’s worth it. A full house. All these motherly feelings.’

   'I agree.’

   Bellemere cocks her head and tugs gently on Corazon’s collar. ‘Kiss me?’

   He presses a neat kiss onto her dry lips. They both smile.

   Parenthood wasn’t what they said it would be. It was far better. Or maybe they just have the unfair advantages of having Devil Fruits and military backgrounds. No brat can compare to that. But hot damn will those kids try.


	28. Don't Mess With Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kids can be cruel and playground politics can be brutal. The consensus is that a family must be a married woman and a man plus their blood related children.

   Bellemere crouched down and Nami pouted. She held on tightly to her school bag’s straps. Bellemere held onto her daughter and had a stern but loving look in her eyes.

   'Now, Nami,’ she said crossly, ‘do not get into another row with the boys on the school route. They’re nothin’ but trouble, not worth you’re time. Nojiko, I know they pick on you too but you’re older than ‘em. Show ‘em you’re mature. Let their words roll off you.’

   'But Bellemere! They throw rocks at us!’ Nojiko shouted.

   'Just use your bags as your shields. Or Law. He’s a big boy with a big ol’ nasty Devil Fruit. He’ll live.’ Bellemere replied. ‘Now, I don’t know to get a call from the principal again telling me that my daughters got suspended for bein’ in a full-on brawl. You’re there to learn, have a bitta fun on the side. You two can do this. You’ve lived through worse. C’mon, my darlings, now get on your way.’

   'Yes Bellemere.’ the girls droned. Their little hands curled into fists. Bellemere pecked both their cheeks.

   Law crept into the room. He had been told by Cora that it was ladies’ business in the kitchen but it seemed to be over. He was afraid that it would have concerned menstrual hygiene, but he had eavesdropped and it was about something far more interesting.

   'C’mere, Law. You’re gonna love Cocoyashi’s school. It’s the best.’ Bellemere cheered and Law approached – uncharacteristically shyly. ‘C’mon, give Bellemere a hug.’ 

   Law rolled his eyes but complied. Bellemere gave him a great big hug back and eventually let go of him.

   'Now off to school you three, or you’ll be late.’ Bellemere threatened.

   'Yes Bellemere.’ the siblings droned.

   The girls went slightly ahead of Law but he easily kept pace with them even though it was clear to him through their body language that they didn’t want him around. They marched. They carried on with faces like soldiers. They were supposed to be a family nowadays and apparently, as siblings, they ought to walk with each other to school.

   'So what was that about?’ Law asked.

   'None of your business.’ Nami huffed.

   'You’re going to find this hard to believe Law but we get bullied at school. A lot.’ Nojiko explained.

   'Hmph!’ Nami growled and she stopped in her tracks. She swung around to face Law and Law was honestly surprised by her behaviour. Especially when he realised that there were tears bubbling up in the corners of her eyes. ‘And because of you! It’s going to get worse!’

   'She doesn’t mean that…’ Nojiko mumbled but Law could tell, she secretly agreed.

   'Why because of me?’ Law asked, firing up.

   'Because you and Cora are freaks! Devil Fruits are freaky and you two are freakier-est!’ Nami yelled.

   Law bit his lower lip and stepped back. He honestly couldn’t even argue with that.

   Nojiko stepped in. ‘The kids at school find it strange and their parents find our situation strange. Yes, they respect for Bellemere but Cora and you Law, your unknown territory. No offence but, you’re not going to help our situation much with your powers.’

   'I don’t get it.’ Law huffed. ‘Why would anyone be stupid enough to pick on you two?’

   He remembered all sorts of bruises and scrapes he had gotten from bickering with his sisters; as well as from playing with them. He still had a fresh one on his knee from where Nami had tripped him in the dirt as they were having races in the orange plantation. 

   'The kids think it’s weird that until Cora, came we didn’t have a father. And that our mother wasn’t our mother. That Nami and I aren’t blood either so there’s no way three, seemingly unconnected people could be a family. That’s why. And even though we are – more so now than ever with you and Cora’s arrival, the kids at school don’t think that way.’ Nojiko explained. ‘Not to mention, we’re stone broke. Basically in poverty to them.’

   'Hmph.’ Law grumbled.

   The three kids trotted on, this time in silence. It didn’t take them long to get into town and that’s when mischief started around them. As they passed houses, kids in the neighbourhood would stop, stare, and snicker. It was gross. Law hated it but kept his head down as his sisters were bearing it fine. They may not have had smiles on their faces but their heads were up and they marching on through. 

   The school was over the hill from here, Law could see a weathervane in the distance. But first, there was the last house on the road that was still intimately part of town. It was bigger and fancier than most houses. It had a guarded fence and a vicious-sounding dog snarling from under it. Law didn’t like the feel of this place; especially since Nami and Nojiko had sprinted past it.

   'OI! FAKE FAMILY!’ a voice yelled.

   The three of them stopped dead in their tracks. 

   'We should keep going, Nami. Law!’ Nojiko said.

   'No, no, you tw- wait, three – should stay here. Let’s have a little chat. So much has changed since we last saw each other.’

   A porky little boy came from behind the guarded fence. He wore extremely nice clothes and shoes that that practically shone. He had a sleazy grin and thin lips. He unnerved Law but his sisters were positively rattled.

   'Hello, Elmo.’ Nojiko said. She bowed her head. ‘It has been a long time since we last saw each other. A lot has changed.’

   'Who’s this bozo?’ Elmo asked as he cocked his thumb towards Law.

   'Our brother Law.’ Nami piped up defiantly. 

   'Real brother or fake brother?’ Elmo asked with an open ear and quirked eyebrow.

   'Real!’ Nami shouted as she cried.

   'Yeah right. You’re only a real family if you’re related – and your parents are married. And my Father – the Mayor – says that there’s been no announcements for weddings in the newspaper lately; especially not any for Bellemere.’ Elmo tormented.

   'Whatever, Elmo. We gotta go or does your father – the Mayor – not care if his precious, darling, only son is late and fails?!’ Nojiko taunted back. ‘C’mon Nami, Law, let’s go.’

   Nojiko put her nose in the air and stomped off. Nami and Law followed suit; and quite proudly too but not with dignity though. Nami turned back and pulled funny faces. Law approved though.

   And then Nami stumbled forward and Nojiko caught her. A rock bounced off of Nami’s head and left a bright, red-pink mark and something about seeing Nami like that: on the ground, in the dust, hurt just triggered Law.  
He turned around darkly. ‘You like throwing rocks, huh?’ he asked.

   'No way, so do I. Except, I’m not an asshole who throws them at people’s little sisters!’

   'Law, don’t!’ Nojiko said but it was too late.

   Law wasn’t the most stable of Devil Fruit users given that he was still young and consequently dumb. He had activated his room. A filmy bubble spread around them but it was uneven in places. Law grinned and things began to move. He couldn’t concentrate with the background noise – Nami’s crying, the barking dog, and the town as a whole – but just so long as he stared at that snot nosed brat Elmo, he might do well.

   'Since you’re such a rock head, you may as well look the part.’ Law threatened. A rock hovered close to him. He went to snap his fingers but Nojiko stopped him.

   'Law! You’re breaking Cora’s rules. No Devil Fruit power using without him in the vicinity! And I am quite certain that Corazon is not in the vicinity!’ Nojiko said. 

   'Y-Yeah right, as though this freak could do anything to me. The Mayor’s son.’ Elmo gloated.

   'Can I at least do something to his mongrel dog?’ Law asked.

   'Just so long as you put it back afterwards.’ Nojiko conceded.

   'Sweet.’ Law grinned sadistically.

   He managed to bring the dog – a huge, pitbull with tusk-like teeth – came over the fence. Elmo paled. Law snapped his fingers and the dog’s head popped off. Elmo screeched.

   'What are you doing to Gucci?!’ he yelled.

   His mutt growled and Law put returned its head to his body.

   'Law has the Op-Op Fruit and you won’t like what the Op-Op Fruit can do.’ Nojiko taunted.  
Nami blew a raspberry in the background.

   'I’m the only one allowed to mess with my real sisters, rock-head! You better not lay a finger on them or you’ll find you have no fingers to touch them with!’ Law shouted.

   Elmo whimpered and the dog was put down over the fence where it belonged. The three siblings then walked off, proudly. They had a good feeling that Elmo – and, hopefully his cronies once word spread of how terrifying Nami and Nojiko’s real brother was – wasn’t going to bother them anymore.

   Unfortunately, for Bellemere anyway, she did receive a bothersome phone call later that day. But she’s fine with that. The kids that slay together stay together. It’s good to know her daughters are safe with Law. She just wishes he had more… childlike and not devil-like manners of dealing with bullies.


	29. Not How You Use a Lounge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nami just wants to read in peace. Her siblings and her friends are making sure that does not happen.

   Nami meandered towards the lounge from the hallway. Her nose in a book yet no step was miscalculated. She happily plopped down in the corner and snuggled in. She turned the page and kept reading.

   Law wandered through and saw his beloved baby sister on the lounge, minding her own business and reading. With that, he succumbed to the brotherliest instinct humans have: the urge to annoy a girl they are family with.

   With a mirthful grin, he sat absurdly close to Nami and made sure to elbow her as well. Nami, being a reasonable human being, did not take this seriously.

   'Rack off, Law.’ Nami murmured as she struggled to turn the page with Law exerting his weight onto her right arm.

   'What are you reading?’ he asked; his voice hiding half a snicker.

   'Nothing you’d find interesting. Besides, isn’t Chopper looking for you?’ Nami asked.

   'Solved his problem. Now I’m bored.’ Law said and he craned his neck to read the book. Nami finally managed to turn the page.

   'Hey, I was reading that.’ Law teased.

   'Whatever you say.’ Nami sighed.

   The exasperation Nami was going through had only begun.

   Another brother walked into the room; he wasn’t Nami’s brother but like Nami’s brother, he too was compelled by the compulsion to annoy people. Although, in his case, he wasn’t meaning to.

    Sabo was just about to walk past but seeing Law and Nami intensely read the same book, made him curious. He approached the lounge but he was content standing next to it; hands clamped over the lounge’s arm.

   'What are you guys reading?’ he asked, curiously.

   Nami sighed. ‘Something you would be interested in, unfortunately. For me.’ Nami lamented.

   'Maybe you should just read aloud.’ Law suggested.

   'Only if one more person decides they want to read the latest edition of the Encyclopedia of Weather as revised by Perez Albus.’ Nami replied.

   She spoke too soon.

   Luffy bounded into the room next and Nami felt her soul shrivel up and die. ‘Did I hear story time?’ he asked excitedly.

   'Yes.’ Law replied firmly.

   'Oooh, what’re we reading then?’ Luffy asked and he seated himself at Law’s feet.

   'The latest edition of the Encyclopedia of Weather as revised by Perez Albus.’ Nami repeated herself.

   'Oh.’ Luffy mumbled. ‘Sounds boring.’

   'I think it sounds thrilling.’ Ace piped up and honestly spooked most of the room’s occupants as he sat down. ‘I was looking for a bit of quiet time but story time sounds better.’ He sat down next to Law and put his arm around him. ‘Would you recommend this book, Law?’

   There was a sparkle in Ace’s eye. He was absolutely trying to encourage Law in his pursuit of annoying Nami. Law snickered.

   'I would absolutely recommend. Especially when accompanied by the dulcet tones of my sister’s voice.’ Law replied.

   'You guys are teaming up on me. I just know it.’ Nami grumbled.

   'C’mon, Nami. Read us the story already.’ Luffy whinged.

   'Trust me Luffy. You wouldn’t like it. There are no pictures and its very scientific.’ Nami replied.

   'It could be good for him.’ Sabo suggested.

   'Fine.’ Nami said.

   'Wait!’

   Nami closed her eyes. Suddenly, death seemed so much more like a memory because of how frequently she imagines it. That was the dulcet tones of Law’s other sister: Nojiko.

   'Don’t start without me.’ Nojiko decided. She also decided to improvise given there were no more seats on the lounge to be had. She sat on Ace’s lap and swivelled around so that Law had to deal with her feet.

   'This better be everyone, okay…’ Nami then went on to read a passage from her encyclopedia.


	30. Inject Caffeine Straight Into My Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro just wants a cup of coffee to prolong his inevitable death. Instead, he creates inseparable bonds with two men he thought he hated.

   As always, the student run café – mostly run for the benefit of anyone in the hospitality units – was busy. It wasn’t the best place to go but sometimes, when you’re hungry, hangover, and in need of a boost before class, it was the best place. Although, rumour had it that some food tech student – apprentice to Head Chef Zeff off-campus – was making waves there so maybe it wasn’t as much as a despotic hellhole as most students think it. Or at least, when said student was working.

   Zoro was hungover, tired, hungry, and had a four exam in fifteen minutes’ time. He was also probably the only person on campus who wanted to avoid the mythological food tech student.

   Zoro could confirm that cryptid’s existence. Unfortunately. Guy’s name was Vinsmoke Sanji and he was a bon-a-fide douchebag. And said animosity went both ways. But maybe, just maybe, in this stupor of poor decisions Zoro might get lucky and he might be able to order a cup of coffee in peace without having Sanji’s handwriting on the tacky, campus themed cups.

   When this poor, college student arrived at the campus coffee shop, what greeted him was far worse than a douchebag in a stupid, white hat and apron.

   Instead, he got exactly that and an asshole in a straw hat. And it felt exactly like a cup of coffee dumped straight on his crotch.

   He just wanted a cup of a coffee. To put on his eyes. Not his dick. His eyes. He just needed something to wake him up long enough to get him through the torture that was the four hour exam.

   Instead, he was being introduced to Sanji’s newest recruit to his kitchen staff: a dumbass busboy named Monkey D. Luffy.

   And from these horrible, horrible turns of events… something was brewing like the overpriced bean-milk-water in the kitchen because from then onwards, Zoro could not get rid of either of those two idiots.

   In fact, they became an iconic trio of idiots. Zoro doesn’t remember how he did it because in the midst of having a burning dick, a hangover, an exam, and all this other shit but if he had to do that horrible day again, he would because he would miss being part of that iconic trio of idiots even though there were days when they sent him up the walls in with insanity, he did treasure them. They were friends. Maybe even something more.

   Because in his current stupor of bad decisions like imbuing too much liquor and ignoring tomorrow’s exams in favour of a BNS and other circumstances, years down the road from that moment in the campus coffee shop, he can barely remember jack shit. Seriously; why did he decide shots of absinthe with Sanji and Luffy would be a good idea?

   Can someone please tell him why he thought any of this would be a good idea?


	31. Once Upon a Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usopp has a lot of catching up to with Kaya but a curious Vivi and Koza also want to be a part of Usopp's grand, fantastical, totally unbelievable but completely true stories of what have happened in the past few years.

   Kaya held onto her large, floppy sunhat as delight filled her eyes. Her pastel yellow dress whipped in the strong wind; in tune with the flag: black and white, a skull and cross bones. Never had she ever felt like this: as free.  
Usopp approached with a grin creeping across his face. He’d never seen Kaya so carefree before. He couldn’t be happier for her.

   'Usopp!’ Kaya squealed as she turned around. ‘Thank you, thank you for bringing me on this voyage. I love this ship – where’s the Going Merry?’

   'It’s a long story Kaya… Well… We were in the area. How couldn’t I not just drop by and come for a yarn…’ Usopp replied, a little shy. His heart skipped a beat.

   'We’ve got so much to talk about. Tell me, tell me, what happened on your adventures?’ Kaya asked.

   'Well, if you didn’t believe the stuff I came up with, you’re not going to even accept what’s actually happened in the nearest vicinity of the truth. C’mon, let’s start with the first princess we met; her name’s Vivi. You’ll love her. I say princess, she’s queen now. Hopefully her country won’t miss her for a quick cruise.’

   'A queen? On deck?’ Kaya’s eyes widened and her mouth slackened.

   'Yep, a real bon-a-fide Queen of the Desert. Blue blood and all – blue hair too.’ Usopp joked.

   'I must meet her at once but first, this has been a long time coming Usopp… But I love you!’ Kaya announced and her voice was carried by the wind.

   Usopp swept Kaya off her feet and smiled; laughed: ‘I love you too, Kaya.’

   Kaya let Usopp carry her bridal style. Her hands had changed in their years’ absence but it was Usopp… He looked so different, if it weren’t for that nose, Kaya mightn’t have recognised him. Not just in appearance but demeanour. He had truly become a mighty warrior of the sea whilst she hadn’t been looking. Kaya was overwhelmed by nostalgia for events she’d never experienced but she was sure, Usopp’s eloquence would immerse so much it would be like a resurfacing forgotten memory.

   Kaya pecked Usopp’s cheek. ‘I love you, my handsome warrior of the sea.’

   Usopp chuckled. ‘I love you too, Ka – I mean, Doctor Kaya: healer of all of Syrup Village and beyond. Recognised on the world’s stage.’

   'You flatter me.’ Kaya replied.

   'Maybe; or maybe, I’m telling the truth.’ he hummed.

   Usopp carried Kaya to the lounge.

   Her eyes lit up when she saw a gorgeous woman: blue hair and utterly regal. She was no dbout the Queen Usopp had spoken about earlier. Kaya couldn’t believe her eyes. She wondered who the grizzled man was; the Queen was holding his hand tenderly as they spoke. Then, she noticed Usopp and Kaya.

   'Is this the famous Kaya I have heard so much about?’ Vivi asked as her eyes grew big. Her smile wider.

   'She is just as beautiful as our liar would have it; who would have thought?’ the man said.

   'Kohza!’ Vivi roused. ‘That’s not exactly the most polite compliment you could tell someone.’

   'I-It is an honour, y-your Majesty.’ Kaya said and she scrambled out of Usopp’s arms. She was let down gently and did a curtsey.

   Vivi’s face flushed red and she waved her hands: ‘There’s no need for that. There are no statuses on board the ship. I’m just a commoner; like you.’

   'What she means is, we’re all friends here. I’m Kohza, her trophy husband.’

   'Hush you.’ Vivi scolded.

   'You knows it. A handsome face like me? Doing anything but? Yeah right.’

   'He plays a vital role in Alabasta’s Defence. Do not listen to him but I suppose, on board this ship with no status – only friends – he is just my trophy husband. Come sit with us, we were reminiscing about the last time I was on a Strawhat ship. I’m sure Usopp has plenty to tell us both.’ Vivi said.

   Kaya shyly sat next to Vivi. ‘Yes, I believe he does.’

   'Well, where do you want me to start?’ Usopp asked.

   'Well, what did you do when you left Alabasta?’

   'We flew to Heaven and back; riding a great geyser.’ Usopp replied smugly.

   'Surely you jest.’ Vivi asked; almost speaking over Kaya who was just about to say the same thing.

   'Well, there were a few things in between but that’s the gist of it. Truth be told, it all started when…’ Usopp then drew off into a fantastical tale of gods and angels and jungles, truth and lies. It was wonderous and that was just one arc in the great Strawhat Pirate saga; one arc Vivi hadn’t been for – same for Kaya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus angst scenario: Usopp having to explain to Kaya what happened to the Going Merry.


	32. Restaurant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy inadvertently disrupts a family's dining experience but Sanji quickly shuts that complaint down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA: features autistic!Luffy and a little bit of ableism. If I have misrepresented autism, please let me know so I can make amendments to this fic as necessary or remove it completely. I hope I have not been insensitive in any way.

   Sanji smiled as he saw his favourite customer come through the doors. 

   ‘Hello and welcome to the Baratie; usual, right?’ he asked with a wink.

   'You do this every time.’ Luffy rolled his eyes.

   'Your favourite seat is empty; kept that way just for you. Patty will bring some starters for you in a moment; reckon you can hang tight?’ Sanji asked.

   'I think so. Yep.’ Luffy nodded.

   'Kiss?’ Sanji asked.

   'Nah.’ Luffy replied.

   'Fair enough; well, hope you have a good dining experience.’ Sanji well-wished with a shrug and a sweeping gesture so he could discretely point out Luffy’s favourite spot in the restauraunt. Although, it was an empty gesture as Luffy knew the quickest and least intrusive way towards his favourite seat already.

   'I always do.’ Luffy grinned confidently.

   Luffy strutted off and any member of the Baratie staff who was on the floor who saw him, greeted him. He liked saying hello back. Luffy set up in the corner with the best window. He set himself up: cross-legged on a chair and a few of his fidget toys at the ready. Until his food came, he thought he would just occupy himself by stimming. 

   He didn’t notice, at first anyway, but people – not many, just an “average” family – had taken offence Luffy minding his own business and doing what is that keeps him happy. They whispered: they didn’t like his apparent lack of manners. Not taking his hat off inside, not sitting on a chair properly, rocking too, chewing on his necklace, and playing with his tangle. All of these insignificant things, they seemed to take offence too – the parents anyway, their children were still trying to work out what it was about Luffy that their parents didn’t like.

   'Excuse me,’ a snooty woman with bustling pearls around her neck piped up – calling out towards Sanji, ‘Maître-D, could you please remove that pest. He is ruining our dining experience.’  
Sanji raised his head haughtily. ‘I apologise ma’am, but I’m not the Maître-D. But I can listen to you: what ails your experience?’

   'That man. He – He is being a nuisance. It’s quite clearly because he is one of those low-functioning autistics.’

   With that, it was like Sanji was seeing red. Luffy had heard that too and he felt like he was being ripped in two. He slowed down; until he felt like a statue and he hated it. Couldn’t bear to eat either.

   'And like your children aren’t? I didn’t even realise we had crayons on board the Baratie until your children turned up.’ Sanji sassed.

   'Good sir!’ her partner exclaimed; appalled, aghast.

   'Yes?’

   'Who is you’re superior: I must let him know at once that he has hired such a rude waiter.’

   'I’m not the waiter. I’m not the Maître-D. I’m the sous chef and that man is my boyfriend. He has yet to disturb anyone; so, if you have any further complaints, you can take it with security. He’ll make sure you get to dry land safely.’

   The parents sputtered. The children giggled. Sanji smirked. Luffy was smug in his own ways now; glad he decided to pause his meal to eavesdrop.


	33. Unanswered Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Law is struggling to comprehend what should be basic human anatomy but Devil Fruit Users have always been anomalies; in his defence anyway.

   Law was distracted to say the least. It wasn’t like Smoker wore all that man clothes to begin: a coat, some pants, and his boots. That was it. Would it kill him to wear a shirt?

   Probably.

   Law’s eyes wandered away from the anatomy he had been studying; mostly out of fear of getting caught, slightly because he was embarrassed but it had to be asked:

   "What did Smoker’s back muscles look like?”

   It was a highly scientific question given the state of things. Because Smoker already had highly developed abdomen muscles so it was likely that his back was well developed to suit this but Law, not for the life of him, could work out what Smoker would look like without that coat on him. That was saying a lot given that Law was already quite familiar with most human anatomy: a few anomalies were present here and there due to Devil Fruit powers but that was adjacent to the point as Smoker was a Devil Fruit User.

   And given that Smoker’s Fruit was of the Logia classification, that could potentially mean that Smoker mightn’t have human skin on his back. Instead, he might just be permanently… smokey or cloud-like. Law didn’t know for certain.

   Furthermore, if he did have a relatively normal back, what about scars? 

   There was something damn sexy about scars, Law had to had to admit but he thinks it might just be a general consensus. He hopes that it’s a general consensus.

   His eyes wander back to his target. He tries, once more for the life of him, to mentally work that stupid coat off of Smoker’s back where so many questions had managed to manifest.


	34. Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coby has a realisation about his changing feelings about Luffy.

   It was an enlightening realisation but not necessarily a happy one.

   Coby’s eyes widened and it was like he was no longer bearing the weight of his earth. He could breathe and not feel as though he were being choked or strangled. It was a great sensation: chillingly tranquil but again, this realisation was not necessarily a happy one though it may feel blessed.

   He swallowed. His hands didn’t shake. He smiled; a trembling, feeble little smile but a smile nonetheless. He ran his fingers through his hair and noticed absently that his forehead was hot. Very hot.

   His heart quivered and he wondered when he had changed. When his feelings had changed. He no longer felt his emotions: just their repercussions; their reactions. He had no idea what had taken charge of him but he liked it. He liked this sanity but maybe, just maybe, it was more interesting to be hooked on that bittersweet feeling of unrequited love.

   'It really is great to see you again.’

   Coby was repeating himself, almost dumbly but Luffy didn’t care. He was talking his mouth off; making sure that Coby was all caught up in the latest capers the Strawhat Pirates had gotten involved in.

   And, Coby smiled fondly. He no longer felt feeble. He let the situation wash over him; lived in the moment, not the calculations of every little thing he was doing – of every little ting that Luffy was doing. He would just… immerse himself in the present. He wouldn’t take double guesses and allow his worst fears to take over him.

   Slowly but certainly, he was wading back into that fearsome and turbulent realm of emotions.  
But that didn’t matter. All that matters in the now.

   Later, when they had to part again, Coby had a second coming of a realisation but this one, this one was good and great in every way. There was nothing wrong with having changing feelings. He wasn’t the man he was years ago; when he had first met Luffy, when he had first fell in love with Luffy.

   That was fine. Brilliant actually.

Because now, he could simply enjoy what he did have with Luffy and that was a friendship that endured time and justices. And that brought a great grin to Coby’s face and was one he wore excellently.


	35. Basorexia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corazon and Bellemere share a romantic moment in the rain: their first kiss.

   It was raining hard and all Bellemere could hear the pound of her heart. Her body ached: not just from exhaustion but from an unrelenting craving. There was something about this man… she couldn’t get enough.

   Her hands were shaking and he held onto hers. He smiled and he let her caress the side of his face. He was drenched. Somehow, more drenched than her even though they had been spacing out like this in the rain for the same amount of time. It was just Corazon’s luck, wasn’t it?

   She smiled; weakly and her eyes watered. 

   'I love you, Bellemere. With all my heart.’ Corazon announced and Bellemere’s heart faltered.

   She loved him too. Immeasurably. Infinitely. 

  'M-May I kiss you?’ he asked, fumbling with his words but never had a more sincere and dulcet word had been spoken – at least not to Bellemere anyway.

   'Absolutely!’ Bellemere replied and before Corazon had a chance, she kissed him first.

   Her hands turned from a caress to a firm hold as she got onto her tip toes. She held on tight and was left breathless as she desperately kissed the man she loved. Slowly, warmth blossomed inside of her – inside of them both.


	36. Bachelors & Spinsters (B&S)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing says a party like peer pressuring your friends into sculling their booze then immeadiately singing about smoking weed and convoluted innuendos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A concept: AU where everything is the same except people from the East Blue are bogans.

   Luffy and Sabo playfully elbowed each other. Ace and Nami each other down: toe to toe with a smug expression and mug of frothy ale in hand. Law and Nojiko were cheering.

   'On the count of three.’ Ace decided.

   'You bet cha.’ Nami replied with a boastful grin.

   'Sorry Acey-boy but Nami can drink anyone under the table.’ Nojiko announced.

   'You remember the song, right?’ Luffy asked Sabo.

   'Who could forget it?’ Sabo asked.

   'Funny,’ Nojiko piped up as she hooked her arm around Law, ‘I was about to ask this one the same thing. Can’t trust those lads from outside the East Blue.’

   'Let’s just get on with it.’ Ace cut in.

   'I agree.’ Nami announced.

   'Okay, okay.’ Nojiko replied.

   'Ladies first, though.’ Ace cut in quick and Nami rolled her eyes.

   'One. Two. Three!’ Nami and Ace were in complete unison.

  Nami chucked back her drink and drank greedily whilst her friends and siblings were in the background; singing boisterously with the exception of Law who was merely droning the lyrics:

   'She’s a piss-pot through and through. She’s a bastard so they say. She tried to go to Heaven but she went the other way! She went… down! Down! Down!’

   Nami finished beautifully. Her grog didn’t even sting her throat. It was like drinking water. She proudly wiped her mouth and took a bow. Her friends whooped and hollered.

   'What do we think of Nami?’ Ace yelled.

   'She’s alright.’ they called back.

   'Thank you, thank you. You’re turn, freckles.’ Nami sassed Ace.

   Ace readied himself.

   'One. Two. Three!’ he and Nami yelled, again perfectly in time.

   Nami didn’t even sound like she had drunken anything alcoholic.  
Ace tipped back his head and his hat almost came off. He drank fast but already, he was showing signs of strife.

   'He’s a piss-pot through and through. He’s a bastard so they say. He tried to go to Heave but he went the other way! He went… down! Down! Down! Down!’

   Unfortunately for Ace, he couldn’t keep his booze down. He sputtered and foam went over his face and chest. It spilt onto the deck and his red-face was met with chuckling.

   'Onya, Ace.’ Law taunted.

   'What do we think of Ace?’ Nami asked boastingly.

   'He’s piss-weak!’ they called back; Law was especially loud for that one.

   'Told ya, Freckles. No one outdrinks me.’ Nami boasted.

   'Yeah, yeah.’ Ace waved Nami away.

   'C’mon, let’s start a round.’ Luffy piped up.

   'Alright, alright. I’ll lead us then.’ Sabo said. ‘Hey Baba Reeba!’ 

   'Hey Baba Reeba.’ the rest sang. 

   'Pass us the reefer!’ Sabo sang with a booming, clear voice.

   'Pass us the reefer!’ 

   'I wish that all the ladies were bells in a tower!’

   'Bells in a tower.’

   'And I was the bell-boy.’

   'And I was the bell-boy!’

   'I’d hit ‘em every day.’

   'Hit ‘em every day.’


	37. Sex on the Beach (the Cocktail, Of Course)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nami's Tinder date stood her up for the second time so she succumbs to flirting with the bartender rather than going home and being miserable.

   Nami couldn’t believe it. She had been stood up by the same asshole who had stood her up the last time that HE – emphasis on the HE – had set up. She wasn’t going to cry though. That dickhead wasn’t worth the salt.   
But was she going to spend the rest of her night miserable?

   Yes, yes she was.

   She swivelled around and pushed her hair back. She hadn’t even being wearing this dress – black, satiny, shining – for half an hour and she was already going to take it off. And not in a fun way. Not that she was expecting to do that tonight anyway. He would have been lucky to have gotten a good night kiss if even had showed up.

   That’s what she gets for trusting Tinder for her date nights.

   'Mademoiselle, leaving so soon? You haven’t even ordered a drink yet?’

  Nami sighed. ‘I’m really not in the mood.’ She growled as she turned back to face the bar.

   It had been the bartender addressing her. She hadn’t really noticed him before as she had been too busy waiting for an apology text or better yet: for the guy to actually turn up between the night club’s glass doors.

   But now, she was kind of glad that she was taking the moment to notice the bartender. He was kind of handsome; and it wasn’t just the low light. He had a respectable build and was wearing a very smart suit with a lovely, peachy coloured shirt. Very bold, very brave, and one of Nami’s favourite colours too. 

   He had luscious, blonde hair swept to one side of his face and a little bit of stubble on his chin. He strikingly blue eyes and Nami couldn’t help but maintain contact with. Not to mention that he spoke with a French accent. Very sexy although, he did lose points for his unusual eyebrow but all in all: he was much better looking than Nami’s actual date for this evening.

   'Are you leaving already, mon Cherie?’ he asked.

   'I was. Now I’m not.’ Nami replied. 

   'What can I interest you in?’ he asked.

   Nami desperately wanted to say all sorts of things but they were borderline sexual harassment given this was his workplace but Nami was here to be miserable and lonely so maybe, just maybe, she should give into such a temptation. There was a sparkle in this man’s eye. He wanted to be enticed. He’d noticed her just like she had noticed him.

   So maybe, a little bit of flirtation wouldn’t hurt. It wasn’t like they’d see each other in the morning; in their day light lives. Nami wasn’t from around this area; not even from this city as she was Swedish after all.

   'I was thinking tequila as you look like you’re going to give me a shot but I’m feeling, risqué tonight. Why not sex on the beach?’ Nami asked. ‘I’m talking about the cocktail.’

   'Obviously.’ the bartender replied but there was something about his husky voice that caught Nami’s attention and let her know that he had caught her drift.

   She wasn’t talking about the cocktail after all.


	38. Here Comes a Thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nami and Tashigi appear to be a stalemate; weighted down by their mutual feelings but their loyalties, unfortunately, shall cross each other in battle.

   Tashigi readied her blade. Her face stern and her mind quiet. Her breaths were steady but her heart was running at a million miles per hours. She knew what she had to do though she may not like it.

   Nami wasn’t as calm. She may have looked it but inside, she was frenzied. A complete and utter typhloon where words held no meaning. She was blank. Staring. Heart racing and the only thing grounding her was the cool metal her Clima Tact was crafted from. But with a fearful swing, she soon turned it hot but she held on regardless. 

   'Na-Nami…’ Tashigi cried out. Pathetic.

    _I love you.  
_

**I love you**.

  _I’m sorry_.

    **I’m sorry.  
**

   'Tashigi?’ Nami asked.

   ‘I understand.’ Tashigi stated. She bowed her head sagely and took a breath. 

   The clutter inside of them both was gone. The storm had passed. The calm was no longer a façade but a state of truth to them both.  
The obscene crunch of metal against metal followed. It was hard to tell who came forward first. Who desecrated their mutual pining. Both had been lightning fast and resolute; standing by their idea of justice and loyalty even though it meant they had to pick.

   Her?

   Or them?

   Tashigi: For justice. For the Marines. For the World Government.

   Nami: For loyalty. For the Strawhat Pirates. For Luffy.

   It hurt. Oh it hurt. Each blow to the other was a blow against themselves. It was terrible but each strike, each lash, was for something bigger than them both. They understood one another.

   Their fight was a conversation.


	39. Coarse Like the Desert | Soft Like Silks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kohza takes a moment to savour a kiss with his beautiful Queen.

   Kohza took a breath. He knew she was tough. Tougher than the desert with all its strength but still, beneath him, she felt so fragile. Like, if he were to handle her too roughly she would be break. She’d kill him if he ever told her that.

   His thumb traced over her lips. She smiled but quirked an eyebrow: slightly questioning why he was taking so long to kiss her. He just needed a moment to admire her. She was perfect.   
She was soft. Scented with oils and perfumes from domestic and abroad. She was blue blood and had the aura of welcomed rain.  
And he?

   He was the coarse sand of the desert. He was grizzled bones and raw, rough skin. He was sweat and stench. He’d never been further than the borders; he didn’t know the world like she did. He only had that brute strength whereas she was sly and clever and tough despite wearing the softest silks.

   Amazing.

   And when he kissed her, that didn’t matter. None of that mattered. In this beautiful moment, they were lovers. They weren’t Queen and her guard. They were lovers. Lovers who were still in that fumbling honeymoon phase where everything was honey and sugar; nothing could hurt them or tear them apart.

   The moment soon crumbled. Kohza’s hands caressed Vivi’s face and he held up her chin. Short, hot breaths skittered over his lips and he was blessed with her smile.


	40. Wanted Posters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smoker has to resist the unusual urge of wanting stare at an unusual wanted poster.

   Pirate wanted posters were all the same, in Smoker’s highly educated and highly solicited opinion. They were all dark and gritty. A snarl and a swear word on the lips: captured in time to truly convey the horror of the seas that they were.

   That’s why, he was a surprise to come across this one. He was expecting something fearsome when he had heard of this debut: largest debut ever, mind you. He was expecting something completely and utterly typical of wanted posters. That was not what he got when he found in the stack Tashigi had brought in.

   Although, it was dark. Black highlighted the face and the trees rather than any other colour but other than it, was not a classically “dark” wanted poster. It was anything but really. The white of this man’s teeth and the yellow his namesake hat were strangely bright. Too bright. Although, not at bright as such a flashy bounty. He looked to be a skinny lad: likely worth his weight in gold now.

   It was that smile and the wave; the clinched eyes and the clenched cheeks. It was completely and utterly different. And Smoker wasn’t sure how he felt about it?

   Strawhat Luffy. Monkey D. Luffy.

   He didn’t have the strongest sounding moniker to go with such a number. He mustn’t have been worthy of it after all – or maybe he was and this damned photograph was doing him no justice; for want of a better word. Smoker slammed it down.

   Whatever. Pirates were pirates. It didn’t matter their name or their bounty. He would catch them.

   He let Strawhat’s wanted poster float into the messed up stack atop his desk. Smoker pulled out other fresh bounties. It was true. None compared to Strawhat’s. They were all the same. Dark. Bland. Gritty. Mediocre.

   And of course, he’s only talking about the numbers. That’s all what mattered to him. Scaling up and down; working out who was where on the scale so he would know how to scatter his men should these lowly bastards stick their necks out in his Logue Town.

   But his mind kept wandering to the strangely bright image that was contrary to the rest. It was bizarre. There was a strange magnetism; a new impulse where it should not have been. And strangely enough, it was an impulse Smoker was having trouble resisting. An impulse he was within an inch of succumbing to.

   He looked the other way, grumpy and fuming that he was indulging himself like that. He had his head propped up in his hand and his fingers guarded his frown. His other hand, it was meandering towards that dreadful wanted poster belonging to Strawhat Luffy.


	41. A Really Cool Feather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy finds a really cool feather and his first response is to, of course, use it to irritate Marco.

   'Look at this really cool feather I found!’ Luffy announced as he came close to Marco.

   The feather in question was huge. It was white with scarlet tips, Marco didn’t recognise it as belonging to his limited knowledge of avian species.

   'Pretty.’ Marco commented idly.

   'Look! It’s bendy.’ Luffy continued then demonstrated his point. The quill was extremely flexible.

   Luffy pursed his lips and his eyes widened.

   'What’s wrong, Luff?’ Marco asked.

   Luffy smiled thinly: big lipped and with squinting eyes. Marco’s blood ran cold. He knew that look. That was the look Luffy had when he stumbles upon a devious idea. Marco started to go backwards but with his rubber body, Luffy easily stopped him by throwing his arm forward and looping him like a lasso.

   He brought them close with a chuckle. They were practically nose-to-nose now.

   'What’re you planning, punk?’ Marco asked.

   Luffy loosened his grip and he started to tickle Marco.

   'Not gonna work, Luffy. I’m not ticklish.’ Marco announced.

   'You sure?’ Luffy asked with a quirk of his eyebrows.

   'Certain.’ Marco replied.  
Luffy grinned: teeth and all this time. Marco rolled his eyes. He knew exactly where this was going.

   Luffy leaned in and kissed Marco’s lips. Marco sighed into the kiss but ultimately kissed back. This kid was a dweeb. A cute dweeb but a dweeb nonetheless.

   On the bright side, Luffy’s grip on him with loosening with each second the kiss persisted for.

   And then he felt on the back of his neck: that damn feather. Marco swallowed hard and stomped backwards. Luffy persisted with the tickling until he managed to elicit a forced laugh from Marco.

   Mission accomplished.


	42. He Was Safety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaya struggles on a stormy night; unable to cope with her fears and aloneness. But, she is soon able to strike the match of courage inside of herself when she remembers that not even the bravest warriors of the sea are truly free from cowardice.

   It was a horrible, horrible night and Kaya couldn’t sleep. It was storming outside and there was a scent in the air. It was thick and strong: musty. It was suffocating.

   Thunder cracked the sky in half and lightning sped through the cracks: lighting them up white. The noises and flashes were horrible. Kaya was spooked each and every time but every time, they got worse. Her breaths got shorter and her genuine fear became stronger. It was terrible.

   She was trembling in bed. She bunched her silk sheets up behind her hands and she ried to calm herself. She made a little bit of progress but the loudest sheet of rain and thunder caused her to cry. She was so afraid. So scared and alone.

  She had no one. She would have loved to have Clahador – no, Kuro. She would have loved to have had Kuro on a night like this. As evil as he was, he still was held fondly in her heart because of all those years spent getting her to trust him. She needed someone. And apparently… anyone would do.

   To make matters even more unbearable, Merry lived out of town and with such rain, there was surely to be flooding. He had to spend the night out at his own house so he could maintain the fort there. It wasn’t supposed to be raining at all this weekend. And Merry had told her that even if it did rain like it was, then it would be a good experience for Kaya. It would teach her how to thrive on her own and that could be a crucial part of her recuperation after all her depression.

   But now, she’s thinking, that it’ll just make everything worse.  
However, the worst part of this situation was that she didn’t even have Usopp to calm her in the morning. He was afar. Voyaging the world. Becoming a toughened warrior of the sea. He was living her dreams.

   If only she could be like him. Brave and foolish. That alone would help her weather the storm.

   She took a breath. She may not have Usopp now, but she still had her precious, treasured memories of him. She took another breath and imagined him as clearly as she could. She tried to imagine that he was right here beside her; anchoring her and relieving her of her fears with jokes and stories.  
Another breath and a determined glare was thrown out towards the blurred windows.

   'I am Kaya of Syrup Village! And I shall be the bravest doctor to ever heal people! I shall not be overwhelmed by a seasonal storm!’ she shouted.

   She let go of her breath. Her eyes widened and it must have been her imagination, but it was like nature itself bowed to her will to be courageous.


	43. Away in the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Princess Koala has had her heart stolen by a gentleman thief but she insists on letting him steal the rest of her body as well.

   A yellow feather tucked behind a grey sash on a blue hat adorned with goggles. It was an unusual look. Hence why Koala was able to remember it. That and said headwear was being worn by a very unusually handsome fellow; despite the scars upon his face.

   She had been awed by him. His wavy hair, the gap in his teeth, his good natured smile, his nose, his cheeks, his scars: everything about him and the blue garb he wore. Even though it was a uniform of some description, one Koala did not recognise, this man was utterly one in a million.

   Koala hoped to see him at the ball tonight.

   Tonight, was her inauguration. She would be presented to all the men from all the neighbouring countries; and afar too. She was like an obligatory gift. Whoever took her hand, took the riches and prosperities of her land.

   She hoped to charm a gentleman prince tonight. A kind, handsome warrior of gentleness and wisdom. It seemed like too high a hope when she was but a pawn in her father’s grand schemes of achieving a safer future.

   Prince after prince, duke after duke: they all danced with her but none, none had managed to steal the heart of Princess Koala. Her eyes were lonely. Her movements shy. No one could change that, until, an unusual gentleman with a mask spun into her life.

   He had deft movements. He was skilled; sleek and careful. Every action he took was precise and calculated but that was what Koala noticed first about him. Or perhaps second in hindsight. He kept her spinning and moving until she was dizzied.

   With that, she frowned: 'Haven’t you any other dances?’

   'Merely following the music, my lady.’

   Another swirl and her gown – silvery-blue and adorned with crystals – shone and flirted beneath the candle lit chandelier.

   The music stopped and her partner stopped: perfectly in time; perfectly so both his and the Princess’ breasts met. He was close to her face and with that, Koala finally was given an opportunity to acquaint herself with her mystery partner.

   No wonder he was a strange gentleman, he was no gentleman at all.

   His eyes were blue like the ocean; free like the sky. He had a smile that was pert; like he had a secret.

   Koala was left breathless. She even felt weightless.

   'I know.’ She managed to reply at last; right before a rising crescendo of the violinists in the background.

   'Is that so, my dear?’ he asked.

   'You’re the guard. From earlier.’ Koala said. She stopped herself from adding: “A pigeon amongst the doves.” She didn’t know why but she wanted to make sure no one found a commoner had danced with her – the Princess. She wanted to make sure that no one found out that a commoner had been the one to steal her heart.

   'Indeed I am.’ he whispered.

   'What do you want?’ Koala asked. Because that’s all people ever wanted from her: something. And she knew this charming commoner would be no different.

   'I’ve already taken it.’ he said.

   The lights were cut off and the chandelier went swinging. Women in the ballroom screamed as men grumbled; prepared to fight as something was amiss. The orchestra’s instruments came to a screeching halt.

   Koala touched upon her neck. No wonder she felt weightless. Her family jewel’s – heavy diamonds and lapis lazuli stones and pearls – had been pilfered right from underneath her nose. Somehow, she wasn’t mad.

   'A thief.’ Koala mumbled; a little awed.

   'Indeed I am, my lady. Thieves, actually – you will find it was my brother Ace with his power over fire who took the lights; and I suspect my brother Luffy will cause chaos any moment now. he said. ‘And I must take my leave.’

   He took a sweeping bow. His hands drifted away from Koala’s but she held him tight. He smiled solemnly and humoured her: placing a kiss upon her delicate gloves. It was strange, perhaps it was because it was dark, but where his lips touched her gloves; it was like they stained.

   'At least tell me your name, Mister Gentleman Thief, as you have stolen something far more precious than a necklace tonight.’ Koala said.

   'And what would that be, Princess Koala?’

   'My heart.’ Koala replied firmly.  
He smiled to himself. A dreadful, sorrowful smile that wrenched Koala’s heart. She frowned; eyes watering.

   'Sabo. You may call me Sabo.’

   'Don’t you want to steal the rest of me?’ Koala asked.

   He paused. He extended his hand. ‘You must be quick, Princess. Furthermore, you may not like the life that awaits should you be stolen back?’

   Koala ripped off of her gloves. She firmly accepted Sabo’s hand with a determined look. She had no regrets as she stole off into the mysterious night with the gentleman thief and his nonplussed but chuffed brothers.


	44. No Use Worrying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A story is unfolding and Smoker is concerned about his place in it. He has a hunch that Strawhat is the protagonist.

   This was undoubtedly one of those “fixed point in time” things that Smoker had heard about.

   Yeah, he read those science journals and reports that Dr Vegapunk and his lot put out. He doesn’t want to but he does.  
Smoker was by no means a scientist but he did have two eyes of his own and a generous dollop of common sense; that alone put him further ahead than most people. So, he is quite certain that everything that just conspired was a “fixed point in time”.

   He knocks back his third beer. It’s the only explanation and he’s not drunk. He’s pissed off but he’s not drunk. Yet. He wants to be.

   'Bartender.’ He calls out.

   'On it.’ 

   It was the only explanation as to why one of Roger’s brats, Strawhat Luffy having that straw hat, and the head of the Revolutionaries all in one place at the same time. Smoker’s not going to lie: he’s afraid for the future. Especially if “Monkey D. Luffy” shares a family name with “Monkey D. Dragon”.

   Fuck, thinking that alone sent a cold shiver down his spine.

   He can’t worry about it. No use worrying about it. After all, the storm had only just begun. This was just the mild drizzle before the true rage is felt. However, what Smoker does allow himself to worry about is how does he fit into it?

   Or is he just being a conceited prick? 

   Thinking he has a place on such a grand stage.

   He snickers to himself. He might be afraid and in denial of worry but he has to admit: he’s excited.

   Where will the story go from here?

   He grabs his next beer and put the glass to his lips. He closes his eyes. 

   Yeah, no use worrying.


	45. Bras 'N' Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tashigi has a bra fitting and a very gay experience ensues.

   Tashigi was slowly and slowly going pinker in the face.

   'Hm, how’re your cups feeling? Too small; they look too small.’ the sales assistant examined Tashigi’s bra. 

   The tags were digging into her back but truth be told, other than that: Tashigi was right as rain. The sales assistant- Hina, according to her floral name tag – had picked out a delightfully complementary bra. Tashigi wouldn’t have picked it for herself: it was very, um, sexy in favour of a very flowery description regarding lace and sky blue colours. It was very, very comfortable too but, it was only Tashigi’s breasts that were feeling comfortable in this situation.

   Tashigi was panicking. She hadn’t expected to get roped into a very intimate fitting with a very beautiful sales assistant. So now, she was all jittery and sweating… oh god, she probably stank now.

   'Excuse, ma’am, I asked: how are your cups feeling?’

   'Tashigi. It’s Tashigi.’

   'Oh, well, Tashigi, for the last time: how are your cups feeling?’

   'Great. Never better.’ Tashigi replied, a tad stiff.

   The woman smacked her lips together and grinned. ‘I’m glad. Want me to find more bras that size for you?’

   'N-No, I’m actually in the market for more sports bras.’

   'That’s a shame, a pretty gal like you deserves to be in pretty lingerie.’ Hina announced.

   'Th-Thanks?’

   Wait, was that a compliment?   
Tashigi can’t tell. Her brain is currently boiling inside her skull because the mere thought of having a goddess-like woman with pink hair and perfect skin and radiates confidence, complimenting her seemed astronomically unlikely.

   'Here, let me find you some comfy sports bras then. You know, I can tell you work out. What do you do?’

   'Weights. But th-that’s just to supplement my main profession: swordsmanship.’ Tashigi rambled.

   She tried not to look at Hina but Tashigi did. And it was a good thing because Hina was visibly impressed by Tashigi’s response but at the same time, there was something more to her eyes. Something almost… lustful. But Tashigi had to be imagining that: simply frazzled by her experience thus far with her bra fitting.

   Hina soon found the perfect bras for Tashigi and made her try them on one by one just to make sure they fitted Tashigi right.

   Sometimes, the tag lied. Tashigi didn’t mind. After a while, she became chuffed by the idea of such a pretty woman ogling at her.

   There wasn’t a ranking high enough on the quick customer survey Hina had Tashigi do when she finally made it to the check out. Needless to say, Tashigi was definitely more than “satisfied” with her intensive fitting. 

   'Hope you have a great day.’ Hina said; finally releasing Tashigi from her very intense clutches.

   'Th-Thank you; you too… Hina.’ Tashigi replied awkwardly.

   Hina winked as Tashigi left. Tashigi decided not to take that too seriously until she got home and started de-tagging her new purchases. She found her receipt and written on the back – in lovely if stocky handwriting – was a phone number and love-heart with “Hina” written inside it.


	46. The Empress' Speech

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin is enchanted by Boa Hancock's presence but in love with her eloquence.

   Never had Robin ever encountered such a marvellous anomaly before. She was absolutely in awe.

   Amazon Lily was beautiful; and even reminded Robin a little home with the flourishing, emerald green flora surrounding small homes and buildings. But, that being said, Amazon Lily barely had anything in common with Ohara. It was unprecedented: an all-woman society.

   From an anthropological point of view, it was very unlikely that so many women could flourish through generation after generation and it had so many fascinating customs. One such custom would be the coming of age ceremony where a woman was allowed to leave for a short period of time for the express purpose of getting pregnant. She wondered if there was a scientific reason as to why biologically female children are solely born on the island. Moreover, what about gender? Were any transwomen present here? Or people designated female at birth but not female identifying?

   So many questions, so little time. Robin had been swept through the tides. To them, she was an anomaly but a welcomed one as she was part of Strawhat Luffy’s crew. She was being taken straight to their leader; their Empress Boa Hancock. Robin couldn’t be more thrilled.

   But all that having been noted, she was very much at home here.  
It helped that she was being offered all the luxuries of the island; being invited to the Empress’ inner most sanctums; being introduced to all the aristocrats and other high ranking officials of Amazon Lily. That alone interesting too. Robin wanted to delve in closer with the sociological structures of Amazon Lily. There was so much to learn.  
Yet, Robin’s mind emptied when she arrived.

   The Empress.

   A hush fell over the ladies. Their cheeks blossomed in pink tones and they whispered excitedly. Robin smiled politely; she had heard good things of Empress Boa but she couldn’t ignore the bad either.

   Her breath dissipitated before her. Even Robin, stoic and icy, was warmed by the beauty of Boa Hancock. The rumours did not do her justice.

   She was gorgeous: ivory skin, untouched hands, and dressed in expensive silks that drew out the paleness of her skin and the darkness of her ebony hair. She had lovely rouged lips and a stature that radiated confidence. She truly seemed like one a million. A goddess walking among mere mortals. Even Robin was compelled by that beauty.

   It was Hancock’s wit, however, that secured more than Robin’s aesthetic preferences. She addressed her women regally: delighted at their treatment of their special guest. She sauntered through the room and sat next to Robin. She held onto Robin’s hands as she spoke.

   Hancock may be ethereal in appearance; divine in scent and presence but she was more than her appearance. Her words were carefully selected. Her intellect was incomparable. In the tropical air, it was like her words gleamed and Robin was left awed by the manner of speech Hancock used.

   Robin believes that she may be infatuated with Hancock now. Because she can tell, deep in her heart, that Hancock could easily turn her to stone; in fact, she could also feel the graininess of stone in her fingers as her gaze towards Hancock had been unerring for quite some time now.


	47. Burning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji does not handle the news of Ace's death well; but better than some.

   The news that Ace had died hit hard and hit everywhere. It was splashed across in ink on every newspaper and was on the lips of everyone.

   "Did you hear? Fire Fist Ace was killed!”

   Sanji couldn’t escape and he wishes that he could.

   He had vomited when he first saw the articles. He couldn’t believe it. What a way to go. Sanji couldn’t imagine a more painful way: murdered by having a pillar of magma pushed through your heart. Not to mention, having your little brother inches away from you and grandfather look on.

   They couldn’t have given him a palpable execution, could they? Shot through the brain so he didn’t feel a thing. No, instead, he had wound up with a wound far greater than the human imagination could provide. The singing skin, the burning sensations, Sanji can’t even begin to comprehend the pain.

   Only his own pain in the wake of it. He was Ace’s lover. Known him for barely a year. Sanji didn’t even want to imagine Luffy’s pain. It would be worse. Way worse.

   For now, the best Sanji could do was throw himself into his training. It’s what Luffy wants after all but still, in his down time, he’s found a good way to cleanse himself of his pain. Every time he finds a newspaper recounting the horror story that is Portgas D.

   "Fire Fist” Ace’s death, he burns that shit.

   Straight into an orange-red fire that dances melancholically as it attempts to eat Sanji’s pain.

   It doesn’t work but its better than nothing.


	48. Duologue Only

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji and Luffy blow of steam by screaming obscenities into the night air.

   Sanji hastily lights up a cigarette and he shoves it between his lips. Today’s been a day of losses. He chews on the end of it and clamps his hands over the edge of the railing. He doesn’t notice Luffy sitting on the figurehead; he blends in with the darkness. It’s on the cusp of midnight.

   'Fuck.’

   Luffy chuckled.

   'What the fuck?’ Sanji yelped. He recoiled away and sighs when he sees it’s just Luffy.

   'It’s been a bad motherfucking day, hasn’t it?’ Luffy replied. He twists around and bears a huge grin. ‘Tomorrow will be better. We’ll get back at those fucked up bastards; don’t you worry.’

   'You don’t normally swear that much.’ Sanji pointed out.

   'Sometimes, cussing is great for the fuckin’ soul. You were doin’ it first, weren’t you Sanji?’

   'Heh. True.’ Sanji admitted.

   'C’mon, scream “fuck” with me – it’s heaps of fun.’ Luffy insisted.

   'Ugh, fine.’ Sanji replied and he removed his cigarette from his mouth. Its smoke trailing off into nowhere.

   The two took a deep breath; then released it with a booming voice: ‘FUCK!’

   Sanji smiled; laughed a little bit. 

   Luffy chuckled too.

   Yeah, it had been a bad day but it was always darkest before dawn. Tomorrow, they would fix all their problems. Forcibly; of course, with their fists because that was the only way they knew how. Except, apparently, for just screaming “fuck” but that was more a short term solution.


	49. Tongue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smoker and Luffy make out against a wall.

   Luffy’s right hand grappled against the grainy, cement wall. Already, he was hot and bothered. His fingers dug in as his legs did naught to support him. With his left hand, he held on tighter to Smoker’s shoulders. 

   Smoker may be tall and huge but there were some definite and decisive advantages of being a rubber man.

   He smiled. Teeth chinked together on accident. Slowly, Luffy was enticed. His mouth opening slightly wider after each kiss that got gradually messier. 

   Smoker tasted exactly like he sounded: heavy, raw, and sickly but Luffy didn’t care. He savoured it. No wonder nicotine was addicted and Smoker, well, he was basically made of the stuff. This was their first, serious kiss with loosely hidden lustful intents and already, Luffy was hooked.

   Normally, their kisses were here and there. Few and far between but this. This was different. It was engulfing. Addictive.


	50. Savouring Domesticity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro is cuddled up and asleep against Tashigi whilst it storms outside.

   The rain was quiet, but nonetheless a storm. It felt distant but Tashigi could hear the splatter of raindrops across the glass pane. She yawned and smiled to herself. She’d never felt quite so well-rested in a very long time.

   In her hands, a chipped mug of coffee warmed her. It smelt cheap but it tasted fine. Across her back and shoulders, she had a thinning blanket draped. She sat, snugly on the leather lounge, with another blanket spread over her and Zoro. Her shoulder was stiff – slowly going to fuzzy with pins-and-needles. She didn’t mind. 

   She let out a slow sigh and rested her head against Zoro’s. He was sound asleep and not snoring for a change. It was wonderful, really. Perfectly domestic. Tashigi never thought she would ever be allowed a moment like this; quiet, safe, tranquil. Not with the lives she and her partner had led.

   Like thunder to a child, this moment was something of an illusion. It made sense. There was an explanation for it but it wouldn’t last. So for now, Tashigi would take her coffee to her lips and drink deeply. Savouring it.


	51. What Are You, 12?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perona is the type of gal who wants to know everything about everyone. Right now, she wants to know who Bonney is crushing on.

   Perona had a grand and victorious grin upon her face as she stomped over to Bonney who was inspecting her pizza; feet kicked upon the ottoman and with a mug of milk and malt in her other hand.

   Bonney watched idly as Perona approached: all swinging ruffles and ponytails. Whatever it was that Perona wanted to say to her, was not going to be amusing the slightest. Bonney just knew it so she took a bite of her pizza – stringy cheese and pure grease – and then washed it down with a continuous swig of her drink.

   'I know who you like!’ Perona announced.

   Bonney spat out her milk and was left with chocolate and foam on her upper lip. Perona, having predicted such a thing, was unscathed by the resulting, frontward splatter and had used her Fruit to turn her intangible.

   'Gross.’ Perona muttered.

   'What are you, twelve?’ Bonney snarled.

   'Yes. On a scale of one to ten anyway.’ Perona quipped.  
Bonney rolled her eyes. ‘I’ll make you look twelve in a minute.’

   'I’d rather if you didn’t.’ 

   'Ugh, so, uh, who told you that?’ Bonney asked as she wiped her mouth with her forearm. 

   'Basil.’ Perona replied.

   'He’s a lying bastard. Whatever he told you.’ Bonney announced and decided that she’d guzzle down what remained of her drink. She finished it up and let the mug hang on her finger as she watched Perona pout. ‘Ugh, so what did he tell you?’

   'That you like someone close to you so it must be Zoro.’ Perona replied. 

   'Gross. Who would like that moss-head?’ Bonney asked.  
Perona came in closer. She put her hands on her hips and bent downwards so that she could be eye level with Bonney regardless of how slothful and slumped she was on the lounge. Perona stared beadily with pursed lips and suspicious.

   Bonney’s heart skipped a beat but glared back; never one to refuse a challenge.

   'You. Are. Lying.’ Perona enunciated.

   'You don’t know that.’ Bonney replied with a scant blush in her cheeks. 

   Turns out, this wasn’t a challenge she could win as her eyes could no longer meet Perona.

   'I’m still going to find out who you like. I know you’re lying. Basil said you liked someone,’ Perona came in closer to Bonney’s face than before; so close, it was like their noses were about to touch , ‘very close to you.’

    _You have no idea, sweetheart._ Bonney thought to herself with a wry smirk.

   'Hmph. Silent treatment. Yeah, I’m the twelve year old here.’ Perona muttered and she straightened up. ‘I bet Zoro will tell me.’

   'Sure, sure.’ Bonney sighed and waved Perona off.

   But as soon as Perona left, Bonney lost all of her composure. Her heart raced. Her cheeks were as pink as her hair. She couldn’t believe Perona was such an idiot. Wasn’t it obvious?

   Basil was referring to Perona when he told her that Bonney’s crush was “someone close to her”. But it, is that headstrong foolishness that Bonney finds adorable about Perona…


	52. Honey, We're All Gonna Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makino doesn't understand how Shanks can live so happily despite the crushing realities of his lifestyle as a pirate.

   Makino doesn’t get it. Maybe it’s because she’s sheltered and brought up to be the lovely, little lady expected of her – or maybe, she just has common sense – but she doesn’t get it. She likes observing it though; seeing this confusing, little thing in action. She likes engaging with it theoretically but in practice? Oh hell no.

   Like always, booming and raucous voices filled her bar. It made her smile and she hummed along with the tune they were singing. Binks’ Sake had always been a fan favourite song; including one of her own.

   'Makino!’ the loudest of all the voices rang out to her.

   'Yes, Shanks?’

   'Come dance with me. Lucky is about to start playing the violin; and he’s sober!’ 

   'I can’t. I’m working, you dunderhead.’

   Both of them laughed but like the air carried the music, Makino drifted out from behind her wooden counter and was taken by Shanks’ roughhewn hands. He took her firmly but gently. Her heeled shoes clopped against the wooden floor and the dance between them that ensued was jolly and offbeat. Shanks was very much an unconventional dancer: he preferred his partner to be straight with him; that, of course, meant breast-to-breast.

   'I don’t know how you do it.’ Makino lamented.

   'What, aren’t you having fun?’ Shanks asked; mock offended.

   'No, no, I’m having a grand old time.’ Makino laughed.

   'Then what’s the problem?’

   'Well, for starters, I really need to be working.’

   'You are! Entertaining guests is a crucial part of any good bar wench’s job description.’

   'Not like this!’

   They laughed again. Shanks spun Makino and though she fumbled her footsteps, Shanks kept alright and soon, they were once again facing each other in a close position.

   'I need to reiterate myself then.’

   'Go ahead.’

   'You live, everyday like it’s a party. Aren’t you ever bored of it?’

   'I’m an extravert.’

   'There has to be something more. It’s all fun games, isn’t it? Until someone gets hurt. Any minute now, a Marine could visit. And see you and you’re red hair and think: today’s the today… then, blam! A bullet in your head.’

   'You think too much, Maki.’

   'Or maybe you don’t think enough.’

   'You’d be surprised.’ Shanks said with a quirk of his eyebrows.

   'How so?’

   'Strikhedonia.’

   'That doesn’t even sound like a word.’

   'Ah, but it is. It means a philosophy of “to hell with it”. Makino, do you ever worry that you’ll die one day?’

   'I mean, yes.’

   'Then what’s the problem? You are just as likely to get a bullet in the brain as I. If the Marine from your scenario tries to shoot me whilst we’re dancing like this, you could get in the cross-fire, then I’d kill the bastard out of revenge, go into a downward spiral, and die of old age as an unwed bachelor.’

   'Shanks.’

   'Yes, Makino?’

   'You really are a fool.’

   'I try my best, Makino.’

   'I love you.’

   'I love you too.’


	53. What Are the Chances?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy wonders how his smiley older brother ended up with two of the least smiley people ever.

   When Luffy thinks of Ace, the first thing – it’s always the first thing – is that smile of his: dimples in his cheeks, bright teeth flashing, and crinkled eyes. He doesn’t just smile: he grins and beams. 

    And then, the second thing Luffy remembers when he thinks of Ace is that laugh of his. Its big and from the deepest parts of his belly. He has to hold himself once he starts laughing. And anything can start him off; from a funny sound to an actual, articulated joke.   
 

  Which is why, Luffy doesn’t get it. He’s supportive of his brothers choices but seriously: fucking why?

   Why did he decide to fall in love with the two most grumpy people – and Luffy had met a lot of people – that never laugh. Or even smile. And if one of them were to smile, it would be most certainly be a cursed day of opposites and Luffy is positive that that should never occur because it may mean he’s accidentally wandered into a mystery portal that dumped him into a forbidden alternative.  
Seriously Ace, why?

   Luffy guesses it may because opposites attract.


	54. Like a Bride to Husband

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ace has left a will. Something no one expected.

   Marco couldn’t believe it.

   They were going through Ace’s things and pawning them throughout the crew; as per custom. And his diary came up. Nobody knew that he kept such a thing. It was an innocuous, scarlet leather-bound book with hilarious poor handwriting. Most the crew couldn’t believe he could write; then again, it was misconstrued with incorrect grammar and flawed spelling but it was a record of his time nonetheless.

   And inside of it, was a very strange thing: a will.

   It was customary for pirates to simply auction of their dead men’s stuff. No one liked thinking of how they would die; let alone prepare for it and yet, Ace had. That being said, he only had one thing in his so-called will.

    **I want marco to look afta Luffy when im gon. lik bryd to husband.**

   Naturally, the crew – looking for joy in the midst of heartache – decided to run with it. Turn it into a joke so now, Marco had managed to find himself in a very strange – albeit hypothetical – spot. According to Ace’s “vague” wishes.

   'We ride at dawn!’ Izo announced. ‘To Marco’s wedding to Monkey D. Luffy!’

   Great laughter followed suit. But it seemed so unreal. So forced. Unhappy.


	55. The Happy Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You shouldn't bother with a relationship doomed from before the start. But they had and they would ride it through all the ups and downs; all the way to the predetermined, grisly end.

   It was happy times now but both knew it wouldn’t last forever.  
Both were at odds with the law at times. But with Smoker, it would be a slap on the wrists: de-promotion, being fired, nothing that would screw him over. And for Luffy? His flirting with disaster would only invite his death. 

   Both men accepted this. From beyond they were even aware of each other’s existences, they were aware that their justices would put them at cross-hairs and for one of them, it would be mean death one day because as a pirate; that Jolly Roger was an omen of death for all that flies under it. For their enemies; for themselves. 

   Kill or be killed. An unhappy fate for one of them but again, for now, in this bubble of serenity and confusion, they could have their happiness unambiguously. But all bubbles pop. All confusion lifts. And all serenity turns to entropy. One day, someone would see through it and one day, someone would have to pay for their fun with their lige.

   It could be Smoker. Smoker was a Marine after all. Maybe, he would be killed first. But, in all likelihood, with his heroics and recklessness, it would undoubtedly but Luffy. But, let’s not think about that.

   Let’s just enjoy the lie. The pretence of all faring well with great fortunes on the side.


	56. Staring Blankly at Bad Jokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usopp attends a stand up comedy night at a cafe but ends up the main act when he catches the attention of a strange but very cute girl.

   She was a very pretty girl but she was honestly also quite terrifying.

   That sentence alone could sum up the entirety of Usopp’s life; and he had lived for nineteen years and given his cowardly and anxious disposition, he deserves a championship award for that.

   Usopp had noticed her, initially because she was a true beauty. A waifish stature, pale skin, big and wide eyes set again delicate, blonde hair and all wrapped up in an adorable, pastel yellow dress. She had wandered into the café, a tad bewildered but it was pretty loud and bright so that was understandable.

   However, her whole staring shtick stopped being flirtatious fifteen minutes ago. And now? It was downright creepy and Usopp was sweating bullets because of it. Had it not been for his morbid curiosity – ahem, his friends who simply love to encourage bad decisions – Usopp would have turned the other cheek and ignored her. Instead, he was had been sent to do something spectacularly embarrassing that would surely result in his untimely death.

   Strangely enough, he was somewhat okay with that.

   'Heyo, uh, sweetheart,’ he said embarrassedly; cheeks flushing and heat up. He added finger guns for a bonus.

   The girl blinked.

   'Hello.’

   'So, um, are… uh, are you an angel because you’re the only ten I see.’ Usopp garbled.

   'Excuse me?’

   'What I, uh, meant was… is you’re father an accountant because you’ve got great eyes.’

   The girl smiled and brought her hands to her mouth. She still had yet to look away from Usopp though. Although, since she wasn’t repulsively trying to escape, Usopp figured he had to be doing something right.

   'Is, um, you’re mother a baker because lady, you have sugar… on you.’

    She was laughing now. ‘I’m sorry but who are you? Are you the stand-up comedy man? I heard there’d be stand-up comedy. I love comedians.’

   'No. No, I am not he. I am Usopp.’

   'I’m Kaya. It is great to meet you, Usopp. But I must ask, do you have any jokes that match?’

   'Yes.’

   'Fabulous.’ Kaya patted the table. ‘Take a seat?’

   'That’s a table. Last time someone sat on a table here, well, the owners wouldn’t let that poor bugger sit for a week.’

   'Oh, sorry, I thought that was the chair. Sorry. Blind.’ Kaya said and she picked up an orange and white rod.

   Usopp’s heart sank. She wasn’t staring. Now he felt weird but he still liked how this conversation was going.

   'Actually, would you like to sit with my friends and I? We’re all a bunch of jokesters and you’d like Nami; she’s sweet.’ Usopp replied.

   'Only if you’re alone, of course.’

   'I dunno. I wouldn’t mind being with you.’ Kaya smiled and holy-moly; she had a very divine smile.

   'S-Sounds like a plan.’ Usopp replied.


	57. A Story of Heritage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin wants to know the story of Usopp and his family history.

   A person is not just a story of themselves but also a story of their parents and their grandparents: all of their ancestors. Every crease, every eyelash: everything about that person is written in their body and their genetics.

   Robin knows her story; the one her body tells with the way her prominent nose sits against the sky when she looks up. The way her hair goes frizzy on hot and humid days or the way its silky and straight when its mild. She knows her history and she knows more about everyone’s history: not just in face and body but lore too thanks to her knowledge of the Poneplyphs.

   Which is why, she wonders about one man in particular: Usopp of Syrup Village. 

   From what, Robin had been told about Syrup Village, and from what she knew about differing, physical appearances in her travels, Usopp and his parents (unknown grandparents) were anomalies. His mother gave him his nose; his father gave him his lips and hair texture. 

   An unknown story. That riveted Robin and she wishes she knew more.


	58. Server and Customer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a new waiter at Smoker's favourite bar and the guy catches Smoker's eye pretty quickly.

   It was a quirky bar to visit but it wasn’t the type of bar that served drinks in mason jars or the bartender had an obnoxiously sculpted beard. It had a bit of charm; a bit of character as it was a renovated iron factory. It was low-key, slightly off the beaten track. You’d have to have been lost the first time you found it. Owned by a bloke named Zeff and someone Smoker believes to be his son.

   Smoker loved the place. It smelt like rusted iron and no one gave a shit if he smoked indoors. Had good company and better beer. He’d been visiting this place for quite some time now; a few years and he had gotten to know the servers well. He was expecting Old Susan to serve him as it was a Thursday evening and that’s normally when she had shifts.

   But when he arrived, parked at his favourite bench. It was not a curly-haired old woman with lazy eye that swerved around to ask if he needed anything.

   No, this person was far more attractive, far younger, and far more male. He didn’t abide by the uniform; wore a straw hat indoors with sandals. He had a huge grin and a scar under his eye.

   'Who’re you?’

   'Monkey D. Luffy. Started working here because I accidentally put a hole in the roof.’  
Smoker chuffed. This was going to be an interesting night so he better prepare for it.

   'Get me a white Russian.’

   'On it.’

   Something about that kid’s smile, Smoker thinks to himself as Luffy ran off to the bar, that just stays on the mind.


	59. The Sky is Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nami and Tashigi are having a heartfelt conversation then come to a shocking conclusion: they cannot lie to each other.

   Nami’s heart skipped a beat; _Oh shit_ , she thought. She did not hesitate. She adapted to the new information quickly and rearranged her words to suit the new situation.

   'I apologise profoundly. I have heard of the tragedies of Cocoyashi Village and with more vigilance, yes, you could have had a happy, civilian life.’ Tashigi mourned. ‘I cannot imagine your pain.’

   Nami nodded. ‘I know, I know. What’s done is done but it’s probably a good thing. Without me, these idiots wouldn’t have been here in the first place. They would have been lost somewhere; probably dead.’

   'You carry a huge burden.’

   'Tashigi!’ Nami snapped. ‘You can stop it. Your mopey eyes are killing me. What’s done. Is done.’

   ‘I understand.’ Tashigi replied; almost taking half a step back as Nami’s suddenly raised voice had spooked her.

   'Ne, Tashigi, tell me something. Tell me something…. That isn’t true.’ Nami said. She couldn’t bring herself to an example. No matter how hard she willed herself, she couldn’t bring herself to say: “The sky is green.”

   'I, um, I am not….’ Tashigi’s mouth opened and shut; flappingly like she had no control.

   'I thought so. You can leave now, if you like. I have some other things to mull over.’ Nami replied and she turned her back on Tashigi. A snowdrift blew past.

   'Yes, I have to go tell the children the new arrangements.’ Tashigi said.

   Both women were left with beating hearts and red cheeks.  
Nami was always a sucker for a soldier with nice eyes. She was okay with this revelation.

   And Tashigi?

   She did not know what to think.


	60. Kingly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy is the rebel leader of a bold new kingdom. Sanji is a blue blooded heir sent to quell his fury in an even bolder, political move by his father.

   Monkey D. Luffy was not a king.

   But he was royal nonetheless. His own title at the top of the hierarchy. His own stance against the world. T’was an unprecedented upheaval of blood and violence. He had taken the throne by forth. Catapulting from the bottom of the bottom – a feral child from what had been heard – all the way, forging his own red blood blue. It was stupidly admirable and now, a new kingdom had surfaced in the most unpredictable way.

   His kingdom was small and aggressive. A tribe really; but he was gathering forces fast.

   Everyone wanted to be on the winning side. Born only out of fighters and he was forcibly taking land from anyone who neighboured on where he decided that he and his people would live.

   These were the disenchanted youth taking arms against the systems that oppressed them; even it had been born from stupidity and misplaced ambition. There was to be no clemency in the near future, unless, someone took the reign from the young king to be.

   King Judge of the Vinsmoke country, had a pawn to offer: a useless prince.

   "Sate him.”

   “I understand, Father.”

   And the young Prince Sanji of Vinsmoke was delivered to the camp. No name as of yet, just growls of its importance. It was dusty and decked with furs and mud. It was not a place for royalty and yet, Prince Sanji was here and as was the foe whom he was supposed to “sate”.

   It was to his understanding that here “sate” just meant play with. Keep him preoccupied so he could not advance further; so he could be killed and his stolen lands reabsorbed by the countries he had taken from.

   Sanji walked past some curtains and was met with a quiet room. It was guarded on the outside. It stank in here. A man was eating by himself. He had a war hardened look in his black eyes; a scar beneath his right.

   'It is good to finally meet you, Sanji.’

   'It is a pleasure to meet you at long last as well.’

   Luffy titled his head and frowned. He shrugged it off and invited Sanji closer. When their gazes met, an intensity was sparked. Yes, Sanji would sate him indeed.


	61. When I Was Your Age

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ace teases Law over how old he acts upon discovering that he is older than him.

   Ace drew closer with the smuggest face Law had ever seen between those freckles. Needless to say, he was disturbed by this sudden, creeping behaviour Ace was exhibiting.

   'Do you need a check-up?’ Law asked with a hint of disgust in his face; more so than usual.

  'You know Law,’ Ace drawled with sweeping hand gestures, ‘when I was your age, I was drinking booze and having fun. Not doing whatever it is you do. I think the technical term is “brood” though.’

   Ace had a somewhat gleeful face. Very smug too.

   'What are you talking about?’ Law replied, quirking an eyebrow and preparing a getaway so he could escape the oncoming conversation which would almost definitely double today’s weirdness quota.

   'I heard from Nami that you’re closer to her age than anyone else. That would make me years older than you.’

   'Then you shouldn’t be wasting your liver like that, old man.’ Law sassed.

   'But I’m older and therefore wiser than you, young’un.’ 

   'I’m the one with the PhD.’

   'I still refuse to believe you have one.’

   'Whatever you say… small child… who has no fun.’


	62. Faulty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy's soul mate timer doesn't work how it shouldn't but it's not completely faulty.

   There is a biological clock on everyone; except, it’s not how you expect. It’s not a countdown of pressure and fertility but rather, a countdown for something else. On everyone’s wrists is a literal clock and it has a number on it: a time and a date. The popular theory – yet to be substantiated by any evidence – is that is a countdown to when you meet your soul mates.

   The problem is, Luffy’s clock is faulty. It’s numbers are constantly changing. Constantly resetting. He had a countdown for meeting Ace. A countdown for meeting Sabo. Then, leter, a countdown for meeting Coby and then Zoro then Nami and then Usopp and Sanji and then Vivi and then Chopper and then Robin and then Franky and then Brook then Law and then Shirahoshi and then, well, pretty much everyone he’s ever met. Anyone who needs his help and friendship. So, it’s no wonder that Luffy gave up on this biological clock because, clearly, his is faulty. But now, his clock is even faultier than ever.

   Its counting backwards now. 

   Luffy hadn’t even noticed that the date had changed to a timeslot that had already passed until Nami had pointed it out. 

   So, Luffy wonders: who did he meet on this date? It looked vaguely familiar but calendars and clocks had little relevance at sea. It was more about: day one, day two, date three – not proper dates. It was their day to seize. They ran parallel to these biological clocks.

   But then, Luffy encountered Smoker again and his wrist got strangely itchy. They met for a moment then split off again. Out of sheer curiosity, Luffy checked. The numbers had disappeared. They always disappeared for a little bit.

   'Smokey… huh? So he needs my help.’

   This time, they disappeared for almost a month. Of course, within that month, Luffy was more than able to get close to Smoker – this time, a lot closer than usual. A lot closer than he was with his crew; or maye just closer in a different way as Luffy would kiss Smoker on the mouth now but he wouldn’t do the same for Zoro.

   Of course, by the end of the month, the numbers returned. Someone new needed to meet Luffy but he’d keep those numbers – the negative date – close to his heart. 

   Maybe soul mates were real.

   Maybe, just not in the classical fairy tale way. Or maybe exactly in that way and others. Luffy thinks he knows the answers now; to the biological clock.


	63. Love is Like a Punch to the Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just Smoker's luck. He meets his soul mate because of a punch to the Face; moreover, this bloke is a pirate too. Fan-fucking-tactic.

   Red. A gush of red followed when Strawhat’s fist collided with Smoker.

    _Well fuck me sideways_ , Smoker thought to himself; only to return the favour with a heavy-fisted slug to Strawhat’s face.

   He always wondered if red was as dark as they said. Yep, he can now confirm. It’s on his knuckles and its unholy as to how vibrant it is. Too bad this wasn’t exactly the loveliest moment that the story books would have wanted. Worse yet, he didn’t exactly have time to marvel at the sky either because fucking hell, it is a wonder – all blue and beautiful.

   Another punch. This time a kick. A fight between Marine and Pirate was hardly the way to meet your soul mate. This is just Smoker’s luck to be honest. He tells himself, that there’s no way this could get worse. Maybe it’s an omen of some kind but he’s never been the type to truly believe that.

   Of course, as events transpire, things only get worse but at least, at least he can see the green in the clouds as lightning strikes. He honestly thought that was some kind of lie but no, the clouds do tinge green and, better yet, they weren’t the kind of green on

   Tashigi’s sword’s hilt. Boy would he have a surprise for her later.  
From this, Smoker can conclude: the world really is going to shit and if this moment in his life is to judge, it’s going to only get stranger from here.


	64. Chubby Cheeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's absurdly late at night - early in the morning - which is the only justification Coby can give himself as to why he is letting Helmeppo cop over him like this.

   Coby furrowed his eyebrows. He literally didn’t know why he was allowing this, but he was. Maybe it was because they were bored and not able to sleep and it was three in the morning, but still: Coby should reclaim some dignity than letting this farce of what Helmeppo found “fun” continue.

   'Like a little chipmunk.’ Helmeppo cooed.

   'Mmph.’ Coby grunted.

   Helmeppo continued to mould Coby’s face as he saw fit. He squished his lips and then pulled back his cheeks.

   'It’s like you’ve still got baby fat.’

   'Thanks man.’ Coby said; this time gritting his teeth as Helmeppo tried to see how far back he could take his cheeks. Bit by bit, Coby was losing his patience with Helmeppo. At the moment, Coby was quite certain his cheeks were touching his ears. That wasn’t a good or natural feeling. Quite the opposite actually. Terrible.


	65. Baby on Board

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The guy is has a kid and it's not mine too but it's an easy mistake to make, lady."

   When Luffy was told that he was going to be sharing dual seats with a man and his baby, he was not thrilled. He boarded first and then they squeezed in next to him; getting the window seat: how lucky. 

   Luffy tried not to glare but he didn’t have the highest hopes the man and his brat. Still, Luffy liked to think he was an optimist and it was a short flight. Moreover, the baby was actually kind of cute; and people often said he had way with toddlers.

   Luffy and the father – huge man, built like a brick house, smelt like cigars – introduced names and swapped small talk. Luffy learned the man’s name to be Smoker, divorced, and father of little Tashigi here. Beyond that, they didn’t have much to do with each other. It helped that half an hour into the flight, Smoker fell asleep.

   Luffy kept an eye on Tashigi but she was a very calm baby. She enjoyed putting her fingers up her father’s nose and ogling out the window. She gurgled now and again but she was honestly the perfect baby… until she grew bored; or maybe hungry. Maybe she had a dirty nappy.

   Anyway, point is: she started bawling like all hell. She had been the perfect little angel and now people were staring like it was Luffy’s fault. He didn’t know why but he figured he better do something until Smoker woke up; how he was sleeping through that racket was beyond Luffy.

   He attracted Tashigi’s attention and she precarious teetered between bawling and being interested. So, Luffy pinched his cheeks and he immediately started making funny faces.  
Tashigi’s eyes lit up and she started gurgling happily.

   The stewardess came by.

   'Thank you, sir, for controlling your child; I was just about to speak to you about that.’

   'She’s not my daughter.’ Luffy said abruptly. 

   'Sorry for the confusion then. Can I interest you in anything then?’

   'Maybe not me, hang on…’ Luffy glanced at Smoker and decided to jostle him. He also couldn’t help but recall that Smoker wasn’t seeing anyone currently. He didn’t even have a faded tan from a ring on his finger. ‘Oi, Smoker… Smokey…’


	66. The Coffee Table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro and Luffy get Sanji to adjudicate their petty squabble.

   Sanji sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He visibly cringed. He hadn’t heard them arguing earlier but he was now. They were loud and incessant; on top of the headache he already had. He just wanted to pass through the living room and onto the kitchen. Unfortunately, he couldn’t just beeline through. He had to pass their chairs and the coffee table.

   And now they barking at him. Yippity-yap coming from the Strawhat and the Moss-Head. Just his luck. He needed to organise dinner. Why couldn’t they just let him be? Go on through without delay?

   Because they were annoying, that’s why.

   'Can you settle this argument for us or not?’ Luffy asked with a snarly glare directed at Zoro.

   'You know what? Sure, fine. If it’ll get you two to shut up.’ snapped Sanji. ‘So, what are you two arguing about? The best way to eat a steak? What’s better: swords or punching? Do pigeons have feelings?!’

   'Damn.’ Zoro muttered.  
‘Those are all good questions which have plagued people for eons though but ours is far mor important.’ Luffy insisted.

   'This idiot thinks there isn’t a name for the bit of skin between the asshole and the dick.’ Zoro said.

   'Are you shitting me right now?’ Sanji asked.

   'No?! It totally doesn’t have a name!’ Luffy shouted.

   'Between the asshole,’ Sanji glanced at Zoro and his eyes moved to Luffy, ‘and the dick. No, there’s a name for it. The coffee table.’

   Sanji marched off. 

   Zoro started cackling to the point where he had to hold his belly.

   'Really?’ Luffy said; scrunching up his face. ‘You lick the coffee table when your tossing salad?’

   Zoro’s laughter just worsened from there.


	67. Cooking with Class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ace and Nami are rivals competing for who can score Sanji as their project partner in home economics.

   It was no secret that the best cook in Home Economics was Sanji which is exactly why Ace needed to partner up with him. Unfortunately, plenty of others had their greedy eye on such talent too.

   Ace desperately needed to partner up with Sanji though or else he would fail the grade and that would consequently mean failing the year and having the repeat. Yes, his track record was not exactly spotless. Never is, never will but still, it was time to take some initiative.

   Nami was also in need of a quick grade. She was splendid in other classes but put her in front of a sewing machine or a mixer and suddenly, she was a disaster. It annoyed her to know end. She was a practical person: excellent in science and maths but when it came to anything slightly more frivolous, she had issues. There was a reason she did not do Visual Arts; and yes, part of that reason was because she almost took out the old art teacher’s eye with a paint brush but mostly because she destroyed an entire school’s worth of pottery in the kiln too – as well as some other misadventures here and there.

   Nami and Ace were on good enough terms though. Well aware that there was a project coming up, they met outside the Home Economics’ cooking room.

   'May the best disaster win.’ Nami said as she offered her hand.

  'You’re on, Gingersnaps.’ Ace said with a charming wink.

   'Don’t call me that, Freckles.’ Nami retorted.

   Both had a good, firm grasp on each other’s hands. Their eye contact was unrelenting. True rivalry had been born in this moment and they could hear Sanji coming now. The teacher would arrive any minute now too; unless of course any minute turned into fifteen minutes and this seeming dispute rendered stupid.

   Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, the teacher did turn up. And on time too; which was a definite first. She opened the classroom and let the students inside. They took their seats and prepared themselves.

   'For this upcoming project, you will be expected to work in threes.’

   'Truce?’ Nami mouthed to Ace.

   'Truce.’ he mouthed back.

   A new pact had been created. Through knowing looks and conniving eyes. Through all sorts of tactics – flirting, doggy guarding, and more – the two were able to isolate Sanji and add him to the group.

  'I look forward to working with you both.’ He said, good-naturedly and utterly oblivious to Ace and Nami’s schemes.

   Nami pursed her lips. Sanji’s hands brushed over her shoulders. And her heart skipped a beat. That had not been authorised. She glanced at Ace and he was looking just as flushed. And in that moment, they were able to put aside all differences and were able to acknowledge something: it was not just a mere school project partnership brewing. 

   A rivalry was put to rest. And something new awakened. Not just been those competitive two but also with the best cook between them.


	68. College Students, Am I Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy steals free condoms. Sanji is worried he has an STI. They're a match made in heaven, really.

   Sometimes, you just gotta be the Stereotypical College students and this was definitely one of those times. 

   Luffy wasn’t even the type to like sex but fuck dude, he just gotta take all those free condoms simply because he’s can. Because its college and there are no real rules to be taken seriously in college. Other than don’t get expelled and having the intention to have safe sex – the safest of all the sexes as it would never happen – would not get Luffy expelled. 

   Although, that being said: he had taken some free pencils last week (again, simply because he could) and he needed some place to hold them; they wouldn’t fit in his old pencil case from high school and they kept rolling off his desk and the basket these condoms were being kept in was actually kind of cute. It was red. Luffy likes red. And it was also shaped like a love-heart. And Luffy likes love.

   So, into the wealth of condoms goes his hands and he just piling them into his bag.

  'What the ever-loving fuck are you doing?’ a voice asked from behind.

   Luffy’s blood ran cold. A blonde guy with a curly eyebrow was on the speaking. And like all college students, like Luffy, he was decked out in some utterly atrocious clothes: a Hawaiian shirt. Paired with socks and sandals. Yuck!

   The dude had guts. Luffy liked that.

   'Stealing condoms.’ Luffy replied.

   'But they’re free?’

   'Taking free condoms.’ Luffy replied; even guiltier than before.

   'You really think you need that many.’

   'Fuck no.’

   'You sure?’

   'Certain.’

   He sighed. ‘Whatever. I can’t tell you to live your life. I mean, I’m here because I’m worried I’ve got an STI. Sanji, by the way. You?’

   'Luffy. I’m here because I heard there was free condoms.’

   'Cool. We’d be quite the duo. Wanna get coffee after this?’

   'Sure.’

   And that’s how, like all good College Students, Luffy ended up with free condoms _and_ free coffee.


	69. Double Dating Means Double the Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tashigi attempts to organise a double date.

   This was going to be a lot more difficult than Tashigi first thought. Coordinating a date between her and Ace was hard enough: she had too many ideas and Ace very rarely wanted to influence her. He was down to do anything from window shopping to a dinner date; just so long as it didn’t hit his back pocket too hard. But adding another couple that was wildly different to her and Ace, oh dear lord: what was she thinking?

   Ace and Luffy had brought the idea to her first. They were brothers; used to doing everything together. Tashigi thought it would be a good and new experience I the realm of dating; especially as it was Smoker, her best friend admittedly, was Luffy’s partner.

   Oh, how innocent and naïve she was back then. It was very hard, in hindsight. Pirate-marine relations weren’t supposed to include open fraternisation.

   'There’s a flea market in town, why don’t we just go there?’ Ace suggested.

   Tashigi could hear her wallet’s soul shrivel up. She was a sucker for antiques and hadn’t factored that into this fortnight’s budget.

   'Nah, I’m not in the mood for walking.’ Luffy replied.

   'We could turn it into a game. Set a budget, whoever finds the weirdest shit wins.’ Ace bartered.

   'What would we win?’ Smoker asked; raising an eyebrow.

   'Bragging rights.’ Ace replied.

   'Fuck that.’ Smoker shrugged.

   Tashigi wanted to bang her head against a wall. Planning all this was far too hard.


	70. Ashes?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know your life is bad when the hitman sent to kill you pities you.

   You know your life is bad when the man sent to kill you is pitying you.

   Nami wasn’t in the best of places. Battered, bruised, everything a threat: unwelcome in her own house. Well, it was her apartment but only in name. He kept down the payments and he styled it and he had more to do with it than her. She felt like a goldfish in a tank too small.

   It had been okay, at first. Lovey-dovey; edged with excitement and quick tempers. But it just built up and Nami realised now, with rose coloured glasses nothing looks like a red flag. 

   And now, this was just the icing on the cake: the fucking bastard – who took his hands violently to her whenever it pleased him – couldn’t even finish the job. He’d rather lash out extravagantly; do the extra research: hire a fucking assassin.

   Well, it would seem, Arlong didn’t do a great job. 

   'You seem like a real nice gal, I’d hate to kill you. Because that’s why I’m here. To kill you.’

   The assassin had turned up to the location and Nami was more or less wasted in the kitchen. World was spinning and she was crusted in old blood. This morning had been pretty bad and she didn’t feel broken physically but emotionally, she had already been left to dead. This guy – tall, muscular, freckled, wearing an orange hat – was supposed to finish her.

   'What makes you say that?’ Nami croaked.

   'Intuition. Nami, right? I’m Ace.’

   'Meh, my life can’t get any worse from here. Just kill me.’ 

   'If your life can’t get any worse from here, why don’t I just say I killed you, send the bastard some fake ashes, and then you can be on your merry way.’

   'Ashes?’ Nami repeated.

   'They call me “Fire Fist” for a reason – only trace I leave, usually, is the ashes.’

   'Neat.’ Nami gurgled.

   'Not really. Burning a body is super hard.’ Ace complained then offered his hand. ‘What do you say? Fake a death, take a new life.’

   Nami shrugged but winced. ‘Fuck it.’

   'That’s what I like to hear.’ Ace enthused. ‘Y’know, I’ve always wanted a partner in crime. It’d be less expensive than getting a new birth certificate or whatever.’

   Nami didn’t reply but she did mull over it. Strangely tempted.


	71. Oops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usopp walks in on Robin changing. On accident of course.

   Usopp had already asked the most of the crew and none of them had seen it which was ridiculous. Well, it was ridiculous in the first place that Usopp had lost his goggles. He felt naked without them. With a little luck, Robin might know though and if not; she may even chip in by putting her eyes all over the place.

   'Hey, Robin!’ Usopp knocked on the door to the ladies’ quarters as his voice rang out.

   'In a minute.’ Robin called back; although, her voice was awfully muffled and Usopp shrugged: not having heard her properly.

   That was a mistake and a half.  
Robin, thankfully, at her back to Usopp but he still copped quite the eyeful on accident. Not that he really cared. Everyone already knew Robin was gorgeous – with or without clothes – and they were all grossly interconnected to the point personal space was a social apace. But still, hot damn did Usopp kind of enjoy what he saw: her bare skin, the curve of her spine, and the way her skirt hugged low on her waist. Very nice.

   'What part of “in a minute”…?’ Robin growled.

   'Sorry, sorry but have you seen my, uh, goggles?’ 

   Robin huffed and her eyes manifested on the doorframe.

   'Have you checked your head?’

   'Of course, I’ve checked my head!’ Usopp retorted.

   Then he awkwardly shuffled back and touched the crown of his head.

   'Okay, maybe I hadn’t checked my head.’ He mumbled as his fingers crept over the smooth glassy surface of his goggles’ lens.

   'Now, if you would excuse me, Usopp.’ Robin continued and before Usopp knew it, he was being walked out of the room by Robin’s feet which had, disturbingly, manifested beneath his own.

   'Thanks again, Robin!’ Usopp called out to her as the door slammed shut in front of him.


	72. Graffiti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koala gets to know the guy she's sharing a holding cell with.

   Koala nervously glanced to her side. She grasped tightly onto her knees and tried to assess who this man was and what his intentions were.

   He had a gap between his teeth and a blue top hat complete with goggles. Goggles might mean friend and she’s quite partial to the trend as well. He had kind of wavy blonde hair and scars; not to mention a bandage across his face. Most importantly, he had a smear of hot pink paint across his face.

   He side-eyed Koala and she averted to gaze.

   He hocked a glob of spit at the corner of the cell and spread his legs further. He acted like it was a slightly unnatural thing to do; like it was against what he was taught.

   'What’re you in for, girlie?’ he asked in a voice that seemed a little deeper than it should have been.

  _Oh_ , Koala thinks to herself as she puts all the clues together, _that’s rude of the police._ She doesn’t bring it up though, instead, she tears off her gloves.

   'Got caught red-handed…’ she giggled.

   'Nice. Same, even.’ he replied. ‘I think I like you, name? I’m Sabo.’

   'Koala. Why were you defacing property?’

   'Correcting cissexist bullshit but the fuckin’ pigs seem to disagree.’ Sabo then mumbled something very rude about how the police could choke on an improbably large phallus under his breath. ‘You?’

   'I was painting over some unattended signs of the people we’re protesting again, you know, so they couldn’t spread their cissexist bullshit.’ Koala replied.

   'Yep, I definitely like you, girlie.’ Sabo replied with a wry wink.

   'Why thank you.’ Koala replied.


	73. Not So Accidental Accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonney explains to the cute IT guy why she keeps breaking her phone.

   'Okay, so the first time it happened, it was definitely an accident.’ Bonney confessed and that’s when Ace the sales assistant knew he was about to buckle up for a very wild ride.

   'I had been trying to take the perfect selfie in this super high class restraint bathroom. It had the works: a beautiful colour scheme, perfectly polished tiles, complimentary mints, a freaking Greek statue (without arms and everything!), as well as some very fickle taps which were activated by movements.

   'I had managed to activate said taps by doing the flipped peace sign – so, the oral sex symbol; yes, even over her mouth as well – and the taps decided to have an absolute fit. Who knew they were prudes?

   'Anyway, they had an absolute heart attack on me and that’s when I dropped it down the sink and had to get the Maître-D – who was kinda cute, by the way, except – ew – he had a curly eyebrow. Who the fuck curls their eyebrow? And it’s not like he’s cuter than you. You and your freckles – ugh, so nice!

   'So, I go without a phone for a few days and bingo bango, now I’m here. Only, not for the first time… but the seventh time. What I did between the now and then is not important although, you really should commend my creativity and delicacy as my phone didn’t break irreparably. All because I wanted to continuously speak to you and your fancy hair.’

   'So… you think my hair is fancy?’

   'Obviously.’ Bonney retorted.

   'Well, you’re bank account will be relieved to know you can talk to me without having to break your phone, in fact, how about I take you out for dinner? You, me, and Macca’s – they don’t pay me all that well here. It’ll be on me though.’

   'Sweet.’ Bonney replied with a grin.


	74. A Broken Nose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Usopp explains to his adorable doctor how he broke his unusually long nose.

   'Oh, uh, okay come on in, sir.’ the Doctor said; her voice was light, dainty, and most importantly: shocked.

   Usopp was not surprised.

   'Doctor Richman, at your service but you may call me Kaya, Mr….?’

   'Usopp is fine, I know, I know, my surname is very hard to pronounce so Usopp is fine. It’s Ugandan, yeah, it’s hard…’

   'So, let’s see…’ Doctor Kaya flipped through her notes.

   'Emergency admitted you from a contact sport on the grounds of a broken nose.’

   Usopp’s nose twitched. It was most certainly a nose.

   'What sport? How were you injured…’ Doctor Kaya said and she started to touch Usopp’s face. 'Oh, don’t mind me.’

   ''Kay.’ Usopp grunted.

   Usopp’s face reddened. Doctor Kaya had incredibly soft and demure fingers and the way she examined his nose was more like a caress than anything medical. 

   'Huh, your nose has got to be, like, four inches.’

   'Usually longer, ‘cause I lie all the time though.’ Usopp replied.

   'Like Pinochio so tell me, how did you break your nose?’ Kaya asked and she then proceeded to get her bandages and whatnot in order.

   'Roller derby.’

   'Seriously? You’re not lying?’

   'Seriously! Love roller derby! It is bloody brilliant, smoothly gliding over the linoleum of the rink, the adrenaline. I’m part of a team called the Strawhats. I’m no one special on the team; not compared to the Monster Trio but, we have some good times. You know, until you get a roller skate to the face.’

   Doctor Kaya giggled. ‘You sound so alive talking about roller derby. I’ve never seen someone so excited to get a bloody nose.’

   'Well you ain’t never met anyone like me before.’

   'Hm… how are you sure?’

   'It’s a statement that is neither true nor false. That’s how.’ Usopp said.

   Doctor Kaya laughed again. And Usopp could see it in her honey brown eyes: she had taken a liking to him.


	75. Bad Decisions Were Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The walls are wafer thin. And there's one of everything in this room. Out of context quotes are abound.

   The Monster Trio, as they were so not-so-fondly called, glared. Things like budgets and time were tight. From here on out, bad decisions were made but sometimes, it’s all a learning curve.

   The Strawhats had to disperse throughout a crummy hotel. It was dirt cheap and smelt worse than it. The beds were creaky, old, and rank. The girls took one room whilst Brook, Franky, and Chopper took another. Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji were given the last room and they had also been given the one with only one bathroom. They had spent the entire night arguing – or ignoring each other so they could get a little sleep. There was a long trek before them in a few hours but at this point, time was on their side.

   Another thing about this hotel was it was no stranger to criminal activity. The manager had ways of knowing activities of Marines and police and were kind enough to let the patrons know; just not the secret how. Popular theory was either a Devil Fruit was at play or someone had too many Den Den Mushis than they really need. 

   Nami had been given the intel from the manager and she easily spread it through the rooms the Strawhats were using. The walls were paper thin; but left enough to the imagination as the crew would soon find out.

   'Oi, guys, Marine raid in an hour. We need to be out before then.’ she yelled.

   'We will!’ Luffy yelled back.

   There was one problem. They all stank. And, potentially more importantly: they were all naked too. The current argument was about who would get in the one, teeny-tiny metal tub first. It was filled to the brim with hot water and soap. Look good. Looked tempting. 

   'We’re not leaving without bathing.’ Sanji announced.

   'Agreed.’ Luffy and Zoro replied.

   'Two minutes. Each of us. That’s it.’ Sanji continued.

   'Why don’t we just… all try.’ Luffy said.

   The exact argument was a bit embarrassed and muffled but eventually, the three did get into the tub together and that’s when bad decisions were made. There was a lot of pushing and grunting and plashing. Water tipped over the edge countless times.

   Luffy ended up weaved between Zoro and Sanji; stretching in ways, he didn’t normally but he kept the two from touching and that quelled some fury. But still, there was a lot of obscene noises that traversed past the wafer thin walls. 

   Questions were not asked later when they were re-grouped but those vulgar noises the rest of the crew had overheard at the hotel were ones that were never going to leave.


	76. Sprinkles the Chihuahua

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonney is a professional dog walker. She has an accident that lands her in the bad books of a very hot doctor.

   Bonney would like to personally thank the Devil for this horrifyingly new low moment in her life.

   She’s a professional dog walker and her neighbour knows this so naturally, he hires her to look after his mutt for the next few days whilst he’s out of town. Bonney accepted. Dogs love her.

   But this one? Absolute Satan spawn but Bonney’s met the literal embodiment of period cramps before – a guy with green hair and no sense of humour, as if would turn out – so she is quite certain it’ll be fine even though her neighbour’s Chihuahua named Sprinkles is absolute Satan spawn.

   Even though Sprinkles is probably out of her league, Bonney continues with her duties at risk of losing reputation so she tied her hair up and then the dog to its teeny-tiny harness. Off. They. Went.

   And wasn’t that a mistake?

   Bonney had planned a half hour walk for Sprinkles given that it really needed the exercise as it was gradually going obese. So, she and the mongrel mini mutt had left the apartment building for not even five minutes when Sprinkles goes rogue and wounds Bonney.

   It was not a pleasant experience being bitten on the butt and the shame parade had only just begun. Bonney returned the beast to its apartment and then went to the hospital. She highly doubted she would contract rabies from Sprinkles, one of the most pampered of all the pooches, but still, better safe than sorry so she literally hauled ass to the hospital. She waited a while and was soon admitted by a very hot looking Doctor named

   Trafalgar D. Water Law and this was when the shame parade truly started.

   He was an utter panty-dropper and a professional (unfortunately) so when Bonney had to drop her panties for him so he could make sure there wasn’t any puncture wounds, it was quite embarrassing. He was cool as a cucumber the whole way through and promptly announced that Bonney had wasted her time. She would be fine. Not a nary scratch.   
He was bit of an asshole this Doctor Trafalgar but Bonney wanted to be in his pants nonetheless. Although, she never expected to ever see him again.

   Luckily, she would never have to see Sprinkles the Chihuaha ever again as today its dickhead owner would return home from his out of town business. Thank God.

   A week passed and Bonney got over herself and her shame parade. That was, until, she visited the Dog Park. 

   And there he was: ah, that motherfucker. What a tool.   
He didn’t even have a dog – and Bonney had totally pegged him as being the type to own a butch Doberman named Killer. But still. He was there. And she was down the shady path. Here. It was perfect. 

   So, with her arms swathed with leashes and a small, four-legged army in tow, she approached.

   'You’ve seen my butt.’ She stated to him.

   'That’s one way to start a conversation, but yes: I remember you: pink hair, bit of a bitch, and bitten on the ass by a puppy?’

   'Chihuaha. Just as pretentious though.’ Bonney said.

   'Jewellery Bonney?’

   'Indeed.’ Bonney replied. ‘So, do you want to see anything else from me?’

   'Not particularly.’

   'Can I convince you?’

   'Perhaps, try me.’

   'Well, how about dinner first? My treat.’

   'What are you thinking?’

   'Italian.’

   'My grandmother is Italian.’ 

   'Is that a yes?’

   'It means I’ll have high standards if we go together.’

   'Sounds like a dream.’


	77. Protest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro can't stand the sight of a crying girl. That's why he got looped into protesting a cause he doesn't even know.

   Zoro was supposed to be an un-involved bystander but there is something about seeing a girl cry that just puts his mind in disarray and can get him to say “yes” to anything. And being a man of his word, it also means that will do anything on top of that. 

   Today, this meant helping a girl in a wheelchair in her crusade against ableism. Luckily, he didn’t have to do anything to do later today. He was actually coming from the lecture he had today.   
They were literally just be civilly disobedient: sitting around in front of the dean’s office.

   'So, who even are you?’ Zoro asked idly.

   'Perona.’

   'And why are we doing this?’

   'You don’t find it grotesque that the disabilities’ office is only available via walking upstairs. I am in a goddamn wheel chair, meanie. I don’t have the luxury of walking upstairs thanks to my severe dyspraxia.’ 

   'What the fuck?’ Zoro replied. ‘Why the fuck would they not put in an elevator for you then?’

   'I know right.’ Perona replied. ‘So, who are you?’

   'Roronoa Zoro. I work at the dojo; kendo is my specialty but I help out with the judo classes too.’

   'Must be nice.’ Perona replied.  
‘We live extremely different lives.’

   'You don’t say.’

   'But I don’t like seeing girls cry and I don’t like injustice so let’s do our best!’

   'Sounds good.’ Perona replied and there was a twinkle in her eyes.

   Somehow, this two-hour sit-in wasn’t going to be last of Perona, Zoro thinks and he is surprisingly okay with that. Given how he met most his friend group, this is definitely one of the more normal encounters: getting roped into a social justice affair via crocodile tears. Yep, definitely one of the more normal first meetings he’s had in his life. Somehow.


	78. Idiots Don't Float (Unfortunately)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro has to make a sadistic choice.

   Zoro had been brought up thinking this was one of those horrible, horrible hypothetical situations which turns you into a monster regardless of how you answer. Damned if you do; damned if you don’t. This?

   This wasn’t a conundrum. Zoro knew his answer. He would stand by it regardless of how things turn out. He may have two lovers but his loyalty was forever fixed on only one of them. His Captain would forever prioritise higher; maybe not higher than himself but it would be a very close call. But, then again, he’s always been confident in his abilities; their abilities. 

   He dived into the cold, choppy water. Fools. Both of them.   
Zoro slid through the opening he carved and he powered downwards. His eyes, strained and going red, darted around searching for bubbles. His ears blocked but he tried nonetheless; a gurgle, a sign of struggle. He was looking for anything. He continued swimming downwards and then he found him: soggy straw hat, a limp body, a dumb expression on face – Luffy. The Captain.

   Zoro grabbed onto Luffy’s collar and yanked him towards himself. His tongue lolled. Other than that, no sign of recognition that something had happened to him.  
How had they gotten into this mess? These idiots know they can’t swim. Or maybe they trust Zoro too much. Law certainly does.

   Zoro swam upwards. Trying to return to the surface. Than he saw it: a copse of bubbles and a flash of a black and white hat.

    _Fuck me dead_ , Zoro thought to himself and he changed direction. His lungs resisted but he kept going. He grabbed the second idiot by his furred collar, grossly wet now, and Zoro tried again. This time, certain there would be no surprises.


	79. When the Squad Hits the Mall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy goes clothes shopping with Izo and Haruta. For some reason, Marco comes along too but his intentions don't seem as straight forward as Izo and Haruta's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pronouns:  
> Luffy: he/him.  
> Haruta: he/him but ended up pronounless in the fic  
> Izo: they/them

   The mall gleamed, it was that clean. Faces could be seen reflecting on the linoleum tiles underfoot. There was a soft drink smell in the air and it was a perfect, young day for clothes shopping. The perfect day to buy risky clothes; well, sort of.

   Luffy didn’t consider buying skirts – for himself – to be risky but he was told that not everyone would get why he would want them for most people were stuck in the gender binary. A sad but true fact; according to Izo: the extraordinaire on this sort of thing but under their watchful eye and Haruta’s guidance; together, this fresh as hell squad of nonbinary and genderqueer individuals shall come together and conqueror the mall and its overpriced, gendered pieces of fabric.

   Oh, and Marco was there too as support but no one really knew why. They had their theories though. He hated clothes shopping but according to that look in his eye as Luffy twirled around in the fourth skirt he was trying on, he was willing to put up with the inane “You look so nice” comments that everyone was spouting.

   ‘I really like this one.’ Luffy announced.

   'Mm, denim is a good look for you.’ Haruta added with a nod. 

   Marco quirked his eyebrows.

   'Damn fine, Luff.’

   'But with that price tag?’ Izo said, screwing up their face. ‘We can get the same thing at a thrift shop, surely.’

   'It’s on me then.’ Marco piped up.

   Luffy spun around on his heel. The skirt didn’t move which was nice. Mobility was the main thing he wanted as he still wanted to kick ass and take names in skirts just like he did in pants.

   'Really?’ Luffy asked; eyes lighting up.

   'Really.’ Marco affirmed.


	80. This Seemed Cuter in My Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hancock attempts to arrange her girlfriends as per her whimsy.

   Hancock grinned and tipped her head back; her curtain of shimmering black hair quivered behind her. Hina already knew this was going to go south but Robin gave her the benefit of the doubt; delivering a mutely eager smile in anticipation of what was to come next.

   'I have an idea.’ she announced.

   'Clearly. Go on.’ Hina replied with the same type of disgust on her face as one would have biting down onto a lemon wedge.

   'Since we are rarely on the same ship together, we should make the most of it.’ Hancock continued.

   'I like where this is going.’ agreed Robin.

   'So, we should all share a bed. I believe my quarters ought to suffice. Half of the room is basically bedding.’

   'We could all spoon. It’s been cold lately, this sounds like a marvellous idea.’ Robin added but she knew, deep in her soul, that this was going to end well. They were all tall, statuesque or bony.

   There was no way this would end well but, in Robin’s experience, worse has turned out better. She was willing to give it a try.

   A few hours later, Hina had to be forcibly dragged to Hancock’s bed and Robin cheerfully reminded her anywhere was better than the floor so Hina did lower herself onto the sheets and pillows and bedding – messy and sprawled out – with her lovers.

   She was given the middle of the bed and was told to remain conscious of her arms. Luckily, she slept like a solider; even with two ladies curled atop of her; arms draped over her and being overly lovey-dovey.

   But, by the time, she settled and her heart rate slowed, Hina did decide she liked it. It was warm. Soft. She felt very loved – and what more could she want?  
So, she drifted off to sleep and all was right and good in the world. Things truly had turned out better than she expected. She had feared the worst: hands all over her, hair in her mouth, too much going on beside her so she couldn’t sleep. No, it was serene honestly. She slept soundly.  
Then, four hours passed. That’s when Hina realised that she had convinced herself that this was a good idea too early.

   There were two (2) sharp and jarring pains in her waist and her leg was slowly going numb; someone else’s leg was actually wedged between her own. Robin – she thinks – also seems to be tugging on her hair whilst Hancock was trying to suffocate Hina using her own.

   'Ladies,’ Hina growled, ‘I love you but we’re never doing this again.’

   'Agreed.’ Hancock mumbled and Robin piped up.

   'Can’t sleep either?’

   'Too hot.’ Robin replied.

   'My arm’s gone numb. I feel like stone.’ Hancock confessed.

   'Until morning?’ Hina asked with a sigh.

   'Until morning.’ her girlfriends replied.

   Hina could hear the smile in Hancock’s voice though.


	81. Property Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji is drunk and needs a lift. He calls two people; and they come in separate cars. Half a squabble ensues.

   'Sanji’s friend, right?’ Nami asked as she got out of her car; a little thing. Her legs spread wide as she exited. Her skirt tightened over her thighs and Zoro tried not to look.

   'Sanji’s other friend, right?’ Zoro asked.

   It was past midnight now. Not quite morning though. Super dark nonetheless; except for the weak starlight, no moon, and the bonfire in the background that looked like a flame on a candle’s wick right now. Got to love property parties? Too far to actually justify driving an hour just to pick up a drunk friend.

   'Didn’t realise he called you as well.’ Nami huffed. 

   'Waste of petrol for the both of us.’ 

   'You can have him.’ both growled.

   'Ugh, asshole.’ Nami grumbled.

   'We’ll just let him choose.’  
Nami and Zoro stumbled through the darkness and towards the bonfire. They walked past the elaborate farmhouse. It was old; used to belong to a rich family. Now, it was just a sheep and cattle station. 

   Luffy came racing past; one of the three owners – brothers.

   'Thought you two couldn’t make it?!’ he asked excitedly. ‘Do you two want anything? Soft drink? Booze? It’s BYO though but I’ve got too much soft drink.’

   Nami smiled. ‘It’s fine. We’re here to pick up Sanji.’

   'Cool.’ Luffy said and he ran off again. This time, with a distinct lack of pants on top of already being shirtless. And who says drunk people are the only ones who can have fun at a party?

   Sanji found them next. He was a jiggly, wriggly mess. He was sloppy in statue and slurred his speech. He didn’t usually lose himself like this. He wrapped his arms around Zoro and Nami as he wedged himself between them. He reeked of liqueurs and wines.

   'I’m so glad, yer both here.’ He slurred and he pecked Zoro and Nami. ‘I need to leave.’

   'Who do you want to go with?’ Zoro asked.

   He hiccupped. ‘Both of you.’

   Zoro and Nami exchanged a look.

   'My ute can stay here overnight. We’ll take your car.’ Zoro decided with a sigh.


	82. Beaten, Bruised, and Bloody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji and Usopp rescue Nami from a fight she didn't win.

   Beaten, bruised and bloody were not words that should be used to describe Nami. Beautiful, balanced, and bewitched; yes, definitely but not beaten, bruised, and bloody. Not now. Not ever.

   Nami curled her hands tightly over Sanji’s shoulders; as tightly as she could but even then, Sanji could barely feel her grasping at his shirt. He had to hold her in place. 

   Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned but, even the proverbial, furious woman cannot hold a candle to Sanji; the Strawhats. When one hurts, they all hurt. When one is in pain, they are all in agony.

   Usopp fumbled towards Sanji just as Sanji himself started to falter. Never before had this ragtag crew of misfits and best friends had faced a foe like this. Everyone had injuries; Sanji and Usopp included but they were feral with fury. 

  'I’ll help.’ Usopp mumbled.

   'I know.’ Sanji replied.

   'Thank you.’ Nami mumbled and she sputtered and wheezed. 

   'We’ll get you to Chopper and then, Usopp and I will make sure whoever did this to you pays sevenfold.’

   'Hell yeah.’ Usopp agreed with a flash of undiluted rage in his eyes.


	83. Luffy the Friendly Ghost

   'Honey,’ Tashigi called out as she assessed the bill, ‘even though our water usage has gone up, it says that our expenses have gone down.’

   'Weird.’ Smoker replied. He shrugged. Who cares? Living is expensive, may as well ride the flow if it’s in their favour.

   'You don’t sound too miffed.’

   'You’re making mountains out of mole hills, Tash.’

   'I just find it strange: the strokes of good luck we’ve had recently. We won four grand on lottery and the neighbour we didn’t like moved out. And we’ve been in good health. It’s peculiar, don’t you think?’

   'What comes around goes around.’ Smoker replied.

   'That’s what I’m afraid of. The better things are for us… the higher we could fall.’

   'Not really, I mean. It balances out; the other day, you couldn’t find your glasses and we found them smashed in the garbage. No matter how we make our beds, it’s always undone by the time we try and get into them. And sometimes, we wake up with our pillows at our feet.’

   'You don’t think…?’ Tashigi mumbled; eyes widening.

   'You’re being ridiculous, Tashigi.’ Smoker grunted. ‘Spirits don’t exist.’

   'I know Smoker, but still.’ Tashigi replied. She stretched and sighed.

   A week passed and good fortune and odd occurrences continued to follow. And as ridiculous as it was, Tashigi still suspected it was all because of supernatural forces at play.

   And, as it would turn out, she had quite the bit to support her hunch, such as the spirit in his somewhat intangible, corporeal form.

   Tashigi was having a day off but from work but not from chores. She’d been going around the flat, dusting and doing laundry and making sure everything was in tip top shape. Being busy kept her mind off things and noises. Making mountains out of molehills; that sort of thing.

   But, by midday, she was done and happily plopped down on the lounge and went to turn the television on; thinking she could watch some day time television and relax sloppily. As she reached for the remote, she heard footsteps and then the fridge – forever with a very recognisable creak in its swing – opened.

   Her blood turned to ice and rather than grabbing the remote, she grabbed her phone and steeled her resolve. She crept around from the lounge room and into the kitchen. She ducked under the counter and kept herself concealed. She cautiously peered around the corner.

   Ankles. Feet. Sandals. Definitely human; definitely see-through.  
Tashigi’s hands shook as she tried to text Smoker and then she heard the front door rattle.

   'Honey, I’m home!’ Smoker called out.

   'Shit, shit, fuck!’

   'What was that?’ Smoker yelled.

   'There is an intruder in the house!’ Tashigi screeched.

   'Shit, shit, fuck!’

   Footsteps beat the linoleum in the kitchen and Tashigi jumped out from hiding. She saw a flash of red fabric and heard Smoker come towards the kitchen: a pincer attack. The intruder then turned heel and started to stretch in an effort to hide himself by hiding in the gap between the fridge and the wall.

   'What the hell?’ Smoker asked awed and he grabbed onto the intruder’s shoulder and yanked him back.

   Half of him was complete flat. Most of him seemed transparent. All of him should not have been there.

   'Wassup… roomies?’ he offered nervously.

   'Roomies?’ Tashigi screeched.

   'Well, I was here first. Monkey D. Luffy. I live in this apartment, Have for a few years. Now, don’t mind me.’

   He spoke fast and tried to head for the gap again.

   Again, Smoker yanked him back into the conversation.

   'What the hell are you?’ he asked.

   'A spirit of some kind. Heard you guys talking about me last week. Oopsies, but whatever. I promise not to eat too much of your food. And I’ll stop messing up your bed. I was trying to help. Come on, from now on: let’s get along.’

   Luffy had a huge grin on his face. The best Smoker and Tashigi could manage at that particular moment in time was an awkward wave and smile. Their domestic life just plummeted for the peculiar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luffy is a Zakishiki-Warashi with a touch of niche (wo)man but I can't remember that species name right now lol.


	84. Chapter 84

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This could be his last chance and Luffy has never been one to pull a punch.

   Thick wood smoke and poisonous smog surrounded them, coiling in on them but neither were worried. This was their element: precious immunity protected them. As well as each other.

   Luffy’s eyes were aflame. His blood – hotter than lava – coursed with fury and adrenaline. It was do or die. Now or never. And he was never one to let a punch escape him. He looked like a madman as he reached out for Smoker’s collar. He grabbed onto it and yanked it. His rubber arms stretched and snapped like elastic bands. Smoker came whirling back, surprised.

   He grappled with Luffy’s hands.

   ‘What the hell’re you doin’, Strawhat?’ he barked.

   ‘Something I should have done a long time ago!’ Luffy screamed. Veins throbbing in his forehead. His skin had a pink sheen and he smelt burnt like plastic.

   Luffy pulled Smoker down closer and there was no escaping it. Luffy pressed his mouth onto Smokers and forced his tongue between Smoker’s chapped kiss. Smoker was taken a back at first but he did not protest. He too had to admit, this was something he should have done a long time ago.

   All these environmental factors – blood, sweat, tears, smoke, stench – should have made for an awful kiss but somehow, it didn’t. It suited them.


	85. Don't Let Me Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gold Roger was a man who would live on forever but there are parts of him forgotten in his legacy that deserve to be immortalised also.

    One doesn’t really die until they have been forgotten; until the flame they forged in life, carried by the ones they love… die, or even worse: forget.

    Everyone is afraid of death. It was simple. the snuffing out one’s life force with no idea what was on the other side was terrifying. would it be paradise or an unending nightmare? What would be worse? Everything or nothing.

    Roger pounded the table with his hand to hide a mighty cough. He was a different person then. Garp knew it. The bartender knew it. the world did not know it.

    ‘Another round good sir.’ Roger demanded. ‘I want to leave with a great party.’

    Garp rolled his eyes. ‘You’re crook, mate.’

     ‘For now, asshole. But I’m on the way to immortality.’ Roger quipped.

   He was gaunt and barely flesh. Garp doubted it until that was what vampires actually look like.

    But who knew that come two years - two bloody years - later that Roger would achieve such a feat. he made a comeback from his illness; kind of. it’s hard to be sick when you’ve got two swords stuck through your vital organs.

   For it was better to die than be killed. it was better to claim your fate than to let it come meagrely to you; like a cowardly friend who had wronged you too many times in the past.

    As much as Garp hated it, he would not let Roger’s immortality fade. He would remember the man he once was, a sallow-skinned drunkard, and the man he was when he killed death: wealthy, powerful, famous.


	86. Stuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy gets his hand stuck in a jar.

   Sanji stared. Luffy stared back but quickly averted his gaze. Sanji sighed and put his hand to his head. Luffy made a disgruntled noise; no doubt embarrassed.

   ‘Finally bit off more than you can chew, huh?’ Sanji quipped.

   ‘I’d call this more… put my hand in a place it doesn’t belong.’ Luffy admitted.

   Luffy’s hand flopped about as he tried to aimlessly dislodge the jar stuck around it. There were biscuits crumbs everywhere; some of which appeared to large to have been eaten. Broken.

   Sanji sighed again. ‘Let’s go find Franky, I’m sure if he greases you up enough, you’ll come good.’

   Luffy, of course, wasn’t listening and had resolved to remove the biscuit jar himself except, all he was doing now was increasing the space between his wrist and his arm. His elastic noodle arms were flopping everywhere.

   ‘Sanji….’ he whined. ‘Help me I’m stuck...’

   ‘Listen for once in your life, you idiot Captain.’ Sanji snapped back.


	87. Sister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji wakes up from a nightmare only to realise how much of his childhood he's forgotten.

   Sanji woke up groggily. His head was spinning and he was craving a cigarette. His hands shook. He knew he was just dreaming but he didn’t recall what he had fantasied. But he could feel the echoes of a nightmare pulsate inside of him. He was glad he couldn’t remember, truth be told.

   He didn’t want to remember.

   He swallowed hard. It was tricky, getting to his feet. He didn’t want to disturb the others. He felt vulnerable.

   Sanji got out of the cabin, easily enough. Everyone bar Usopp were heavy sleepers. They were all content to snore until sunrise. He wandered the deck and he struck a match and lit a cigarette.

   He savoured the first puff. It calmed him down. He swallowed and coughed. Smoke remained in his lungs; poisoning him like memories of his forgotten life. The one he had escaped from all those years ago.

   He breathes deep. He feels a salty breeze on his face but he’s trying to remember her; the sister he had left behind. He clenches his fist. He struggles to recall her voice; her scent. Regret.


	88. Midnight Moping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Law wakes up from a nightmare and needs to get some thoughts out of his mind and food into his belly.

   Law woke with a jolt which is never a great way to end any stretch of sleep but sometimes, it’s the only way he can end a horrible dream. His sheets restrain him; feel tight and unnatural against his skin so he’s out of bed easy enough. He’s rattled, to say the least. The shadows under his eyes darker than usual but hey, who’s going to notice?

   He’s horrified to learn that it’s way earlier than he thought. Barely sunrise according to the clock he found by his bed. He’s out of his room quick enough. It’s hard living on a submarine. But he can’t help but feel like it’s a good metaphor for his life. Hard to escape, cold, metallic: yes, that’s perfectly him but there’s one place he can find some comfort. Some place that is a warm escape but, it’s still metallic though.

   That place would be the kitchen. With its high-tech ovens and smell of food, it’s a great place to pretend they’re not miles under the ocean’s surface waves. It’s a great place to pretend they’re normal, enough. Everyone’s got to eat and Law is starving.

   He feels like a brat on the streets again. He’s crying as he stuffs his face. He ignores it though and soon enough, he’s cheeks are dry again. He paws at his eyes. Anything to try and make it seem like he hadn’t just randomly broken down like he had but sometimes, it’s the only release.

   ‘Hey Capt’n.’

   Law’s blood runs cold.

   ‘Midnight snack?’

   ‘I guess.’

   Law swallows some more cheese.

   ‘Need to vent?’

   ‘…Yeah.’

   ‘Thought so.’


	89. A Feeling of Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Law gets in trouble and can't help but feel like he's reached some sort of milestone sentimentality.

   ‘Are you even listening?’ Corazon yelled. His voice cracked and he curled back. His fingers caged his mouth and he became sheepish.

   Law held onto the chair. He wallowed in regret. He opened in his mouth, to speak, but quickly decided to close it. He couldn’t find the words inside himself to properly explain.

   ‘I - I’m not angry.’ Cora corrected himself. He looks fraught with concern. Sick to the stomach. ‘I’m not disappointed either. Just… scared.’

   Cora was obviously a little more than “just scared”. He was petrified: pacing and shaking. He was as pale as the dead.

   Law sat quietly. Stared at the ground; at his feet. He felt awful. He didn’t know what else to feel. he’d never felt this way either. He didn’t know what to name this misery except as a proof of bond. This terrible feeling swirling I his stomach and the utter concern immortalising this memory as an aspect of Corazon was proof that they were something like family. Law heard, once, that only true family – blood or no blood – ever feels this way over the kin they’ve chosen.

   And it’s kind of nice. But kind of awful. Because that meant, they both had a lot to lose.


	90. Sit In My Lap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are trying your hardest to distract Sabo from his more scholarly duties on the Revolutionary Army's base.

   ‘Sit in my lap.’ you cheekily demand to Sabo.

   He brushes you off, of course, but he returns your amour with a nice little smile. Temptation glittered in his eyes.

   ‘I’m busy. I have to sit at my desk and do paperwork.’ Sabo replied, jokingly haughty but you take it as a flirt. You can see in his demeanour that he has no intention of doing anything as boring and as studious as paperwork. not anymore. Not with you around.

   ‘You sure?’ you ask and it prompts some laughter from him.

   ‘Yes, I’m sure.’

   ‘More hands to lighten the load. You’re boring old, wooden chair can’t do that.’

   ‘Yes, and my boring old wooden chair won’t try and kiss my neck.’

   You laugh. He’s right.


	91. A Sweet and Hopeful Declaration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koala, at long last, confesses her feelings towards Sabo.

Koala took a breath and she fidgeted with her fingers. Nevertheless, her gaze unto Sabo remained unbroken and resolute. Her cheeks became hued crimson as she spoke.  
‘Sabo.’ she said firmly. ‘I am in love with you. Thank you very much.’  
Koala sounded as though she were picking her words very carefully; like this was a highly orchestrated speech but given the weakness to her words, it was obvious to Sabo that she was rambling.  
Sabo’s heart skipped a beat. His eyes rambled. He looked as though he had stumbled upon the treasure to end all treasures. Koala couldn’t believe that she was the visage contorting Sabo’s face with such awe. Her heart fluttered. her own eyes widened. Both held their breath.  
Sabo spoke next.  
‘What if I told you I’ve been in love with you since I was eleven.’  
Koala’s mind raced. Her heart acted first. She lunged at Sabo and crash tackled him into a hug. they ended up on the ground like fools. She straddled him and Sabo sat up. he wrapped his arms around her face. Koala cupped Sabo’s cheeks; he had rough skin.  
‘Then I would tell you that I’d love you forever.’  
Koala initiated the kiss that followed such a sweet and hopeful declaration.


	92. Nuisance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nami flirts by making a nuisance of herself.

A cocky grin split across Nami’s face. ‘Make me.’ she demanded.

   ‘Fine.’ Zoro shrugged and he tried to barge past her.

   Nami steeled herself and clung to the doorway; thinking it was hilarious to keep Zoro contained in the gym. She laughed and more or less managed to keep Zoro put.

   He huffed. ‘Seriously Nami. I need to go and take a shower.’

   ‘Unfortunate.’ Nami teased.

   Zoro tried a second time. Nami launched herself in his path and easily manoeuvred around him, continuing barring him access to the stairwell. She was laughing the whole time and Zoro didn’t mind a little bit of play.

   ‘Alright, since you’re being stubborn.’ Zoro decided with a big grin.

   He picked Nami up. She wasn’t quite strong enough to remain rooted to the ground but she didn’t mind. Zoro cradled her in a big bear hug.

   ‘Can you smell me?’ he asked.

   ‘Yes, and you smell gross.’ Nami laughed.

   ‘Then let’s go hit the showers.’

   Nami laced her hands on Zoro’s shoulders. ‘If you insist.’


	93. 'Bite Me' | 'If You Insist'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luffy can't take flirting seriously.

   Luffy grinded his teeth as he glared down Law. ‘Bite me.’ he snarled at long last.

   Law’s lips quirked upwards into something of a smile: arrogant, crude. He shrugged: ‘If you insist.’

   Luffy’s eyebrow twitched and he lost all composure. He began to laugh at Law’s earnest invitation of turning their petty argument into something else. Law rolled his eyes; happily accepting that with any other result was pure fantasy. Besides, hearing Luffy laugh was far better than anything else Law could imagine.


	94. Did you buy me... lingerie?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco is a forward thinker.

Marco’s smile slowly widened as Ace’s receded into confusion.  
‘Did you buy me… lingerie?’ Ace asked as he inspected the contents of the plastic bag Marco had handed him.  
‘No.’ Marco scoffed. ‘I bought you something way better.’  
‘I don’t even - wait, what even is this?’ Ace asked as he held out a messy tangle of silky crimson ribbon.  
‘That, my dear lover, is the next evolution of lingerie, or so the sales clerk reckoned.’  
‘It’s literally ribbon. Do I even want to know what we’re supposed to do with it?’ Ace asked.  
‘Well, it’s basically underwear except not even a whole garment. I think it’ll be funny to string the ol’ Christmas Tree up in it.’ Marco laughed.  
‘Dude, you’re so right.’ Ace replied excitedly. ‘Whitebeard would have a pink kitten when Izo has to explain what it is.’  
‘I’m a forward thinker.’ Marco replied, smarmy as he opened up his arms.  
‘Why I love ya.’ Ace replied.


	95. Laundry Day Shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nami is not amused by Luffy's re-purposing of her bra.

Nami whistled as she walked into the laundry. The laundry usually smelt overly soapy and of detergent but right now, it was unusually so. Especially considered that she had been here half an hour ago to put her laundry in the machine. As far as Nami knew, she was the only member of the crew planning to do laundry so there was no reason for it to smell that way and then she saw Luffy.  
She smiled bitterly to herself.  
‘Is that… is that my bra?’ she asked.  
Luffy recoiled, whipped his head around. He grabbed the back of the white and red fabric of what was undoubtedly her bra. He ripped it from Carue’s head and poorly tried to hide it behind his back.  
‘No.’ he replied. He began sweating bullets. He looked guilty as anything.  
‘Okay, I’ll play, what is it then?’  
‘Carue’s goggles.’ he replied; tight-lipped.  
Nami sighed. ‘Please don’t play space rangers with my bra. Go and use Sanji’s colander next time.’  
Luffy got up, pouting, and handed over Nami’s bra. He was just glad that she was in a good mood.


	96. Between a Rock and a Hard Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro and Sanji really have to lean on each other to get out of this rocky situation.

   Zoro and Sanji were back to back and cramped. Both had their knees against their chests and their arms were locked. They grunted and groaned as they pushed against each other to create a sturdy way upwards because upwards was better than downwards. Downwards meant a slow and agonising death: torrential whirlpools, sharks, sharp and pointy rocks; the whole shebang.

   ‘Will… you… be… quiet?!’ Sanji hissed as Zoro grunted.

   ‘I’m sorry… but… like… most… humans….’ Zoro rammed against Sanji in a fit of ill-placed rage. ‘I HAVE TO BREATHE!’

   Sanji sputtered. He pushed back against Zoro in his own fit of rage. ‘As soon as we get out of here, I’m going to kill you.’

   ‘Hah, I’d like to see you try.’


	97. I Need You to Fake Date Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabo and Marco make a deal.

   Sabo burst into Marco’s room in the dorm. Marco jumped out of his skin and his headphones ended up on the floor. Sabo looked enraged.

   ‘Marco!’ he yelled.

   ‘Sabo!’ Marco jokingly yelled back but truth be told, he was terrified.

   ‘I need you to fake date me!’

   ‘Yeah it was me who broke the toas- wait, what?’

   Sabo stared. Marco stared back.

   ‘So, it was you who broke the toaster.’ Sabo said cautiously.

   ‘Why do you need me, no, wait, better question: who do you want to piss off?’

   ‘Ace.’

   ‘Ah.’ Marco nodded like a chicken.

   ‘You help me prank Ace and I’ll keep shut about the toaster since that’s the second damaged by you this month.’

   ‘You’ve got yourself a deal.’


	98. Please Don't Leave Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco mourns Ace's death.

   Marco held onto Ace’s old clothes. He didn’t need them anymore and they didn’t fit anyone so it was uncertain as to what would happen to them. Still, Marco wanted them. He held onto a shirt that didn’t smell like Ace because Ace - is - was an idiot who hated shirts.

   ‘Please don’t leave me.’ Marco sobbed into the red fabric.

   The red fabric bunched in his hands as he desperately clutched onto it. It was far too late. The War was well and done. its causalities, like Ace and Whitebeard, had been taken. They had been taken far too early. They had both deserved such long lives but longevity was not for the fools on the seas known as pirates.

   ‘Please.’ Marco begged, once more his voice turned up broken like glass.


	99. Sandwiched

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making out is more fun with more people.

   Luffy had never been a huge fan of sandwiches. He much preferred to eat the components of a sandwich - bread, meat, salad - separately. now, he was really feeling that sentiment more than ever. He kind of very much sympathised with a nice slab of meat squashed between two thick slices of bread.

   Of course, don’t let Law know that Luffy had just equated him to a slice of bread.

   Luffy began to giggle. Zoro began to laugh in conjuction. Law tried his best to ignore them. He kissed Luffy’s cheeks as Zoro kissed along the back of Luffy’s neck. Both men could feel their lips vibrate in rhythm to Luffy’s laughter. It was kind of cute.

   ‘Will you be quiet?’ Law asked, his lips were going numb.

   ‘Nope!’ Luffy replied and he began to laugh harder; and began to kiss back on Law’s lips whilst Zoro’s hands began to grope and explore the curve of Luffy’s hips.


	100. Bloody Idiots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nami can still fight but Sanji would rather if she got herself to Chopper first.

   There are a lot of things Sanji would do for her. For love. Nami just wishes that he wouldn’t be so literal.

   Sure, she’s not exactly standing tall and proud. She’s bloody and battered but hey, no broken bones. Actually, never mind. That sharp pain in her side and how her arm is twisted is probably representative of a cracked rib and fracture respectively but still. She can fight. She can still grip onto her Clima Tact.

   She goes. She lunges. Fury in her eyes like a tempest as sea. Nami is prepared but she’s grabbed from behind. Her hair and the back of her shirt all gets clumped up by uncouth fingers.

   At first. She’s terrified. Her heart stops and her blood runs cold. She can’t feel half her face but that’s probably unrelated.

   She’s yanked back. She screams.

   ‘It’s okay Nami, go seek medical help. I’ve got this.’

   Nami collapses to her knees. It’s not what she wants to hear but its what she needs to hear. Nevertheless, she gets back up and though her foot slides beneath the loose gravel, she maintains composure. She takes a breath. Sanji strikes up a cigarette and if she was a typhoon then he was an inferno. Both ready to rage and rumble.

   ‘No. I’ll help.’

   Sanji tuts. He shakes his head.

   ‘Ladies first then.’ he decides.

   Nami grins.

   Not wanting a lady to get hurt is one thing. But Sanji knows when Nami can handle herself. Letting go and knowing when to let go are both difficult concepts for Sanji but even though every fibre of his being screams otherwise, he lets Nami charge into battle first.

   He’ll take care of the rest.


	101. Alabasta will have an heir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kohza is concerned about the state of his wife's current health.

   Kohza cautiously entered the bathroom. Vivi was sobbing. She was a mess. Her blue hair in messy ripples against her back and over a chamber pot. She was pale as linen and her eyes were a fearsome red.

   Kohza sat down next to her. He put his arm around her. She cuddled in next to him and sniffed back her tears. Still, her eyes watered.

   ‘I’ve already had Igaram fetch someone to help. Can I do anything? Get you some water?’

   Vivi licked her lips. ‘Not yet, I - I um…’

   ‘Are you okay? You’ve been sick a lot lately these past few days.’ Kohza worried.

   Vivi began to laugh at his obliviousness.

   ‘Wh-What? Is it something I said… wait?’

   Kohza’s face lit up; a scant trace of embarassment in his cheeks though.

   ‘These aren’t sad tears, my love. These are happy tears. I’m pregnant.’

   Kohza hugged Vivi and she hugged back. both laughing and crying with smelly breath.

   ‘Alabasta will have an heir!’ Kohza declared.

   ‘Sshh, I think. A little bit of morning sickness and a missed period isn’t the strongest indicate. I need to see a physician but my woman’s instinct is certain.’

   ‘We have to pick names at once!’

   Vivi smiled. She couldn’t have been more in love with Kohza than in this moment, over a bile filled chamber pot and on the tiles of a bathroom.


	102. Against A Wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obviously, the best way to stay undercover as fake lovers, is to kiss.

   Koala rammed Sabo against the wall. His skin prickled and eyes bugged. He defensively put his hands up but then he became… all too aware as to how close his hands were to Koala’s breasts. He tried not to make eye contact.

   Koala kept Sabo pinned between her and the brick wall. She was so small but so strong. Sabo couldn’t help but be impressed with her. He supressed a swoon.

   They held their breaths and hoped the shadows kept them hidden. They strained their ears and the rhythmic clatter of a Marine squadron passed. Koala’s arms relaxed.

   ‘Close one, eh?’ Sabo remarked.

   ‘Yep.’ Koala giggled.

   Sabo caressed Koala’s chin and let his fingers drift from along the sides of her jaw, neck, until he reached her shoulders. He chuckled and surprised Koala with a reversal of what happened. Now it was Koala swooning at the display of possessive strength.

   Koala grinned big. She held onto the sides of Sabo’s face. He had rough skin but she didn’t mind.

   ‘Maybe we should just… pretend we’re a couple. You know… if they come back.’ Koala joked.

   ‘Sounds good.’ Sabo replied, teasingly. ‘Just in case they come back.’

   ‘Yeah.’

   Koala lifted her head and Sabo met her lips with his own. What was supposed to be a farce of a kiss soon turned to something else through smiles and laughter. Through encouraging eye contact and just general, romantic foolishness.


	103. Still Young (The Morning After)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex reinvigorates Smoker, truth be told.

   Smoker stuck a cigar in his mouth, chuckled to himself, then put his jacket back on. He left Law in bed, fuming, and naked.

   ‘If they find out, I’ll kill myself and then you.’ Law grumbled.

   ‘Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it.’ Smoker replied and he admired his post-sex hair in the mirror. He felt younger after that, truth be told.

   ‘Oh no, trust me, I enjoyed it. Especially now that I have blackmail on you. Problem is, you have blackmail on me too.’

   ‘I don’t strike that low.’

   ‘Whatever. Just make yourself scarce.’ Law grumbled and he tossed and turned in the sheets.

   The bed moaned and Smoker snickered to himself. Law pulled the pillow around his head and tried to ignore how hard that was on him. He felt like putty after that.

   Smoker made for the door. He had heavy, sleepy steps.

   ‘Oh.’ he piped up, confused. ‘Don’t you mean “I’ll kill you and then myself”.’

   ‘I know what I said. And I stand by it.’ Law snapped. ‘Now out!’

   ‘You sure know how to treat a man in the morning.’

   ‘Aren’t you hungover yet?!’

   ‘…I’m still… young. Ish.’

   ‘Sure, sure.’


	104. The domestic bliss was nice for the few minutes it lasted.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corazon enlists the children to help with dinner so that Bellemere can have a peaceful evening after a long day's work.

   Bellemere returns from a long day of yard work and slumps into the fetal position on the lounge. The kids are goodness knows where but she just wants to savour how her bones melt into the fabric of this lounge for a few good seconds.

   Corazon, aware that Bellemere has had a long day, has already taken the kids into the kitchen and occupied them with setting the table and washing vegetables. At the mention of giving their poor mother a break, their will to do the chores became slightly more pliant. For now, he would let Bellemere have a break. Surely she would be content to snooze for half an hour before sussing out dinner which will hopefully have been half way cooked by him and the kids.

   He’s supervising the kids, happily helping them handle the knives. Well, the eldest Nojiko is handling the knives. Law and Nami are still scrubbing up potatos and carrots. As it is the end of the week, a supposedly sabbath day by some calendars, perhaps a little gluttony is in order despite how tight the money pouch can be.

   Corazon glances over his shoulder, into the living room. Bellemere huffed and dragged herself to her aching feet. She looks as though she’s craving a smoke but she kneads her forehead. She sighed and got up. Corazon swoops in before she can even get a step away from the lounge.

   ‘It’s okay, darling. I have dinner in the making.’ Corazon said, putting up a fuss: something Bellemere cannot handle in her current state of near exhaustion.

   ‘Really?’ she asked. She relents and ran her fingers through Corazon’s fluffy, blonde hair as she drew nearer. She rested her hands on his shoulder.

   He smiled. ‘Really.’

   ‘God your good to me.’ Bellemere replied and she kissed Corazon’s nose.

   He blushed. ‘Well, you’re great to us.’ he complimented her.

   She giggled. Seconds later the kids screamed and now require Corazon’s presence in the kitchen to marshal some petty argument. The domestic bliss was nice for the few minutes it lasted.


	105. Stale breath when you wake up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A saturated sunlit morning and Corazon is hopelessly in love with the woman sleeping next to him.

   There are a lot of important firsts in a serious relationship. Corazon can now say that’s checked off two with Bellemere.

   Morning sunlight filters in through the blinds; creeping into a somewhat small, somewhat musty master bedroom of a rural farmhouse. The bed creaks and she sighs. He smiles to himself. She nestles in further between her arms; the hairs on them illuminated by the morning sun and how strong and firm her skin and muscles are accentuated. She doesn’t look traditionally angelic but hot damn is she ever in the cloying yellow of the saturated morning light.

   She sighs again. Smacks her reddened lips together and drifts back to sleep once more. Corazon eschews himself closer to her. He’s hesitant at first: awkward and ginger but Bellemere knows what Corazon is like so she doesn’t mind. She doesn’t fight back and lets him get comfortable. She’s practically melted into the bed though.

   Corazon drapes an arm over her. They’re both as naked and red as the day they were born. Warm and natural. It’s comfortable rather than strange. Corazon thought it would be strange. He’s never been happier to be wrong, truth be told.

   He delicately pushes away a tress of her almost magenta hair and kisses the back on her neck. Her lips crackle and she breaks into a silly smile; one she tried to resist but she’s putty for Corazon. His breath is kind of stale; kind of musky and gross but she doesn’t mind.

   He snuggles in again. This time, determined to drift off to sleep with her under his arm and his face against her wild mass of hair.


	106. Vigilante

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a seedy alley, Ace encounters a rebellious vigilante enforcing his own law in a world of masked lunatics and superheroes.

   Ace wasn’t familiar with this part of the city. He had only meant to pass through on his way back from working with his grandfather on a construction site a block and a half a way from the alley he was currently passing by. He wasn’t a fool. He wouldn’t dare go and investigate. Yes, he was adventurous at heart but he was also something of a glutton and pizza with the boys back on campus at his university was slightly more tempting than some dark and dingy alley.

   That was, until, he heard a scream. It pierces the air shrilly then dies off; coughing and sputtering.

   That set his heart aflame. His blood curdled and he stopped thinking with his stomach and started thinking with his gut. He bolts. He dashes into a sharp turn and his eyes widen as a body slumps to the ground. Street lights in the distance illuminate a red fluid gushing from the body. She’s a woman: blond, fluffy hair and a cute dress. The second figure - wrapped up in dark clothing - steps away and puts his hands up. A jagged blade catches the dim light and Ace licks his lips.

   His stomach wretches and he goes pale.

   ‘D-Did you just… Did you just kill someone?’ Ace asked.

   ‘I’m a vigilante.’ The person tries to explain. ‘You won’t believe me but this bitch here? They call her Ace of Hearts and she’s connected to Wild Card.’

   Ace knew those names. Everyone in the whole damn city knew those names: part of a rogues gallery of super-villains who haunt this poor place.  Ace stepped closer and the figure turns around: a husky face with droopy, heavy-lidded eyes and a mask with the skull-and-cross bones insignia belonging to none other than the Surgeon of Death: the vigilante who kills with a blade and his medical knowledge.

   ‘Are you gonna kill me?’ Ace asked.

   ‘Haven’t decided yet.’


	107. Don’t Wake Me Up (That’s When the Dream Ends)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Strawhat Pirate crew have claimed the One Piece. This is the cynical aftermath of such romantic dreams come true.

   Luffy bounced his foot incessantly and ruffled his hair again for the umpteenth time in the last ten minutes. Everyone was beginning to feel this way.

   ‘You shouldn’t have had that sixth cup of coffee.’ Nami lamented. But she couldn’t talk; she had her hands wrapped around a bottle of vodka and her eighth cup.

   Sanji downed his seventh though. He got up, shook his head, paced a bit then sat down. Robin scooted in closer and held his hands; she smiled sympathetically

   ‘I’m a bit peckish…’ she mumbled.

   ‘Anyone else?’ Sanji yipped and he got straight to his feet again.

   ‘Uh yes, a cup of tea would be nice.’ Brook said.

   The crew exchanged glances. They swallowed. Tonight was the night the adventure ends. They’d done it. They’d made it to Raftel and conquered it. What laid beyond tonight was unknown wandering. What was there left to do? So, the only way to counteract that horrid, horrid thought was to never let tomorrow come. For when tomorrow comes, they wake up from their romantic dreams and they couldn’t let that happen.


	108. What’s Cooking, Good Looking?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corazon flirts with Bellemere as she is making lunch for the family.

   Bellemere was making lunch for herself and the kids. She watched over the broth; relished the boil and the flavours coming through the chicken and the vegetables. She smiled to herself. She wasn’t the greatest cook in the universe but what she made was good enough and that was satisfying enough.

   She gave it a stir and the water plumed around the uneven chunks of chicken and carrot.

   ‘What’s cooking good looking?’ Corazon asked, somewhat sneaking up on her as she had been distracted.

   Bellemere almost jumped out of her skin; it most certainly doubled over in goose-bumps. Corazon laced his hands around her waist and settled against her back; his chin on her neck as she slumped over her.

   ‘not much.’ she replied as she tried to shrug him off. ‘Won’t be ready for another half hour, I reckon. Might add more stock…’

   ‘Whatever you say honey.’ Corazon replied; he gave the impression that he hadn’t actually been listening but Bellemere wasn’t miffed. Like most people, he thought with his stomach and the fact food was nowhere close to prepared was enough to deter anyone.

   Bellemere reached for the paprika in the jar across from her. She uncapped it and then she felt Corazon’s warm lips on the bare patch of skin across the nape of her neck. The collision of the two was again, enough to give her half a fright; especially when it turned out that he had wanted to give her a raspberry.

   His lips tickled her neck and she gave half a puff of bemused laughter. She glared at the paprika. Thankfully, she hadn’t gotten it all over her but the spice was across the back of her hand now. She changed hands and put her stained hands in Corazon’s face.

   ‘Look at what you did? Lucky you didn’t make a mess, husband o’ mine.’ she chided playfully.

   ‘I would clean a thousand messes for you, darling wife of mine.’ Corazon replied. He kissed her lips in what was supposed to be a romantic attempt at cleaning her up.

   ‘I’ll remember that for next time then.’ Bellemere pouted.


	109. Time Changes People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The old Robin, the one who had never known true companionship, would have taken such a proposition seriously.

   Time changes people. Rips away innocence and fills the soul with cynicism. But time can also heal.

   Robin has been dealt blow after blow to her psyche as time went on yet strangely enough, time healed her as well. It’s meek and feeble but every touch and every caress and every affirmation love from her crew attempts to put a band-aid across her heart. It’ll be useless in the end. But for now, she can appreciate it.

   As she stared up the gnarled arm of Arlong, she can feel it. She can feel change. It’s almost like watching sand through an hour glass. Second after second; grain after grain.

   ‘Well? What do you say?’ he growled.

   Robin recognises that he’s not after a conversation. He is not offering a choice. He’s trying to put her heart between his claws. Her eyes flash and she steels her resolve.

   Her heart beats in her ears. It’s beating loud and clear. Not quite terrified. No, this isn’t terrifying at all but as the words cluster at the back of her throat, what she is about to say has left her terrified. Terrified of the person she once was. Terrified of the person she will become.

   A breath. A moment of calm amid the chaos.

   ‘No, Arlong.’ Robin stated firmly. ‘My loyalty is forever with the Strawhat Pirates.’

   A different version of herself would have crumbled beneath the pressure. Beneath loneliness and desperation: anything to survive but Robin doesn’t have to survive anymore. She can thrive.

   Arlong smacks her across the face. Her hair flails around her face as her cheeks redden. Robin did not flinch.

   ‘Stupid bitch, you won’t live to regret that decision but there’s still time to change your mind before I get serious.’

   ‘I ought to be telling you that. Once my Captain sees what you’ve done, you may not live to regret that decision and if you do, you won’t be in any state close to living.’

   The old Robin would have accepted treachery but not this Robin for time changes people. With a little pinch of help from loved ones anyway.


	110. Sick of the Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marco and Ace end up in the infirmary with killer colds.

   You know what they say: when it rains, it pours.

   And for two fiery - literally fiery - young men such as Ace and Marco, that’s not good. And, coincidentally, it’s how they both wound up in bed in Moby Dick’s infirmary with their more medically inclined brothers looking after them.

   Izo shoved a thermometer down’s Ace’s throat. he was so rough that Ace couldn’t help but be secretly happy that Izo hadn’t decided to put it anywhere else in Ace’s body. Izo waited a moment then removed it from Ace’s mouth. Ace coughed and sputtered. Flem and mucous followed such raucous noises and reviled Izo. He hated medical duty.

   ‘Your fever’s gone up so you’ll probably sweat out all your germs during the night.’ Izo commented upon reading Ace’s body temperature.

   ‘Same as me?’ Marco piped up.

  ‘Yes, same as you, you delirious fool. I told you that a moment ago.’ Izo said. ‘Someone will send you both chicken soup in a tick. Until then, don’t die of starvation.’

   Izo left and the door slotted back perfectly. Now, it was just them alone with the sound of rain hitting the outside of the ship and the porthole.

   ‘This is all your fault.’ Ace decided.

   ‘My fault? I’m - I’m not - achoo - I’m not the fool who tried to fight in the rain.’ Marco replied.

   ‘Well if you hadn’t gotten into that row with the Marines.’ Ace said.

   ‘I only got into that row because someone mooned that ship.’ Marco snarled back.

   ‘Now you’re making shit up, you must be more delirious than we first thought.’

   ‘No, no, I distinctly remember you mooning that falla.’

   The two went back and forth like that until their throats were too hoarse to the speak. Much to Izo’s irritation because it meant the two weren’t peacefully recuperating and instead being as noisy as they possibly could.


	111. Victim or Perpetrator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mysterious man known as the Surgeon of Death contacts Ace, an ex-marine with a troubled past.

   Ace walked past the telephone booth. He had a song stuck in his head and he had pretty much had the whole world tuned out. He was something of a ghost. He just haunted this particular street. Except he was still flesh and blood, unfortunately. Still, every day of every week, he would walk past this particular phone booth on his way to the booze shops.

   Then, one day, the telephone booth rang.

   Bring bring!

   Loud, noisy, caught his attention but no one else’s. He approached it. It was definitely ringing. He didn’t even know phone booths could be rung. Was it for him?

   It felt like it was. He didn’t know why but he was certain.

   His palms sweated as he brought the receptor to his face.

   ‘Hello?’

   ‘Portgas D. Ace, I presume? Fire Fist Ace?’

   The voice on the other end was completely and utterly unfamiliar. Cold and calculating. Ace licked his lips. If he hadn’t lived the life he had lived, he would have been horrified. This honestly barely marked on his list of weird things that had ever happened to him.

   ‘Yes. Who am I speaking to?’

   ‘I have a proposition, Portgas. Are you content with living your life as a drunkard in a shitty apartment or do you want to continue doing something important with your life?’

   ‘I said, who am I talking to?’

   ‘You may call me… the Surgeon of Death.’

   ‘Alright, Surgeon of Death,’ Ace spoke sarcastically, bitterly, ‘how do you know who I am? How are you doing this?’

   ‘Your questions are… irrelevant. Let’s just say, I am a mutual benefactor. It has come to my attention that you are in need of some. A man of your calibre is wasted in a drunken stupor. I can change your life. I know you are a just man. What happened to your younger brothers in arms was unfair. But surely you won’t let the grief consume you.’

   ‘How do you know about my brothers?’

   ‘Luffy and Sabo. Their deaths were… unavoidable. A consistency across all timelines, I’m afraid. But, that woman with the orange hair just about the pass you by. She is about to be involved in a violent crime. She could be victim or perpetrator but my sources tell me, deaths involving her are an inconsistency, she can be saved. Would you like to help? I’m sure an ex-marine such as yourself should be capable of tailing her. Twenty-four hours, Portgas. See if you can intervene.’

   ‘Wh-What?’

   The Surgeon of Death hung up. Ace turned around and a woman with orange hair walked past. She was the weather lady on a small channel. He’d ogled at her a few times drunk, he would admit. He quaked in his holey boots. He had nothing better to do.

   He was a drunkard in a shitty apartment after all.

   So, he followed her and he followed her down a rabbit hole, that’s for sure.

   Ace ended up saving her from a stalker. She was the victim of this scenario. If Ace hadn’t have been there…

   She would have ended up bleeding out to death from her arm where she ended up getting stabbed. It was bizarre.

   It was like the Surgeon of Death knew it would happen.

   The following day, Ace walked past that telephone booth again on his way to get liquor. Sure enough, the phone rang and he was certain beyond all belief that it would be for him from the Surgeon of Death. So, he answered.

   ‘You did well on your first assignment, Portgas. May I call you Ace?’

   ‘May I know how you’re doing this?’

   ‘All in due time, Fire Fist. But you enjoyed it, didn’t you? Saving people.’

   ‘Well… yeah.’

   ‘Tomorrow, I will have another assignment for you so you better not miss my call.’

   The Surgeon of Death hung up and Ace guaranteed himself that he wouldn’t miss that call. He’d keep collecting them until he got to the bigger picture. Until he learned who the Surgeon of Death was. Until there was no one left to save.


	112. Tashigi's Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nami had come to Tashigi's office with the intent to do two things (steal and, well, Tashigi) but upon arriving, she gets distracted.

   Tashigi quaked in her boots as she sat down. Nami was wide-eyed and stared animatedly at the furniture of the small room. She backed into the door and it closed softly. Yes, this office was do nicely. 

   ‘My, my, aren’t you fancy?’ Nami pondered. ‘You’re own office and all.’

   ‘Well, as Smoker’s highest promoted superior, it does come with some perks.’ Tashigi replied.

   Nami titled her head and she smiled like a fox. ‘You sound nervous?’

   ‘You have ideas for how we spend our time together, don’t you?’

   ‘I did but then I saw your office. As fun as it would be to make out on a Marine’s desk, I’ve got other ideas now.’ Nami said.

   ‘Excuse me?’ Tashigi replied, breathless and going red.

   Nami extended her arms out. Her eyes sparkled. ‘I had no idea you were into topography. Look at all these beautiful maps.’

   ‘I-I’m not, this office used to belong to the navigator but he’s since moved out and I’ve since moved in. We haven’t gotten around to switching up our interior decorating yet.’ Tashigi confessed.

   ‘Still, I can’t believe the resources you have access to. I’m almost jealous.’ Nami admitted.

   ‘The G-6 got all the rubbish stuff though.’ Tashigi replied.

   ‘Still, it’s better quality than what was in my hometown’s book shop.’ Nami giggled.

   Tashigi smiled tersely. But her concern ceased when she took a breath.

   ‘If you like, you may take it. I enjoy listening to you spiel about your knowledge. I’ll turn a blind eye should anyone ask. After all, we’re, um, you’re a pirate and a thief. I wouldn’t get a second glance.’

   ‘Already ahead of you.’ Nami winked at Tashigi and Tashigi’s eyes bulged as Nami revealed how much loot her sticky-fingers had stowed away in her bag already.


	113. It's All Subjective Beneath God's Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dawn of a day twenty-two years ago heralded a new era. The dusk of a day twenty-two years later heralded the end of this new era.

   Good, bad, evil, just: it’s all subjective beneath God’s stars.

   Smoker remembers it was daybreak when Gold Roger died. Looking back, its thematically appropriate. His death gave way to a dawn of a new era of piracy. No. That’s thinking too small. His death gave way to a dawn of a new era in time, in history, in the world!

   And now, it was time for the sun to set. It was time for dusk to draw in. It was time for a new day in the timeline of history. Twenty-two years this abhorrently golden day had lasted. Much time had taken place and now, it had all rotted away and a new head would roll. A new head would be taken - chopped clean off - to represent the end of this new era.

   It was a new moon tonight. Only the silver starlight would guide these lost souls across the mythological river from whence the darkness within them came. From whence the light that filled them would be absorbed After all, good, bad, evil, just, it’s all subjective beneath these stars and Smoker knows deep in his bones forged in stardust that his opinion means for shit.

   These troublesome pirates were just men and women. Their souls were worth more good than most Marines.

   He took a breath.

   ‘I FOUND THE ONE PIECE.’

   Monkey D. Luffy screamed. Tears rolled down his cheek and his head came clean off as the executioner’s axe fell across the nape of the neck.

   His voice rang through the cold, dusky air. It rang inside the ears of the millions of people gathered in Logue Town. His voice would forever be etched in their hearts and in the newspapers. His legacy would be forever as the stars.

   People cried. People cheered. Smoker did both.


	114. Wishful Thinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nami ponders what it would be like to have the pretty Marine with lovely eyes be in love with her.

   Nami truly doesn’t know what it is about pretty Marines with lovely eyes and high virtues but she melts at the thoughts. She has reason to believe though that because of the trauma of watching her mother, her Bellemere, die that it’s left some sort of impression on her. Given her the complete set of expectations for love and life. But that is sort of morbid so Nami tries not to buy into that theory.

   She prefers to chalk it up to plain old “opposites attract”. After all, she was a pretty dodgy gal. Couldn’t be more opposite than a pretty Marine with lovely eyes and high virtues. She was selfish. Crude. Greedy.

   But there wasn’t much of a point on dwelling on it. It’d never work out. Nevertheless, Tashigi invades her thoughts and Nami can’t help but wonder what it would take to make it work.

   A completely different life or a mere string of letters and illicit correspondence?

   If only it were as simple as kissing. Nami dreams more than she would like to admit about taking Tashigi’s glasses off, feeling her eyelashes flutter against her cheek and kissing. It’d be slow and chaste but sweet and naughty. Nami has no doubt in her mind. It was all too tempting.

   She wonders if Tashigi likes girls that way. If she’s ever liked anyone that. Nami likes to think she does. To both. A little experience never hurt anyone. But a little bit of wishful thinking?

   Yeah, that’s hurt a whole lot of people.


	115. Can You Die?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonney and Perona discuss death over drinks.

   Bonney cracked open a beer and guzzled it. She had froth on her upper lip, like some kind of white moustache.

   ‘Hey,’ she slurred, ‘Perona, can you like really die? I mean, you’re like a ghost, right? Ghosts don’t die, right?’

   ‘I can still drown.’ Perona replied as she sipped delicately on a milkshake. ‘What about you? You can age yourself down indefinitely, can you die?’

   ‘Fucking same, I can still drown. But, I can still, like, be um maimed and shit. So yeah, I can still die.’ Bonney said as she selected another bottle of beer. She uncapped. ‘Okay, what about this, what about the afterlife?’

   ‘There’s something there. I don’t know what it is but it’s there and its enough to scare some people straight back, I now that. To be honst, some days, I think the only reason i’m alive is because Heaven doesn’t want me and Hell is worried I’ll take over.’

   Bonney choked on her beer. she snorted it out her nostrils, they stung and fizzed and it was gross. She couldn’t help but laugh though.

   ‘You’re so cringe!’ Bonney bellowed.

   ‘At least I don’t chew with my mouth open!’ Perona yelled back.

   ‘Complain all you want but you still kiss this mouth.’ Bonney snickered.


	116. Admiration (And A Little Bit More)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smoker considers the likeness between Luffy and the other members of his family, the other people carrying the Will of D.

   Upon finding out that Fire Fist and Strawhat were brothers, a lot suddenly made sense in Smoker’s mind. Finding out that Fire Fist and Strawhat were the grandsons of Garp though, even more sense was made. They were all sons of the Will of D and he can tell. He’s met a fair few people with names that had branched from the Will of D but the screwed-up Monkey family had to be his favourite.

   As a kid, Smoker had looked up to Monkey D. Garp. He was the famous Marine. Everybody loved him, men wanted to be him and ladies wanted to be with him. he was the home grown favourite. It was a great sort of image to look up. That admiration never faded over the years. Smoker has nothing but the utmost respect for the eccentric man.

   But as the world changes, it’s the new generation that Smoker finds himself admiring, and a little bit more.

   Luffy has this fire about him. It’s pure and just. It’s chaotic yet lawful. He follows his instincts and he just goes after wherever he’s taken. His morals are secondary to the dream. Smoker thinks he used to be like that but he’s probably fooling himself. Still, he can’t help but admire it.

   And a little bit more.

   In this world, they need someone like that Monkey D. Luffy. He mightn’t fix everything. He’ll probably break a lot more, actually. But the world needs him, Smoker has to admit.


End file.
